Who the hell dumps a rooster in someone's yard?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We woke up this morning to the sound of a rooster crowing. And crowing. And crowing. And crowing. Which is all well and normal for a rooster, except as far as we know, nobody in the neighborhood has chickens except us, and ours are all hens. So we wondered, who’s gone and gotten a damn rooster? Has one of the hens somehow started crowing? In general, WTF?

I went out to gather eggs a bit ago and discovered that apparently we have gone and gotten a damn rooster. At any rate, there is a rooster out in our dog lot parading up and down outside the hen run fence. And, incidentally, crowing his ass off. Because he’s a rooster, and they don’t just crow at sunrise–they crow all the goddamn time. That’s why we went with a sex-link breed of chicken, to be sure we didn’t wind up with any of the noisy damn things.

I suppose he might be a stray that just found his way to our yard particularly because of the hens, except that I don’t think anybody within a half mile of us has chickens of any sort, much less a full-grown rooster, and that’s a hell of a long way for a chicken to stray from its coop. And while we were out of town yesterday, we got a call from a neighbor that our back gate was open and the dogs were loose. That was worrying me, because I knew for sure the gate was closed before we left and didn’t think the dogs had suddenly started nosing the latch open after six years of never touching it.

But now it all makes sense: Mysterious open gate + mysterious rooster = someone dumped him on us.

Actually, it doesn’t all make sense. It doesn’t make sense at all. Why would someone dump a rooster in our yard? If you just had a rooster you didn’t want, there are plenty of people in this county who would buy it, or else butcher it for you. There are plenty of places out in the county where people dump dogs and cats and such. There’s no reason to bring it slap into the middle of town to do anything with it. So it doesn’t make sense for it to be random.

But if you were going to bring a rooster into the middle of town, cross a bridge into a neighborhood that’s only accessible by one road, open someone’s gate and sneak into their yard to release a chicken into their yard because they have chickens and will take care of him, there’s no reason not to open the coop door and put him in with the other chickens so he’ll have food and water and the dogs won’t get him. Also, nobody but our friends and close neighbors even have any way of knowing we have chickens and they all know full well we don’t want a rooster. So it also doesn’t make any sense for it to be something specifically aimed at us.

I can sort of follow the logic if one of the people who hate hate HATES the notion of us having chickens in their precious semi-fancy neighborhood has gotten him put in on us so they’ll have something to complain to the city about and thus somehow make us get rid of the hens. But that’s just pantalones de loco.

2

I know somebody who bought all female chicks to find out that one was, er, not. Now, she gave it to some of her tenants from Mexico, who were quite glad to, er, take it off her hands, but somebody more squeamish might dump a rooster on people with chickens the same way that when we lived out in the country people would dump pregnant cats all the time - takes it off their conscience.

3

I can totally see one of my friends dumping a rooster in my yard in the dead of night, but that’s because it would be hilarious. We live in the middle of the city, and we don’t have chickens.

4

How are you going to cook him? Seriously, he’s gotta go. It would drive me bonkers.

5

This same thing happened to us a few years back. I got home from work one afternoon to find a white hen sitting in the snow beside our garage (we have about 10 hens). I looked all around - as if I could see someone hiding behind a tree or something. So I go over to the hen and it tries to get away from me - but it can’t. It’s toes are all twisted and it can’t walk.

Oh friggin’ great - I think, someone decided since we have chickens, I am a magic chicken doctor and will take care of this sick bird. When my car breaks, do I leave it in someone’s driveway figuring since they have a car, they can fix mine??? No, I do not.

OK - so I call my husband and ask what we should do - since you never introduce a foreign bird (especially one that appears sick) into your own nice healthy flock. At first we figured he’d need to kill it when he got home, but then my daughter gets home from the bus and sees the white hen and…yes you guessed it…names it Snowflake. So - killing is off the list for now.

I set it up in the garage in a large cardboard box with food and water. I go buy some de-wormer and dose her with it. She ends up not only surviving the next few nights but getting so that she can hop about on her poor twisted little feet and flying fairly well. I suspect that the poor thing was kept in a cage and was malnourished.

Long story short - she ended up being one of our very best hens - laid eggs like crazy and we loved her very much…until the day the bobcats got her and 4 other of our hens. Bastards. Now we have a giant fence and no more free-ranging for the ladies.

So - moral of the story - I would still get rid of the damn rooster cause who wants them?

6

What the hell else would you do with a rooster?

7

If it makes anyone else feel better a few summers ago I found a fish in my backyard. Not a little fish either. It was probably at least 18 inches long and (going on memory) something along the lines of a salmon or bass. Of course, it didn’t wake me up, being dead and all.

I’m going to guess someone, somehow, wound up with a rooster and didn’t know what else to do with it so they dumped it in your yard figuring you either wouldn’t notice or wouldn’t care. My neighbors had a pet duck that won in a raffle. It started out as a little duckling and they just assumed it would die over the course of the summer, but 5 years later they had this giant mallard and no idea what to do with it. I suggested they take it to a local farm/petting zoo/apple orchard a few miles away which is what they ended up doing.

8

You mean besides bring him into the middle of town and sneak him into someone else’s yard? Eat him. Sell him to one of the people around here who raise fighting cocks. Dump him out in the country. Drop him off at the animal shelter. Let him free range till a coon/hawk/coyote/neighbor dog gets him.

If no one claims him by Sunday, he’s going to freezer camp. I hate to kill him right off in case someone really is looking for him, but I also don’t want to have him around any longer than we can really help, so I figure Sunday is probably a good compromise.

9

Well, we had chicken pot roast a couple of nights ago, and leftover chicken last night, and my husband has been hinting VERY strongly about chicken pot pie tonight. I see no reason why a rooster couldn’t play a starring role in those dishes, as well.

My husband will tell you that he doesn’t care much for chicken. He lies.

10

There’s a great story from the Moth Radio Show about a guy who has to get rid of a rooster. I think he ends up dropping him off in someone’s yard. I couldn’t find it on their website but it’s a very funny story.

11

That’s 2 problems solved, the second being “what’s for dinner tonight”.

12

In direct response to the title question: rooster stork.

13

You know, he ain’t gonna die.

14

Well, you can’t kill the Rooster.

The rooster is going away this evening to live with a nice farm family. No, literally. Someone’s in-laws have a little hobby farm and keep a lot of chickens, and they’re going to come get him.

15

I’ve heard the term Sunday Slow-cooker Solution more than once.

16

Moving from IMHO to MPSIMS.

17

Lucky duck!

18

Perhaps your neighbors were concerned about a possible basilisk infestation. Have you noticed any 60-foot-long snakeskin shed in your yard lately?

19

You know, you gotta be careful about killin’ those durn things. It’s hard to do.

20

I suspect the chickens. Have you checked your local Grange publications for “Rooster Wanted” ads?

I’m not sure what you expect when you attempt to remove that rooster, but the chickens may well cause a scene.

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