I hope that after 104 replies, it’s not too soon to interject some humour:
Mrs May is a fictional teacher whose problems with the English Education system pop up occasionally on FB. She seems to have more than her fair share of unusual names in her class of infants as well.
On Monday, Mrs May spent her 24 hour bank holiday period undertaking 33 hours of marking and lesson planning, whilst simultaneously genning up on the latest overnight amendments those cockwombles running the DfE have made to the National Curriculum.
On Tuesday, Mrs May was required to break up a full on fight in the playground between Lucozade and Elastoplast, who were using their penises as light sabres.
On Wednesday, Mrs May received sixteen minutes’ notice that a maths inspector would be coming to inspect her teaching that day. During the maths inspector’s inspection, Ibuprofen insisted that three plus three equalled thirty-three, and -0@ (pronounced Dash-oh-ah) took a dump on all thirty of the class iPads, carefully coiling it out of him like he was icing cakes as a contestant in the Great British Bake Off.
On Thursday, no less than nine different sets of parents, none of whom had obtained a teaching qualification in their life, queued up at the end of the day to tell Mrs May why they thought her methods of teaching were ineffective, ignoring the primary issue at hand, which is that their children in a classroom setting are frequently dicks.
“I am going home to drink wine,” Mrs May announces decisively on Thursday night to Ms Smith, who is a newly qualified teacher.
“But it’s a school night,” gasps Ms Smith in horror.
“Of COURSE it is a school night,” says Mrs May. “Why do you think I need the wine?”
Ms Smith is still an NQT. [newly qualified teacher]
Ms Smith will learn.
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