Who the Fuck Greenlighted This Piece of Shit?

[Briminator]

The movie most likely cost around 20 million to make and I’m sure that they will make over 50 million in the theatres, and way more in video sales and rentals.

Sounds like a good business decision to me.

And I want to see it sooooooo bad!

[Phlip]

I was just at the official JASONX website and the producers , and everywhere else on the site for that matter, refer to the “upgraded” Jason as UBER Jason.

Im not shittin… UBER Jason

This movie is gonna be a blast!

[easy_e]

Once the premise of the movie became clear, pretty much everyone who was in the theater started laughing, and didn’t stop until the trailer was over. That would be an excellent audience reaction, if it was marketed as a satire rather than a horror movie.

[Kirkland1244]

Horror films are supposed to be laughed at these days. They’re horror-comedies. Straight “scary” horror films flop in todays market. So, this is, in a way, satire.

[Tuckerfan]

*Originally posted by Kirkland1244 *
**Horror films are supposed to be laughed at these days. They’re horror-comedies. Straight “scary” horror films flop in todays market. So, this is, in a way, satire. **

Uh, I don’t think so. It didn’t look like satire to me, and it didn’t look that way to the audience I saw it with. Everyone seemed to be shouting, “That’s stupid!” or “Man, that’s gonna suck!” when they weren’t laughing at the trailer. Face it, this movie was a bad idea to begin with.

[Anamorphic]

My partner and I were being considered to write and direct “Freddy vs. Jason”. We told our agent to tell them we might be interested, if we could do it as a musical.

Curiously, we never heard back from them.

[Tuckerfan]

Wait! Wait! I’ve figured it out! The guys who decided to do this movie saw The Producers and realized that they could make more money from a movie that bombed than one that was successful! So really, its in their best interest that none of us go see this movie. After all, we’d hate for it to be a success and the producers all wind up in jail!

[Fingolfin]

LOL!

You never know, Halloween H20 was actually a damn fine movie.

[Darwin_s_Finch]

The review at Teleport City told me everything I need to know. Note that the review contains “spoilers” (if such can actually apply to a movie that is already rancid).

[Tuckerfan]

Oh, cercaria, your posts to this thread have been utterly hysterical! You really need to post more often! (Well, okay the Board really needs you to post more often, but get my point.)

[magdalene]

*Originally posted by Anamorphic *
**We told our agent to tell them we might be interested, if we could do it as a musical.
**

Freddy’s natural “jazz hands” would make the dance numbers a scream!

[Tuckerfan]

*Originally posted by Darwin’s Finch *
**The review at Teleport City told me everything I need to know. Note that the review contains “spoilers” (if such can actually apply to a movie that is already rancid). **

I think that this paragraph says it best:

A few years too late, missing the end of the trend, someone decided that the power of nostalgia and the waning interest in dippy slasher films was all we needed to get another Jason Voorhees movie made. But what could they do? What could they do to make this one different? I know! They could set it centuries in the future, in outer space! A novel approach if you ignore the fact that Hellraiser and Leprechaun had already done it. You are in big, BIG trouble when you follow the lead of a Leprechaun film.

Why in goddess’s name would you want to rip off one of the Leprechaun films? :eek:

[Max_Torque]

*Originally posted by Darwin’s Finch *
**The review at Teleport City told me everything I need to know. Note that the review contains “spoilers” (if such can actually apply to a movie that is already rancid). **

Well, christ, he starts off by telling you up front that

I have never liked the slasher genre. I’ve found it boring, juvenile, and generally uninteresting. They rarely deliver much of anything, and the chance to watch teenagers acting like idiots before being skewered by some hulking beast is not something I want to take advantage of when I could be doing other things, like watching a zombie movie or marveling at the way Billy Mays’ amazing Orange Clean unleashes the concentrated power of pure orange oil to clean away the decade-old grease and charring on my stove.

I mean, what chance did the movie have if he doesn’t even know how to enjoy a slasher movie in the first place? Nope, look for a review from someone who is actually capable of enjoying a slasher, it’ll be more honest.

[Darwin_s_Finch]

*Originally posted by Max Torque *
**I mean, what chance did the movie have if he doesn’t even know how to enjoy a slasher movie in the first place? Nope, look for a review from someone who is actually capable of enjoying a slasher, it’ll be more honest. **

The movie had as much chance as it deserved, in my opinion. Slasher movies, with rare exceptions, simply aren’t enjoyable; it’s a genre which has been done to death…so to speak. Quite literally, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

[Tuckerfan]

Uh, Max, did you happen to skip over the paragraph where the reviewer says:

So it is with no small degree of stubbornness that I occasionally find myself dragged unwillingly into the realm of simply hating a film from end to end. It doesn’t happen often, but I hate it when it does. I hate it because I want someone’s hard work to have paid off, and I want my time to have been, if not wisely, at least entertainingly invested in the ninety or so minutes I spend watching something. As I’ve pointed out before, unlike most critics, I don’t relish the thought of writing a thoroughly bad review, of having to dismiss a film as possessing no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Sounds to me that he was at least willing to give the movie a shot, and he gave up once it demonstrated that it wasn’t worth watching.

[cercaria]

*Originally posted by Tuckerfan *
**Oh, cercaria, your posts to this thread have been utterly hysterical! You really need to post more often! (Well, okay the Board really needs you to post more often, but get my point.) **

Yay! Somebody likes me!!! As soon as this semester ends I’m sure I’ll be posting in an almost neurotic fashion. I just hope no one gets sick of me.

[Gozu_Tashoya]

Okay, let’s put it this way: JasonX is not supposed to be a horror flick any more than Triple X is supposed to be a James Bond movie. They’re both the over-the-top adrenalinifications of the genre and are not supposed to be taken as anything other than good campy fun with self-reflexive satirical elements.

I mean, come on, you saw the trailer with Blade II, you know what can happen when a bad movie takes itself to seriously.

[dead0man]

I was thinking the exact same thing KKBattousai. I’d actually expect a high percentage of Blade 2 fans to go to both movies. I’m sure I will watch JasonX when it comes out on cable 3 months after its opening in the theaters. Hell, I’m sure I will watch it before I watch Blade 2.
dead0man

[Tuckerfan]

*Originally posted by cercaria *
**

Yay! Somebody likes me!!! As soon as this semester ends I’m sure I’ll be posting in an almost neurotic fashion. I just hope no one gets sick of me. **

Keep posting the kind of stuff you did here and you’ll be worshipped on these boards!

[Mtgman]

cercaria RUN!! Save yourself while you still can! Once you start down the dope path, forever will it dominate your destiny…