No way! T.J. Hooker, just so that we can hear the ugly-head-rearing evil say, “Get off the hood!”
I’d have to go with:
Shego & Kim Possible, if they are permissible. One simply cannot deny Shego’s mad skills when it comes to getting things done, and Kim is The (Wo)Man when it comes to stopping evil.
The Bride. I’m a softie, what can I say?
Sydney Bristow, very talented in the field and tough to boot.
Max Guevera. Though she’d have to drop the angst.
Willow. I gotta do it. I don’t know what je ne sais qua is, but she is chock full of it.
Debi LeCure 'cos if she can track down an evil hand that travels the country, she can track ugly-head-rearing evil.
Æon Flux. No morals. Mad skills. She & Shego will make up my Shock Team for the dirtier necesseties of fighting evil.
Finally,
Mary. There’s something about her. Evil won’t be able to resist her.
Okay, since we have rules now, and in honor of Big Bad Voodoo Lou’s all blind team, I present:
The All-Western LOEG:
Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday (Tombstone)
Gary Cooper’s Marshall Will Kane (High Noon)
Ernest Borgnine’s Dutch Engstrom (Wild Bunch)
Yul Brynner in Magnificent Seven (Can’t remember his name)
Alan Ladd’s Shane
Linda Hunt’s Stella (Silverado)
The All-Comedian LOEG
Jerry Seinfeld
Richard Pryor
Robin Williams
Janeane Garafalo
Robert Schimmel
The All-Musician LOEG (and Band)
Jack White (lead guitar, team leader)
Bootsy Collins (Bass, computer expert)
Meg White (Jack won’t join without her; drums, explosives expert)
Ben Folds (keyboards, martial arts expert)
Jeff Tweedy (guitarist, weapons expert)
The All-Movie Version of Television Shows LOEG
Ben Stiller’s Starsky
Jim Varney’s Uncle Jed (Beverly Hillbillies)
Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt (Mission: Impossible)
Dan Akroyd’s Sgt Friday
Gary Cole’s Mike Brady (Brady Bunch)
I don’t mean to criticize, Hugh, but I think your team lacks variety. You’ve got some colorful characters, but they’re basically all gunslingers. How about this instead:
Kwai Chang Caine, for martial arts expertise, laid-back Buddhist outlook on life and great kung pao chicken.
Artemus Gordon from “Wild, Wild West.” Every team needs a master of disguise and a gadget guru.
Brisco County Jr., lawyer, bounty hunter, battler of Orbs from the future. What’s not to like?
Annie Oakley. OK, so technically she’s a real person, but she has been fictionalized in novels, musicals and TV series, so I say she’s fair game. She gives the team a woman’s touch and a sharpshooter’s skills.
The Cisco Kid, any western team needs a suave, Spanish-speaking loverboy who’s good with a gun.
Dr. Miguelito Loveless. Maybe it’s cheating a bit to have a second character from “Wild, Wild West” but he’s too good to pass up. An evil, dwarf genius – just the kind of wild card this League needs to keep it from being too predictable.
So that’s the team, but what shadowy figure is manipulating our heroes to unite and tackle great dangers? Who is bank-rolling their activities? Why, the elderly but fantastically rich and powerful Don Diego de la Vega – Zorro!
I was actually thinking of all of the above as additions to a Western team, but you’re forgetting one of the icons: The Man With No Name (Clint Eastwood), from Sergio Leone’s classic spaghetti western trilogy. I’d add him as the general “lone wolf”/“badass” team member, and either Kilmer’s Doc Holliday from Tombstone or Bret Maverick as the gambler/dandy who is good in a fight.
Anyone who even remembers Brisco County, Jr. is A-OK in my book!
I agree with you about Holliday or Maverick. If the team was bigger or I was doing another one, Maverick would have made the cut.
Actually, I was thinking about doing an all-Clint version. It would include The Man with No Name, the Outlaw Josey Wales and the Pale Rider (Is he a man or a ghost? No one knows.) From there, it gets a little tricky. If we’re doing an all-western, all-Clint team you could add the High Plains Drifter (Is he a man or a ghost? No one knows.), Will Munny from “Unforgiven” and – stretching the point just a bit – Bronco Billy.
If we’re doing the all-genre, all-Clint team, then we go with the first three above and throw in astronaut Frank Corvin from “Space Cowboys,” Dirty Harry and, oh, I dunno, agent/mountain climber Jonathan Hemlock from “The Eiger Sanction.”
OK, keeping all things contemporary…I have to re-use some suggested earlier but here goes. In keeping with the original League, they should all be (at least somewhat) affiliated with one nation - the original was mostly British characters with the exception of Nemo. Mine will be Americans or characters who spent a lot of time here:
Leader: John Shaft. Let me amend that - Richard Roundtree as John Shaft. Older, wiser, somewhat burned out but still one baaaad mutha…
Members:
Duncan MacLeod - gotta have an immortal. Doesn’t hurt that he’s good in a fight and fairly articulate.
MacGuyver - resident genius/adventurer and former US Government agent.
Dana Tasker - All grown up now and an agent in the Omega Sector like her dad (and mom)…until her attitude got her fired. This is her chance to get out from under Harry Tasker’s shadow once and for all. She’s the team’s computer expert - learned everything she knows about computers from her dad’s teammate, Faisal.
Elwood Blues - forget that bad sequel - this is where Elwood wound up after Jake died. He’s still on a mission from God.
Spike - what’s the LXG without a vampire?
Dana Scully - I have to agree with everyone else on her.