So you’ve been hired as the guest host of a nightly talk show called The Last Word. To you, the power has been given to choose the interview subjects for each night. You may also bring a music act or entertainment such as a comedian (but not both due to time constraints); if you have an act, you cannot have two interviews. Who do you pick? I need to think about my choices.
Dolly Parton
Steve Buscemi
Weird Al
Stephen King
Alan Parsons
Zach Weinersmith, so he can plug his books “Bea Wolf” and “A city on Mars”.
His wife Kelly, the ecologist also.
Thomas Pynchon.
That will cause a bit of confusion as there’s already a Monday-through-Friday show (admittedly in prime time rather than late night) with that title.
So your bookings may include some bewildered guests expecting to talk about gun legislation or Trump trials with Lawrence O’Donnell…
Oh no! I just came up with a clever (I thought) show title. Ah, well.
You could go with “The LATE Word,” I guess, though it’s not as idiomatic.
I would play around with the format a bit. My musical/comedy type guests would be interviews. My interview type guests would perform a song, recite a poem, or do a bit of standup.
I would air the show live, in front of an audience in a state that has legal cannabis and there would be a table with prerolls/pipes/bongs/etc. The strains smoked on air would be provided by the grower in exchange for mentions.
First night I’d chat with Tom Waits and Bob Dylan. Senator John Fetterman would do a song or two.
I’d ramble too much as an interviewer, so I’d have my guests interview each other.
First night: Trevor Noah does some standup, then sits down next to Peter Garrett. Australian politician, president of the Australian Conservation Foundation and lead singer of Midnight Oil, who would perform after their conversation.
Another night would have a conversation between Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson, another night would have David Cross doing standup, then chatting with Jason Bateman and Will Arnett … well, you get the idea.
I’d be the lazy guy behind the desk, just enjoying the show.
Also, I want to have Jeff Tiedrich do some political commentary on a regular basis.
Monday I’d start light: Craig Ferguson & Graham Norton. Maybe have them on the same time, just because I don’t know if they have ever met (but it seems pretty likely, doesn’t it?).
Tuesday: Henry Rollins and a musical guest of some sort. Maybe I’ll have him recommend someone? I just learned about a group from Canada called Metric. This may be one of those bands that everyone else knew about ten years ago.
Wednesday: Maybe a pol, Cabinet Member or former Ambassador type for a meaty interview, with a magician on beforehand (been watching too much Fooled Us).
Thursday: A movie star, like Lizzy Caplan who I’ve always found fascinating and underrated. Maybe another musical act.
Friday: If I’m lucky? Gail Simone to talk about the current state of comic book movies/TV. Maybe another magician. What? I like magic.
Question: Does the guest have to be living, or can it be a historical figure?
I’m sticking with people who are alive right now.
For the interview, Putin.
For the comedian: Zelensky. Hey, he was a comedian first. I’m sure he could find a few good zingers for the other guest.
Then as the final credits roll, a cage match to the death.
Of course I’m kidding. But it would get great ratings.
Given the above, I can have anyone (alive) to interview I want, it’s actually a ‘power’ as it were.
I have two guest, back to back. Trump and DeSantis. And I F’n grill them, no soft balls, nothing. And I point out to both ahead of time that the other is going to be on the show and if they refuse to answer questions the other is going to be able to make them look weak for walking off.
Of course, I fully expect my guest host appearance is ended with that one night, so I’ll pass on my other options.
I’d go for an hour with On Tyranny author Timothy Snyder.
Obviously it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But he’s one of those rare people who speak without filler: every word is worth listening to.
I’d say the same of Anita Hill; given the current focus on the Supreme Court, she’d have things to say worth hearing as well.
That’s too bad because my guests are all dead, but it would have been an awesome show.
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Beethoven (musical guest)
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Napoleon Bonaparte (he and Ludwig would fight like cats and dogs)
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Ben Franklin (amusing anecdotes)
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John Adams (he and Ben would fight like cats and dogs)
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Cleopatra (eye candy)
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Julius Caesar (he and Cleo would fight like Liz and Dick)
This assumes they appear while alive, otherwise it would be a boring, dusty show.
dammit.
You should look at Steve Allen’s Meeting of Minds series, where he attempted this kind of thing.
(Meeting of Minds (TV Series 1977–1981) - IMDb)
Tim Burton & Danny Elfman
Neil Gaiman
Jenna Coleman
Peter S. Beagle
Peter Jackson