I got the best job.
I get to hold this in my hands.
brachyrhynchos:
Well thank God your not a porn star or who knows what that link MAY have led too…
-bri
Yo Brach-
That doesn’t look like a bridge mix candle or a crow.
I’d be depressed…
brachy:
So, you’re a fry cook at KFC?
{runs away extremely quickly}
IMHO, so far GuanoLad is winning.
My job blows, so I win. Because everybody knows that nothing beats a blow job 
I’m a freelance writer. I write fiction in the mornings, and then in the afternoons I run a literary consultancy service. Once a week I teach a creative writing course. I’m pretty damn lucky. I love writing, and I get to either do it or talk about it all day long.
Oh, except when I’m wasting time hanging out with you guys. 
Stompy
seriousart, I have been called a Science Whore…that’s my payoff. Or so everyone seems to thing (glancing at empty wallet).
CnoteChris , it is a crow, disguised as a Yellow Warbler (Dendroica petechia).
<brachy shouts at the retreating, scurrying figure of Ukelele Ike>
KFC!!?! Why this tiny little guy would only be one taste, one momentary mouthful of tasty…um, tempting with honey barbeque dip…er, um…(glances at empty wallet)…<scurries off in other direction>
A co-worker is dating a neurosurgeon who owns several rather successful businesses. This guy is a HUGE Oakland Raiders fan, and apparently has bought season tickets for not just one seat, but an entire luxury suite at the 50-yard line at the Network Coliseum so he could watch pro football.
I want HIS job.
…brain surgery, anyone?
**GuanoLad ** shared: “In a couple of weeks, I’m going to be photographing naked women.”
So GuanoLad… ya finally got a job at Kaiser Permanente working as an X-Ray technician for the Ob/Gyn department, eh?
Haha! Ya see, I figured that people would think I was making it up, or that I was actually gonna be doing illustrations for a Medical Text Book, or maybe even just doing some Figure Studies for Art Class.
But nope. It’s exactly what you wish, but don’t really think would ever happen. I’m gonna be making videos for a pornography website.
In fact, I’m designing the web site too.
Ok, here we go.
I make about $45/hr. I have full medical and 80% dental at no cost to me. I have to pay $1.00 for a prescription, however. I have a defined benefit pension plan, currently $100/year of service. I also have an employer contribution to my 401(k). I have to work 80 days per year to get the benefits package and about 120 days a year to get the full pension credit.
I work when I want. If I don’t want to go to work, I just don’t go. I don’t have to call anyone for permission. For example, two Sundays ago, I decided to go camping on the spur of the moment. I just went. Tomorrow I will show up for work unannounced. If I feel like it. Sometimes I can’t decide whether to go to work or not so I flip a coin. I have a choice of many jobs. I can change jobs as often as I change my socks. If by some happenstance, there was a recession and there was no work, I would still get about a grand a week and full benifits anyway.
So I usually work a four day week, sometimes three. I have at least a three day weekend every week, unless of course I decide to take the week off.
I can be fired, but not in the real sense. If I am, I can come back to work the next day anyway. If the employer choosed to charge me with some violation of the rules, I will be judged by a panel chosen by me and my fellow workers. If the employer really wants to get tough, it goes to a panel chosen equally by us and the employer. Last resort is arbitration on three levels.
I make more money than my supervisors. They hate that but I don’t care.
If the employer becomes pricky, we just stop working on a “safety” beef or get lazy and slow down
My employers make tons of money and my productivity increased 5%/year from 1970-1995. The employers are now complaining that productivity is flat. Right. After a four-fold increase in the last 30 years.
Job security. This job will be here for at least as long as I need it.
Well, that’s about it in a nutshell. Should I go to work tomorrow. I guess it really depends on the weather. If its nice out, It may be better to go for a stroll in the woods and have a beer or two. Guess I’ll decide in the morning. Just kidding. I am going to work in the morning.
I have a rough commute, however. About 7 minutes or so. I come home for lunch for an hour. I usually take a shower and change my shirt.
Stress? Don’t know the meaning of the word.
Sorry, I don’t mean to gloat. Really. I have been very fortunate and I know it. I really feel bad that most people actually have their entire lives stolen from them. It doesn’t have to be this way.I only wish everyone could have the freedom I have. Because that is what it is all about. Freedom. Real freedom, not the phony kind that is always being bandied about on the fourth of July. Someday, we shall all be free. We only have to demand our freedom. Together.
I haven’t checked to see if I won the fifteen million lotto yet but if I have I will still be going to work.
I’m serious.
The best job in the world is one you would do for nothing and mine is one of those. I get to make people’s lives better and they let me know how much. My supervisors tell me that I do a great job and I have the respect of my co-workers.
What else could I ask for?
I guess a raise would be nice…
How about coming and going as you pleased and being fire proof?
Robbespiere I have to ask what do you do because that job sounds nice.
I don’t have the best job but my job is not that bad. I do networking tech support for a major mail order company. I work eight hours a day from Noon to Nine during the week and am guaranteed every weekend off. I have a supervisor who is very easy to get along with and co workers that also are good people. The pay isn’t the best but I’m 20 minutes from home. I get 401K matching, health and dental benefits and also training from our vendors on the products we support. Because it is all over the phone I don’t get to see my customers but that can be a good thing at times. This job is much better than working in fast food where my previous jobs were.
Robbespiere…
And just what did you say you do for a living?
I clearly have the best job. I don’t work…therefore I can party whenever I want.
looking at watch…
Pretty soon I am going to either start making wild guesses as to what Rob does for a living or come to the conclusion he was pulling everyone’s chain.
Maybe he’s an exotic dancer with a really good benefit package?
“Fire-proof” maybe that was a play on words. Maybe he’s a smoke-jumper, or something like that . . .