Who were you in a previous life?

Yeah, I know you don’t believe in this sort of puerile stuff, and frankly, I could care less what your personal belief is regarding the afterlife in this specific thread. I want to know what character in history embodies your particular strengths or flaws, or looked like you, or shared your penchant for invading Inner Mongolia and uniting it under a banner of military dictatorship. In short, being what you are, what were you before? A crafty trilobite? A powerful mage? Cardinal Richlieu? Who must you have been in the past?

I think I must have been Marie Antoinette. I like cake. I could eat it all day. Except it’s pretty fattening and stuff.

I was Goondak, the guy who discovered chicken. Everything else tasted just like it.

According to the Hindu lady at the Subway when I asked for lettuce on my sandwich…I was a rabbit in a previous life.

I once dated this gal in high school who fancied herself a bit of a psychic. According to her, in a previous life, I was a Roman Centurian. I laughed it off at the time, but now that I think, I do share characteristics that they purportedly had. I am considered a leader, I can gain and hold the respect of my peers, and I have considerable physical stamina.

Yet, on a visit to a Chinese herbal healer (at the suggestion of my mother in law), he said I had been an ox in a previous life. Personally, I like my ex’s theory better.

Well, previous lives can’t go back infinitely. They must start somewhere.

I’m the beginning of a new line. In my next life, I’ll be someone who has better luck with women.

In a previous life I was Isaac Asimov.

Which really kind of sucked for those 18 years we were both around. Fortunately, neither of us believed in a soul so the paradox was solved.

I was you.

Although he’s not quite dead, I’d have to say Ricardo Montalban, as I’d like to be surrounded in corinthian leather.

I was the guy that danced around in the chicken suit trying to boost the sales of a failing fast food chicken franchise that went horribly awry. I still have nightmares about my past life…

I was the straw mattress king of the lower Tiber valley in the 5th century. I think my name was Eddie.

According to L. Ron Hubbard (ooooh, yeah, what a reliable source!) everyone has 7 trillion years’ worth of previous life. Of course, he also believed that a galactic warlord detonated a bunch of hydrogen bombs on Hawaii and sent all our souls floating around in the void (or something).

Not joking here. I have always had the impression of being a mountain climber who suddenly let go of the cliff face, taking my tethered companions with me. But, it could have been my imagination.

I’m not sure exactly who I was in my previous life, but I do know that I was a real asshole.

A Capricorn. Duh.

[Lucy van Pelt]

“If one falls, they all fall!”

[/Lucy van Pelt]

(With A Nod Towards George Carlin)

For the past several lifetimes, I’ve been in charge of minting souls in Buffalo. The pay stinks, the weather sucks, and the hours are lousy due to all the fuck-ups. I haven’t done a very good job since the 60’s. Kinda shows, don’t it? I guess my karma’s all blown to hell now, but what could be worse? I can only hope my next go round will be working for Tyson.

I actually did some past-life work a few Samhains ago. I got some quick glimpses… I saw a canopic jar, a painting eagle taking off, and a city with canals. I think I was a potter in Alexandria or something of the sort.

remember rocky and bullwinkle, when the parade came through and all the ladies threw confetti, and then some janitor came through and swept up all the confetti? that wuz me.

I was Shirley McClain [sp?]

Grand Duchess Olga of Russia, daughter of the last Tsar.

Or someone on the Lusitania, since I always have dreams I’m on it.