Who do you consider family?

IMHO family is who you are related to, genetically speaking. Friends are people you get along with, so someone can be a family member, and a friend/not a friend.

My brother (only sibling) is adopted, and I consider him family. But since we live very different lives since leaving home, and have hardly anything in common, he is more like a distant friend (or an online friend). Someone around here once said, and it stuck with me: “A sibling is the longest relationship you are likely to have”. However, those without siblings, and even some with, will find some friendships can outlive a siblingship (is that a word)?

I have a couple of “cousins” that I have lost contact with. Their mother married my uncle when they were under 10 yo, and they had no more children. They are technically cousins, but not friends. I have other “family” (cousins) that I would not know if I passed them in a grocery store aisle. They are family, and not even distant friends.

My other uncle’s (father’s brother’s) children are all alive and well, and are family to me. However, while we are all around the same age, I grew up on the west coast and they all on the east coast, so we did not “grow-up” together. They are also more like online friends since I rarely interact with them. In fact, some of you around here I have interacted with more than them!

I think people abuse the term “family” to treat people like shit sometimes - a friend would not do some of the stuff “family” does to you.

I have family I’m not related to. My best friend and his wife and daughter are my family, I’m closer to him than my brother I’m actually related to. I’ve known them for more than 20 years now. His daughter is 30, I’ve known her since she was 8 or 9, and calls me uncle. Likewise, my daughters call them aunt and uncle because they’ve known them their whole lives.

At one point my friend had a stroke and was in a coma for months. I tried to do everything I could for them and there was no question about it, they are my family.

For me, family is blood, marriage, and adoption.

Immediate family is me, wife, and kids.

Extended family is the above, plus anyone who meets the first requirement. This includes the killer, the Ku Klux Klan member, the Nazi party member, the crazed far-left branch and the bible thumping fundies. It probably includes a portion of one Native American tribe since I’m only two generations from the res.

I also consider my “growing up” family as a separate set (Dad, Mom, sibling). But I don’t know if there’s an accepted name for that.

In conversation, my wife and I also refer to our family “generation”, meaning siblings, cousins, SILs, BILs, etc. Uncles and Aunts would be in our parent’s family generation.

Family of origin

Thank you. I didn’t know that term.