I’m sorry, but my hostility isn’t gender-specific enough to imagine that those women are the same girls who wouldn’t date me in high school. I just wouldn’t get my $10,000-worth out of a naked woman glute-shoot.
However, there are some classes of people I might enjoy shotting in the butt with paintballs:
Guys who drive boom-cars. Not the most challenging prey, since they’re probably deaf as posts.
Psuedointellectual television pundits and OpEd writers (the types who used the word “caliphygian” when opining on the paintball story, squandering a college education on pop cultural twaddle)
Anyone who has ever appeared in the newspaper in formal wear at those self-congratulatory “charity functions.” You guys are just there to network and you know it.
Gansta rappers. C’mon, you’re so impressed with yourselves for glamorizing people who shoot eachother with real bullets, you wouldn’t mind if I come out to your gated community and shoot you in the ass. You can show your solidarity without absorbing solid shot.
I would like to hunt down and shoot Marnie, from the Dish Network commercials. God, how I hate her! Also on the bill of fare would be the smug eastern twat Elise from “History Dectectives”. I hate her almost as much.
But I want them to wear protective eyewear. We all want to have fun and games, all day long! 
Shove your multi-function remote up your backside!
Charlton Heston and Wayne LaPierre.
Pepper Mill says “George Bush, and Quayle on the side. I’d say Dick Cheney, too, but I’m afraid I’d kill him.”
My first thought was Bush, too.
People who love macs, pro-lifers, and those who think the new Minis are the greatest cars ever.
I have played paintball, and have played many games with my family. Good therapy; I highly recommend it.
William Shatner had organized a large paintball game not long ago; I wish I could have played that one.
How about paintball for civil disputes? Take your matter to arbitration, and either play a game or hire someone to play for you. Shades of Gladiator-at-Law.
Instead of flaming meltdowns on the board, I invite feuding Dopers to come to me; I’ll set you up in a paintball game of your choice to settle the matter of honor.
If I could play a celebrity game, one where you paid big bucks to play with or against celebrities, I’d like to be on the team with Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer in a 24-style scenario, where could watch him smoke Nina with a head shot.