This thread =“https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=22025313#post22025313”]https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=22025313#post22025313 and my last post there got to me thinking, I really don’t like my family, immediate and extended. As I’ve posted there, I would never be friends with any of my siblings if weren’t related and I haven’t spoken more than a handful of words to my cousins, Aunts and Uncles in the past 30 years. I was really close to one of my cousins in my teen years, but we’ve both moved on with our lives and I would never befriend him now if we weren’t related.
One of my many pet peeves is when my siblings say “I love you because you’re my brother!”. Okay, but what about loving me because of who I am regardless of our familial connection.
I admit I’m somewhat of an a-hole at times, but when I befriend someone, it’s really heartfelt and we become really close, though it ever lasts as we both move on.
What are your thoughts/feelings about your family?
I wouldn’t say I dislike my family, but I don’t have much in common with them. I only see them a few times a year, and that seems to be fine with everyone. My older sister I get along with better than the rest, but she lives in Georgia and I really only see her at Christmas.
I get along much better with my wife’s family. They love me!
I definitely like my parents, and though my siblings and I don’t interact a lot, I like them too. Growing up together gave us a similar outlook on life and similar interests so that it’s pretty easy to connect. I’ve lost touch with my extended family except for social media, but I wouldn’t say I dislike them.
I know this doesn’t work out for everyone. Why that is the case is a question beyond my meager abilities.
Most of them I like–my mom and middle sister and her family are all awesome and I’d spend time with them any chance I get. My dad and younger sister are complete wastes of skin who I’d not piss on if they were on fire. Both my kids are great and one of the spouses qualifies as a very good friend–the other is meh but I’m stuck with the situation and without the meh one I’d not have one of my grandkids so that improves things. So six of one, half dozen of the other I guess.
Yes. My brother and I are super close and would have been friends growing up for sure. My parents are ok, we share quirks. We’re close.
My cousins are all good on both sides. Some more than others but I am able to tolerate their peccadilloes. I had an aunt who passed that I didn’t get along with but I have some fond memories of her nonetheless.
I joined the Navy when I was 19 and left home - the only one of the 5 of us offspring to leave the Baltimore metro area. No one in the family really understood what my jobs were over the years, nor did anyone ever ask.
The family visited me once when I was in California - they wanted to visit California. Other than that, my folks visited me 3 or 4 times in 25 years - once because they happened to be RVing nearby. Two of my sisters each visited once, the brother and other sister never did.
Even tho I live within 2-ish hours of all of them for the last 15 years, I don’t think they’ve come here 10 times - individually or carpooling. I’m the one who has to make the drive for all events.
So, I’m not particularly fond of them personally. I honestly don’t think I’d be friends with any of them - especially the two who tend to drink a good bit. On my husband’s side, he’s got a brother who I absolutely can’t stand - the guy’s a racist right-wing Christian-in-name-only who clings to his being the middle child as an excuse for everything. However, his parents are really sweet people. I’ve met a few of his aunts, uncles, and cousins, but only fleeting encounters
I was never close to any cousins, mainly because of age and distance, tho I’m connected to several via FB. Now, alas, my mom is one of the few of her generation still alive - all my aunts and uncles have died.
Most of them, yes. Immediate family is a definite yes, especially since my brother-in-law had the decency to die a couple of years ago. I love my kids, and, surprisingly, all of their spouses and their kids. I get along with the nieces and nephews who I am in contact with. My wife has a few assholes left in hers; okay, most of them have been exhibiting assholish behavior for several years now.
Yep, I like them. I’d be friends with them even if we weren’t related. And I realize how lucky we sibling are. (parents have passed, but I liked them, too.
OP, re: your siblings’ remarks about loving you because you’re their brother, I agree that’s less than a reassuring comment. I always told my kids, “I love you and I like you” for that very reason. I knew they figured I had to love them because I’m their mom, but liking them meant they’re likable–focus on them.
As I have been acquiring more wealth I’ve noticed some relatives have decided to be more friendly.
But seriously we have little in common. I do notice my brother has taken a liking to my son (his nephew) who shares his love of guns and hunting and now makes a point to come to family events just to see him.
I like my parents, most of my aunts and uncles (the ones I don’t I don’t actively dislike, I just have no real emotion toward them at all), most of my cousins, and my niece (so long as my stress levels and her insistence on being The Centre of Attention are in the right proportions).
Not a big fan of my brother or some of my cousins, however.
Yes, I like them, apart from one cousin who has an extremely focused set of interests and is oblivious to signals that he should maybe talk about something else for a while, and one of my mom’s cousins who is a complete nutcase with a chip on her shoulder. Pretty much all of the others are fine.
My missus and the kids we’ve raised–I like them. Missus’ family loves me because I’m good to her and am not a prick to everyone (in real life), for that I like them, although they don’t interest me much. My blood? I have nothing but red hot loathing for each and every one of the jerks except for my brother, who chose to walk through the hate and cultivate a relationship with me. His willingness to mend fences where I was lighting up bridges humbled me. So he’s in, but I couldn’t care less what happens to the rest of that venomous, back-biting pit of hogs.
I love my siblings but as others have said, if we weren’t related we would probably not be friends. They are at the other end of the political spectrum and even though we don’t talk politics anymore (once in a while with my brother) I am constantly thinking (when I am with them) that they helped facilitate where this country is now.
My daughter is my absolute favorite person ever. She’s the best, and not just by Mom standards. She’s truly a wonderful human being.
My parents and brother are just not very good people by my standards. Of course, I don’t measure up by their standards either, so we’re even. I love my cousins though, we jibe.
