Who should be a patron saint? What activity needs a patron saint?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was thinking about today’s Baldo comic:
http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ba/2003/ba031110.gif

And it seems there are things that some people are destined to become the patron saint of.
(Once they die, get canonized, yadda yadda…)
(even fictional people - worked for St. Valentine)

Don Quixote would make an excellent patron saint of many things, such as impossible dreams, lost causes, etc.

Al Gore will eventually be recognized as the patron saint of the internet, and robots in government.

There are also some things that need a patron saint and require candidates.

I would like to know who’s the patron saint of flash photography?
Who can I light a candle for to get the flash to always go off indoors and not outdoors?
Should I suggest Edison? Or perhaps Jimmy Olsen, that cub reporter at Clark Kent’s Daily Planet

  • He always got the shot of Lois and Superman, even when speeding like a bullet.

And a patron saint of school bake fairs. I want someone to help assure my efforts are all sold.

2

Christopher Walken - Patron Saint of the Cowbell

3

Duncan Hines?

4

St. Jude has already got most of these things covered.

**

The internet is St. Isidore of Seville’s area. Seriously.

**

St. Veronica is the patron saint of photography (because of the sudarium–i.e., “Veronica’s Veil”–which, you see, was kind of like a photograph).

And St. Vincent Ferrer really is the patron saint of plumbing, as well as brick laying.

You name it, the Catholic Church has probably got it covered: http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/patron00.htm

5

An ancient thread on the saints who walk among us on the SDMB.

6

Seems like the size of that list means names and activities are added all the time.
Check it again next week and maybe Christopher Walken and Duncan Hines will be there :smiley:

7

There certainly ought to be a patron saint for lost itmes at the laundromat.
Maybe that Maytag repairman.

8

There definitely needs to a patron saint of people who drive while talking on the cellphone. In fact, a whole squadron of patron saints.

9

I can imagine aspiring reality TV writers, directors, and producers going to pray at the Saints Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson Cathedral. Heck, if such a church were to open, I’d probably start going to Mass again, myself.

How about Cecil Adams, patron saint of newspaper collumnists (and protector of pseudonyms)?

Also, I thought St. Valentine was real. No? :confused:

In fact, I thought there were two historically real Valentines who became saints . . . this is not true?

10

Sean “P-Diddy” Combs, patron saint of Bling Bling

There was a book about 30 years ago by Jerry Mander about paper airplanes. He referred to Leonardo da Vinci as the patron saint of paper airplanes.

There are no fewer than two patron saints for beer and beermaking: Arnoldus the Strong and Gambrinas.

Warren Beatty, the patron saint of satyriasis

11

I’d say it’s about time the following newly-preeminent cultural phenomena were invested with patron saints:

  • Console and computer gaming
  • Porn video
  • Pop Bimbos (both male and female)
  • Reality Television
  • Collectible Card Games
  • Home Improvement Television

and last, but not self-referentially least:

  • Blogs and Message Boards

I’ll leave it up to the Teeming Hordes to nominate the candidates for sainthood in these categories.

12

Well, St. Honorius is the patron saint of bakers, maybe that’s close enough?

13

“San Francisco is such a gay city. We even have a gay patron saint: Saint Francis the Sissy. For his miracle, he turned breakfast into brunch.”

  • Tom Ammiano
14

We need patron saints for…

-Mob/vigilante Violence
-Mad scientists (Hephestos works for me, tho’)
-Snipers
-Sewer workers
-Graven image makers
-Artificial life forms
-Centaurs
-Superheroes/Mutants
-Geeks and nerds

15

I will humbly volunteer to be the patron saint of all things chocolate. I don’t gotta die first, do I? If so, I’d like to have my demise occur by 4 tons of M&M’s dropping on me.

These things also need saintly patrons:

Shagging
Terrorism
Mispronounced words
Mowing the lawn
Trolling
Spitballs
Telekinetic monkeys
Time travel
Muscle twitches
Yellow No. 5
Crossdressing
Loofahs
Sporks
l33t5p34k
Lollipops
80s hair bands

16

May I humbly suggest St. Grapist, Patron Saint of Trolling??

Glory be.

17

I think that we need a patron saint of skank. Who should it be, Paris Hilton, or Pamela Anderson?

18

Pamela is good for older skanks, but JayLo for younger ones.

Before cross-country skiing I say a prayer for Olympic medalist Veikko Hakulinen. (died at 78 after a car hit him on a slippery road in southern Finland).

Horseflesh -

Mispronounced words are the domain of Reverend William Spooner, who once said “Mardon me, Padam, but this pie is occupewed – may I sew you to another sheet?”

The patron saint of loofahs is it’s inventer Shafool.
The brand name is printed backwords so you can read it in the bathroom mirror.

19

Hacking* - Eris, Goddess of Chaos**

*Real hacking, not criminality.
**She doesn’t have to be a Goddess all the time. Or maybe she does. Of course, goddesses can do what they want, which includes being a saint in a lesser religion. I can make statements like these: I’m a Pope.

20

At least three different Saint Valentines, all of them martyred on 14 Feb (different centuries), are mentioned in the early martyrologies. One is described as a priest at Rome, another as bishop of Interamna (modern Terni). Of the third Saint Valentine, who suffered in Africa with a number of companions, nothing further is known.

Three Saint Valentines, all died on the same day?
And coincidentally on the same day as the Romans had honored Juno, the Goddess of women and marriage?

This was too much of a coincidence and in 1969, Pope Paul VI dropped all three Valentines from the feast day calendar.