I’m almost positive this has been discussed here before but I can’t find it, so whatever. I think last time I saw it, it was a hijack of a seperate (probably completely unrelated) thread anyway, so let’s do it again.
A and B are married. A meets C at the gym and they hook up at A’s request. In the interest of full disclosure, A informs C that they are, in fact, married. C’s all, “Meh. Whatever.” and they Do It.
Whose fault is it? What if C initiated the fling?
I think the blame goes to A, regardless of whose idea it was.
A is with out a boubt completely at fault.
C debatably, has questionable morals.
Who initiated the flirting is irrelevant.
Same here. A is the one who promised something to B. It’s not up to C to uphold said promise.
Both A and C are equally to blame in my opinion.
IMO, A is at “fault,” but C is gross. I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with either of them.
I think A and C are both to blame to some extent, but if I had to pick one, I’d definitely go with A. In general, that is… I think the circumstances can be such that almost any combination of parties can be at fault.
~ Isaac
Sure, if I have to pick one to lay the blame on, I pick A. But both are assholes if you ask me.
Clearly its B’s fault for not keeping an eye on A. At least that what my wife told me to post.
A is to blame but C has a bit of blame as for continuing the relationship. I would say C is even more at blame if they are actively vindictive against B.
A is to blame, but then I have been called slutty for saying that before.
As slutty as I am, only 2 peple take marriage vows. C didn’t break any vows. Of course in some peoples eyes that makes C a whore.
This is the sort of juicy alphabetical gossip that you just don’t get on Sesame Street.
Ain’t that the truth! V and D smell funny and have suspicious leakage, or so I hear.
G is coming back from her doctor’s appointment. One hour forty-seven minutes… that’s a bit long for someone who just had a routine checkup.
Well, A is at fault for breaking a promise.
But C gets the ass-whupping because it’s not nice to hit your wife.
Or C get’s the ass-whupping because it’s unlikely that a wife could kick as much husbandly ass as she could do damage to the shameless hussy that indulged A.
I’ve never bought into the “shameless hussy” accusations myself. People who make vows should keep them but no one else is under any obligation to do so.
IMO, most girls who hook up with attached men likely aren’t looking for eternal romance and that offends a lot of people’s idealized notions of who women should be and what they should want. I think that’s where this “ew, I wouldn’t want to be friendly with a girl like that” attitude comes from.
A is definitely the one at fault. But if karma exists, C is definitely due some payback for his/her actions. What goes around, and all that.
I don’t know about ‘shameless hussies,’ but I do know that C is not the sort of person I’d trust to be a good friend outside of those circumstances. So, they might not be to blame here, but that doesn’t make them a good person.
Most of the blame is firmly on A. He is the one with promised fidelity.
But in most situations, there is probably blame to go around. i.e. C gets almost half of the blame if she initiated the affair knowing he was happily married ( less if he initiated the affair but she knew he was happily married), but I’d assign her much less blame if A told her his marriage was “open” or “my wife and I are getting a divorce” or “we are just together for the kids.” Despite the fact that A made verbal promises, C also has an implicit social contract to uphold to respect marriage. It doesn’t hold the same force as A, but if C doesn’t think she did anything wrong, she isn’t paying much attention to normal social mores.
But B is not blameless either. i.e. she chose a guy who was unfaithful (and, having been there, I will say that I “should have known” and “chose not to” and I think that is often the case).
I wondered how long it would take for someone to project the gender of one of our little letter friends.
And I don’t really buy into C getting half of the blame. If A’s vows were heartfelt, or if A had enough self-control, then C would be out in the cold.
The only reason I would (were I the “B”) go after C would be to make myself fell better and to hurt A.
