Who will play you on Straight Dope: The Motion Picture

As I was sitting and trying to think of possible ideas to submit for a feature film - I thought …

[BOLD]STRAIGHT DOPE: The Motion Picture![/BOLD]

So then I thought - who would play the dopers? Interesting thought … me … I think Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites as opposed to Ethan Hawke in Gattaca.

The former Ethan Hawke is more me …

but how about everyone else?

One day I will get the hang of the whole bolding commands and stuff …

Things similar to this have been posted, but I can’t remember a whole thread devoted to the concept… maybe I’m wrong.

Anyway, I had decided back in those other threads that Michael Richards would play me, 'cept he’d need to gain 40 lbs or so. Or wear a fat-suit.

I was all for claiming ‘dibs’ on Russel Crowe before the housemates shouted me down claiming I’m “SO Matthew Perry - Could you BE anymore Chandler?”


But Russel’s accent would be more accurate…

Well, for the coolness factor, I suppose Harvey Keitel comes close :wink:
In terms of humour and everyday behaviour, I think Jerry Seinfeld would be accurate. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not nearly as funny, but I do get into all sorts of inane discussions and debates with my friends. You know, like the “backing into a parking space is the only Right Way” debate.

When going through customs in LA once the security guy was CONVINCED that I was Ashley Judd (I wish) and kept asking me about new magazine covers etc. (no matter that he is looking at my passport seeing ANOTHER name) So in honour of that very great moment, (did a lot for my self esteem) I think Ashley Judd can play me in Straight dope - the movie.
In terms of being closer to actual character, probably Janene Garofalo.

I vote for Kate Winslet as me. Same English skin tone, same auburn-like hair, “bulky” on occasion, and (except for Titanic) very cool.

Tom Cruise. I always wanted to be played by Tom Cruise and this is the only place that is likely to happen.

Hey, no fair. I wanted Janene Garofolo to play me! But I’ll wait until the People Page is posted and let you guys decide who plays me.

Mario Lopez of Pacific Blue. Only because he’s my current object of desire, and well i want to be played by someone hot :). To look like him i’d have to gain muscle and lose weight (we got the hair color and skin tone thing down ;)), but well, it’s a movie anyway. :wink:

I strive to be worthy of being played by John Cusack, but I don’t think I’ve got i quite down yet.

Ralph the Wonder Llama

Bruce Willis…yeah Bruce Willis!

the villian from AeonFlux. so he’s a cartoon character, so what?

who else?

Easy…Samuel L. Jackson.

Except he’s a little older than I am. And much cooler. Oh yeah, and we’re not the same color.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Lili Taylor.

The only person who could play me is, well, me.

Patrick Dempsey, if he were willing to gain about 100 pounds, and grow about 6 inches taller.

Otherwise, I’d be very happy to be portrayed by John Cusack.

Joan Cusack. If you’re going to get picky on the resemblance thing…I don’t know. I don’t look like anybody. Totally forgetable, that’s me.

“Although my grandmother says that in a certain light I bear a striking resemblance to a young Elizabeth Taylor.”
–Mary Catherine Gallagher