It’s very interesting that most of us have to define “who REALLY loves you” their own way.
For me, it’s “Who would let you live in their house with them for an undefined period of time because you suffered a humongous financial setback” because this actually happened to me and I actually had to move my family (me, husband, sons 2 and 5) into my in-laws basement for four months. Greater love hath no man or woman than this…to shelter wanton toddlers, yea, and their sippy cups and diapers unto the last day.
so, my husband (he comes in under the “take a bullet” clause. Obviously, he lets me live with him all the time)
my mom and dad
my mother- and father-in-law (though I may just be squeaking by on my husband’s account in the case of his dad)
my two brothers and their wives
two really good friends from college (married to each other)
someday, I hope my three sons will fall into this category, though I sincerely hope not to have to live with them.
My dad if the crap he’s put up with his grand daughter, my niece, doing is any indication. I would say my sister, aunt, and mother too but I’m not sure they’d shield me if I were a serial killer, nor would I expect them (or my dad) to.
Aesiron brings up a point I think many of us were trying to get at, which is that real love doesn’t mean making excuses for bad behavior and enabling people. If I did something illegal, I would expect my husband to hold me to the same standards of behavior as he holds anyone else… because he loves me and being loving does not mean overlooking moral faults, it means stepping up and saying, ‘‘Hey, what you did is wrong and you have to take responsibility for this.’’
My Aunt would actually be a good example of this. She took me into her home rent-free when I was a teenager looking for a place to live, and took upon herself tremendous inconvenience in making sure I had a safe place to be. However, she never excused my bad behavior due to my upbringing. She always said, ‘‘Look, responsible adults don’t behave that way. It’s not acceptable.’’ And that is a lot stronger love, I think, then the love-with-no-backbone sort that a lot of kids get when they’re going through rough times. I am a better person because of her. That is real love.
It’s kind of a paradox. I like to think my wife wouldn’t love me if I were the kind of person who would put a loved one at risk for such base reasons.
But I’d say the people who love me like that are my dad and my wife (mom would have, but she’s dead). My daughter is only 3-1/2, so she wouldn’t be too helpful in that regard.
I long ago realised that my father is too self-absorbed to love anyone that way, and my mother’s love is entirely conditional (this is the woman who once admitted that if she could undo her marriage to my father she’d do it in a heartbeat, even if this meant that my sister and I would never have existed).