Who has the best job?

In My Humble Opinion
41

Well, in a post some time ago, I explained why I think I have the best job in the world. Here it is:

I make about $45/hr. I have full medical and 80% dental at no cost to me. I have to pay $1.00 for a prescription, however. I have a defined benefit pension plan, currently $100/year of service. I also have an employer contribution to my 401(k). I have to work 80 days per year to get the benefits package and about 120 days a year to get the full pension credit.

I work when I want. If I don’t want to go to work, I just don’t go. I don’t have to call anyone for permission. For example, two Sundays ago, I decided to go camping on the spur of the moment. I just went. Tomorrow I will show up for work unannounced. If I feel like it. Sometimes I can’t decide whether to go to work or not so I flip a coin. I have a choice of many jobs. I can change jobs as often as I change my socks. If by some happenstance, there was a recession and there was no work, I would still get about a grand a week and full benifits anyway.

So I usually work a four day week, sometimes three. I have at least a three day weekend every week, unless of course I decide to take the week off.

I can be fired, but not in the real sense. If I am, I can come back to work the next day anyway. If the employer choosed to charge me with some violation of the rules, I will be judged by a panel chosen by me and my fellow workers. If the employer really wants to get tough, it goes to a panel chosen equally by us and the employer. Last resort is arbitration on three levels.

I make more money than my supervisors. They hate that but I don’t care.

If the employer becomes pricky, we just stop working on a “safety” beef or get lazy and slow down

My employers make tons of money and my productivity increased 5%/year from 1970-1995. The employers are now complaining that productivity is flat. Right. After a four-fold increase in the last 30 years.

Job security. This job will be here for at least as long as I need it.

Well, that’s about it in a nutshell. Should I go to work tomorrow. I guess it really depends on the weather. If its nice out, It may be better to go for a stroll in the woods and have a beer or two. Guess I’ll decide in the morning. Just kidding. I am going to work in the morning.

I have a rough commute, however. About 7 minutes or so. I come home for lunch for an hour. I usually take a shower and change my shirt.

Stress? Don’t know the meaning of the word.

42

I don’t understand what YOU DO, though. Other than kind of show up and sort of do stuff, what do you do? What is you actual title, Rob?

As for me, I don’t have the best job in the world but it is very quiet: I work at a cemetery. I am the development person here, so I raise money and think up ways to get people to come here and visit…

Of course, I have “heard it all”.

It’s a great thing to tell people when they try and impress you with their badass corporate jobs, because most of them have no response to it. Those that do always ask why someone so young works here.

I dunno. It’s old and pretty. And very, very quiet.

43

I get out of bed, shower, get dressed, grab a cup of coffee and walk ten feet into my home office. I turn on the computer, put on my telephone headset, answer email and wait for the phone to ring. When it does ring, I answer technical questions about a product I designed and manufactured for twenty-five years. When it doesn’t ring, I wait until it does.

About once a month I write a two to four page technical article for a trade publication.

Several times a day, I cross reference a competitor’s product to one of ours.

When Marcie gets home, I complain about what a hard day I had and then we go for a walk on the beach.

There may be better jobs, but this is the best one I ever had.