Who would win?

John Rambo vs. Rocky Balboa

Bare knuckle boxing match to the death.

Who would win?

Easy money on Rambo. Of course, the fight would be called off when they joined forces to pummel that guy from Rhinestone.


Once in a while you can get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right…

Well, I’d go with Rocky. IIRC, Rambo always had some sort of weapon, at least a knife, but you specified bare knuckle boxing, and Rocky’s a boxer who grew up fighting in the streets (remember the end of rocky V?).

I gotta go with Surgoshan, although in order to win, I feel that Rambo would have to pummel Rocky nearly to death before the Italian Stallion staged his dramatic comeback. I do feel that it would take more to put Rambo down than it did the likes of Clubber Lang, or Apollo Creed.

Rocky, for sure, in a bare knuckle boxing match.

Open it up to a no holds barred match and I have to hand it to over to Rambo instead (observe the opening of Rambo III at the Thai fight).


“Glitch … BFG.” - Bob the Guardian

Funny, I thought Rambo would use some of his Green Beret training and just use one of the 300 methods of killing a man with his pinky finger on Rocky.

That wouldn’t be bare-knuckle fighting per se, but I’m under the impression that this wouldn’t be a refereed match (and Don King wouldn’t have anything to do with it, either…).

I’ll take those bets… I’ll even give you odds. Think about it -

Experience
Rocky: Grew up on the street, knows boxing and street fighting.
Rambo: Three words - Special Ops training. Sure he used a knife or an exploding bow when it he had it, but he took down plenty of people with his hands.

Worst Beatings
Rocky: Lang, Creed, That Russian… fifteen rounds and he was just about Jell-O.
Rambo: Professional torturers. Multiple, ongoing, asswhuppings that barely made him frown.

Training
Rocky: The Penguin yelled at him a lot, he drank raw eggs and raced some kids up a set of stairs. Chased chickens.
Rambo: Those three words again - Special Ops Training. Taught to ignore pain. Taught to kill. Taught a lot more about fighting than boxing.

Endurance
Rocky: Ready to collapse after fifteen rounds. And that was with breaks between rounds.
Rambo: Days w/o food or rest, severe wounds, continual exertion… ready for more.

Motivation
Rocky: Fights for Adrian? The Penguin? His fans?
Rambo: Honor, country, loyalty to the Colonel.

Results of past victories
Rocky: Gets soft, needs to be whipped back into shape.
Rambo: Never comes close to losing his edge.

Most Memorable Lines
Rocky: ‘Yo Adrian’
Rambo: ‘I’m comin’ fer you’ Which is more intimidating?

Greatest Theme Music
Rocky: Henry Mancini… Eye of the Tiger.
Rambo: Who needs theme music. I got my little jade pendant.

Music is Rambo’s only weakness. But it is only Rocky that he has to fight with his bare hands. Nothing is stopping him from using his exploding arrows to take out the sound system. (where the hell did he keep that thing in Rambo III?) It would even be keeping in character. After he does that, Rocky is meat. A great fight, but I can’t see Rocky walking out of there alive.

What about Jackie Chan v/s Bruce Lee? No way am I putting money down on either of them.


Once in a while you can get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right…

Have you seen Fight Club? If not, just DO NOT READ THIS.

Remember how he found out that Durdin didn’t really exist, and that everytime he fought Durdin, he was really pummeling himself? Well, since Rocky and Rambo are both the same person, they would both lose every fight between themselves. But it would look cool.

Was that before, or after, Durdin discovered he was just a computer simulation in the Matrix, so he took out his light saber and hacked Darth Maul in half?

(Man, that was a great ending! I still remember the grin on Durdin’s face when he quipped “Do you feel lucky, punk?” with the Eye of the Tiger blaring in the background.)

I hope it’s a tie.
In a duel to the death.


Armed, dangerous…
and off my medication.

Snuggles Teddy Bear vs. Pillsbury dough boy, in a fight to the death. Who would survive?


La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit.
H. de Livry

It’s pretty clear for that one, that bear scares me (I wouldn’t trust that pedophile with my kids), and the dough boy would just fold over with one light hit to the stomach.

Chan vs. Lee is trivial. Lee easily.
Although Lee never even attained the second rank in Wing Chun, he eventually became an acknowledge master of the martial arts, developed his own system (philosophy NOT technique) which is considered by most experts to be combat capable, developed his own training methods, and in his youth was involved in street fights/street gangs. Lee trained most of his career to use his combat-esqe philosophy (although near the end he remarked that he hated doing movies because it was interfering in his training, and that he was getting “weak” or “soft”).

Chan is a stunt man and a moderately good martial artist. His personal style is solely directed towards looking good on the camera (much like Ray Park aka Darth Maul from Star Wars). For most of his career Chan has practiced his style towards being a good stunt man not towards developing a good combat philosophy (mindset).

Of course, Lee is dead and Chan is alive which gives a distinct edge towards Chan, but assuming both were alive and lets say 24 years old Lee in under 60 seconds.


“Glitch … BFG.” - Bob the Guardian

An innane argument I got myself into once, and I am inspired by this thread to bring it up here:

Muhammed Ali vs. Bruce Lee.

Ali would knock his ass out. Let me justify: The punch of any heavyweight fighter packs a whallop that you and I can’t really comprehend. They have a special way of delivering punches so as to get their weight behind it and maximize the impact. And Ali was the greatest. Sure, Lee could take punsihment, but not like that. Ali would have to connect with one solid blow to the head, and it would be all over. The converse is true as well: Lee knows how to hurt people, but we all know how much punishment Ali can take. He stood there and took shots from George Forman for virtually an entire fight. Which brings me to another point: stamina. Martial Arts bouts rarely last very long. If Ali could take him past, say, two rounds, Lee would be fighting out of his element. But that’s not even important, since Lee would have to play defense for the entire fight, no matter how long it lasted. And I haven’t even mentioned the size disparity.
So come on, you Lee supporters, let’s have at it!


The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.

Sorry to burst your bubble rousseau, but Ali was a fighter specially trained to deliver punches and take punches in a certain way. Lee was specially trained to avoid and push aside all hits and deliver precise blows of his own. In boxing, there are no hits below the belt. It’s a common move in the martial arts. The boxer would go down.

Ali would never land that big head shot.

Lee was just too fast.

Ali was pretty damned fast himself. Not to mention the fact that his wingspan far exceeds Lee’s, and Lee coming inside on him would be pure suicide. As for Lee “pushing aside all hits,” that’s just plain ridiculous. That’s like suggesting that I push that bullet train out of the way. And again, to deliver any blows, Lee would have to come within the reach of Ali’s right hand, which would be disastarous.


The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.

Martial artists are also trained to step aside. In the end, I think Lee would just dance around him and then kick him in the groin. Fight over.

Oh, pshaw. Ali fought middleweights in training, and I’d wager they were quite similar in speed to Lee. Furthermore, the martial arts training I’ve seen rarely teaches one how to take a blow (Glitch, respond?).

Ali’s ability to slip punches, his greater speed, his greater strength, his ability to take a punch, and his innate fighting ability would not only defeat Lee, but (and I saw this with no reservations whatsoever) also any other martial arts master in existence. Equally trained boxers simply don’t lose to martial artists.

Unless it got down to a wrestling-type match. It’s possible that a good Judo/Jiu Jitsu-type fighter would be able to get Ali to the mat, and Ali wouldn’t be able to get as much force behind his punches.

But I’d still put the mortgage on Ali.

Ali in his prime would stomp any martial arts movie guy. These guys are in movies, remember? All their cool moves are choreographed, right? Let Ali get outside the rules of boxing and those little guys would have no chance. Hell, let Ali stay within the rules of boxing and the first left jab to the head would still put Bruce Lee down.

On the other hand, that’s what America figured in Vietnam. But then, the Americans/Australians/South Vietnamese/South Koreans never got too much outside the rules of boxing, if you catch the analogy, and I bet you do.