Who is Roo's Father?

[twickster]

Dammit, astro, you promised you had destroyed those pix!

[MacTech]

[Darth Vader]
No Roo, I am your Father
[/Darth Vader]

[Roo]
NOOOOOOO!!!

[MovieMogul]

@Inigo Montoya

Cute answers everyone, but I’m afraid you’re all wrong. See, A.A. Milne was my mom’s great grand uncle. When she was a very small girl he would tell her some of the 100 Acre Wood tales as bedtime stories. She says that, once, she asked this same question of her uncle and was shocked by the answer. Having done additional reseach on my own, I can only conclude that her memory, as well as his explanation, are faithful to history.

Kanga was born and raised in Australia. She was raised in a peaceful herd without harassment from dingoes or even humans. She was very respectful of her elders as a young kangaroo and showed every sign of blossoming into a well-balanced and demure adult female. But then she met Roo’s father.

He was both rowdy and loving, a free-spirit but faithful and patient. She was helplessly smitten with his tender charm mixed with a touch of “bad boy” mischief. After a respectable courtship, they mated. Repeatedly. Furiously. He had a stamina like no other kangaroo the herd had ever known. Kanga had no choice but to conceive.

It was not long after the vigorous nuptiuals that Roo’s father and some of his mates were out about their business for the evening when they happened across a pair of human vehicle of the strangest sort. After some careful observation, they deduced that the vehicles were owned and operated by a pair of female humans. Always full of mischief, the mates drew lots to see which of them would dare to sneak into one of the vehicles to steal a pair of female knickers. Roo’s father, Booga, wound up having to take the dare. He crept to the closest vehicle, a highly modified army tank, and stole in through the hatch. He didn’t come out until dawn.

By the time he returned to the herd, Kanga had been clued in as to Booga’s encounter with a human female and, heartbroken, disgusted and humiliated she fled to England and the 100 Acre Wood. Roo has never met his father, but each day Kanga sees the love and mischief of her beloved/despised Booga in Roo’s eyes. She wants so much for Roo, but knows to keep him well away from human females.

I can hear Kanga’s subsequent denials as Roo sends her assorted head shots of those he suspects to be his father:

“I know you think this is the right Booga that you picked, but it’s not.”

[Colibri]

@Askia

Say now, don’t female kangaroos have double vaginas?

Believe it or not, while male kangaroos have bifurcate penes, female kangaroos have not one, not two, but three vaginas - at least ones that have given birth. They have two vaginas in order to accomodate the two prongs of the male’s dong, and develop a third one in the middle in order to give birth. I swear, a diagram of a female marsupial’s reproductive tract looks like a map of the NYC subway system.

[SkipMagic]

@pravnik

Zeus.

What, another golden shower? I’m not sure Kanga was into that kind of kink.

[Ashes_Ashes]

Kanga’s husband is away because of work, trying to keep their express delivery service afloat since they lost their best pouch when Kanga quit to raise Roo. The entire family is quite respectable. It’s that masochistic perv Eeyore and meth addict Tigger you have to watch out for. Rabbit’s a good guy, despite being caught with a half-naked Pooh lodged in the opening of his den. Pooh was the aggressor and well over 21 in any case.

@Colibri

Believe it or not, while male kangaroos have bifurcate penes, female kangaroos have not one, not two, but three vaginas - at least ones that have given birth. They have two vaginas in order to accomodate the two prongs of the male’s dong, and develop a third one in the middle in order to give birth. I swear, a diagram of a female marsupial’s reproductive tract looks like a map of the NYC subway system.

This is all wrong, a complete fabrication actually. Cite? It’s oogy, that’s my cite. Jeepers-- who needs to invent aliens what with Australia’s contributions to our animal kingdom?

[Happy_Lendervedder]

I always thought a newly-pubescent Christopher Robin was looking for something fuzzy to rub on, one thing led to another, and 35 days later…
We all know that Robin boy was a lonely lad.

Happy

[Typically_Sunday]

A wizard did it.

[Ranchoth]

@Ashes

Rabbit’s a good guy, despite being caught with a half-naked Pooh lodged in the opening of his den.

Wait, wait, hold on just one goldurned minute, here…

Rabbit’s a guy? :eek: :dubious:

[rayh]

And Pooh Sticks isn’t about throwing twigs in a river either.

[RandMcnally]

@Meeko

Rocko.

I mean if Wallabys ARE Kangaroos.

Actually, they’re beavers. Anyone who knows way too much about this show knows what I’m talking about.

I get it. Kanga + Roo = Kangaroo.

Yes, I’m serious.

Yes, I know it’s sad.

I’ll leave now.

[Colibri]

@Ashes

This is all wrong, a complete fabrication actually. Cite? It’s oogy, that’s my cite. Jeepers-- who needs to invent aliens what with Australia’s contributions to our animal kingdom?

Here

Another marsupial characteristic is the female has two vaginas, which open to the outside through a single opening. The two vaginas have not fused to form a single vagina because the tubes (ureters) from the kidneys to the bladder pass between them. Although the vaginas serve as passageways for the sperm to the egg, the young are not born through the vaginal passages. Instead, a new opening develops in the connective tissue between the vaginas and functions as the birth canal. In kangaroos this passageway becomes permanent after the birth of the first young. Male marsupials have forked penises, and the testes are located in a scrotal sac in front of the penis, rather than behind it (except in the marsupial mole, Notoryctes, in which the testes are internal)

This source considers them to have two vaginas and a separate birth canal; others say they have three vaginas. It’s just a matter of terminology.

[Baldwin]

“Kanga,” said Pooh (rather quickly, because he was Excited), “may I put my Tiddlypom in your Very Warm Place?”

– From a “National Lampoon” parody.

[Shirley_Ujest]

Because of Kanga we all know that kangaroo’s have three vaginas (vaginii?) and their interior system is like a bus system map.
I cannot wait to drop that tidbit into a conversation.

Thanks Colibri!

[Ashes_Ashes]

Gah! Stop all that fighting ignorance Colibri! Great, this newest little oog-fest gets into scrotal stuff. Fer goodness sakes, was og high, or just using up spare bits when he made these poor beasties?

And good try linking to a cite, but I’m beginning to suspect you’re just the sort to choose one with pictures. Color pictures containing great detail too, huh?

[Dung_Beetle]

@Baldwin

“Kanga,” said Pooh (rather quickly, because he was Excited), “may I put my Tiddlypom in your Very Warm Place?”

– From a “National Lampoon” parody.

My mind keeps wanting to pick this up and run with it. I’m thinking of going and hitting myself with a hammer to make it stop.

[Colibri]

@Ashes

And good try linking to a cite, but I’m beginning to suspect you’re just the sort to choose one with pictures. Color pictures containing great detail too, huh?

Your wish is my command. Here’s a diagram of the reproductive tract of the female kangaroo (on the left). My sincere apologies for not being able to find one in color.

Guys, just be glad you don’t have to try to locate the G-spot in that! :eek:

[Shalmanese]

@rayh

And Pooh Sticks isn’t about throwing twigs in a river either.

No, you misunderstood him, he said “whichever one comes under the bridge the fastest wins”.

[flight]

@astro

Oh fine… you want a suave and sophisticated kangaroo, here you go.

I think this guy has him beat.

[Clothahump]

You guys are all sick.
And wrong.
C’mon! It’s obvious that Kanga had a fling with The Heffalump!