Our Lamaze teacher was like this too. She would say over and over again that while it was certainly possible to learn the Lamaze techniques well enough to not need pain medication during child birth, she honestly didn’t think any of the people in my group would, so the focus of the class was to give us the tools “just in case.” As a result, I simply could not take it seriously, since I knew that painless “bliss” was just around the corner whenever I couldn’t handle things myself.
As a result, I really was not prepared when I went into labor with my first child. I can’t say that the pain was worse than I expected, because it was simply nothing like anything I expected. I did deal with it as long as I could, then asked for an epidural. As soon as I got the epidural, labor stopped, completely. By the time the contractions started again a few hours later, the epidural was wearing off, and the doctor didn’t want me to have a second one. I was too worn out and in too much discomfort to push very hard at this point, but I was able to get the baby far enough down that the doctor could pull it out with forceps.
With the second child, I decided that Lamaze was NOT the way to go. I found out about the Bradley Method, which is a lot more realistic about how well mothers can handle pain, and the training is supposed to start a lot earlier in the pregnancy. There were no local Bradley trainers where we lived, so my husband and I taught ourselves the steps.
When I went to the hospital to give birth the second time, I was MUCH better prepared, and had much better “tools” to use in handling the pain. When the anesthesiologist appeared in my room to give me an epidural, I refused. She even came back in about an hour later to tell me that she was leaving the hospital, and this was my last chance. I still refused. As a result, I gave birth with no pain medication at all. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but the labor and delivery were much easier and faster, as was my recovery afterwards.
If I were to do it again, I would use Bradley again with no qualms whatsoever. I have also found that the techniques used to control labor pain are good for almost any other pain, too, and I use them as necessary to manage other pain.
I think the big difference between Lamaze and Bradley is that Bradley outright admits that there is pain, and the techniques are meant to teach you how to cope with the very real pain of labor and delivery. In fact, there is a strong component of learning to use the pain to make labor and delivery more efficient. Lamaze techniques are designed to teach you to ignore the pain, rather than admit to the pain, without as much emphasis on how to use your body to help the delivery process.
The Bradley Method also gives the partner (usually the father) a much larger role in helping the mother manage what’s going on. He is much less a “coach” who is simply reminding the mother of what she learned in the lessons, and more a partner who has learned all of the techniques himself, as well how to handle problems that might arise before, during, and even after delivery.
Yes, women have been using anesthesia for labor for decades, but women have been giving birth without anesthesia for millenia.