But at least the wife will have some fun
Actually, The original french tale from which we get Little Red Riding Hood is a sex-moral tale. . . Something about the wolf representing the lecherous french aristocrats and the moral being about protecting ones virtue against them.
The things you learn from listening to Public Radio…
In which case the over-tones of Scylla’s tale (tail?) are very intriguing.
Scylla - I may just be dense, but was she actually intending to say wolf all along? Or did she fill the blank with the word you offered?
Hasn’t anyone seen Into the Woods? Little Red has a whole song after her wolf encounter that’s filled with innuendo (as is the encounter itself):
*Mother said straight ahead
Not to delay or be misled.
I should’ve heeded her advice,
But he seemed so nice.
And he showed me things, many beautiful things
That I hadn’t known before
They were off my path, so I never had dared.
I had been so careful, I never had cared
But he made me feel excited –
Well, excited and scared…*
etc., etc. – you get the picture. 
You’re doing “your duty in a desultory and uninspired manner”?!!! WHy that doesn’t sound like Scylla with the "testicles about to explode who is used to “six orgasms a week”.
Forget the wolf, Mrs Scylla needs a big bad lumberjack, a woodcutter to rescue the damsel in the red hood.
Is anyone else picturing this as a Tex Avery cartoon?
Well, it did just segue in my head into the Three Little Pigs cartoon with three Porky Pigs, where the wolf does that Boss Nass jowel-flapping thing (“and I’ll blowwwwwww our house down!”). From there it went into Scylla’s wife stuttering like Porky Pig, and things went downhill from that point.
Bwahahaha! What we’ll do to keep the “make a baby sex” going.
Great story, Scylla!
By the way, I AM afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, so I won’t be using that line any time soon.
Well, I’ll share a sex talk story.
Going at it with a new girlfrien awhile back. I had just read an article that women like to hear their name in bed. I figure I’d give it a try, as it was a new relationship and I was trying to impress.
We went out, went back to her place and started to go at it.
I’m in a groove, she’s got a slight moan going, we are feeling it…
Me: “Oh God, yes. Yes. Yes. Oh Lisa”
Lisa: stops moaning, picks her head up and asks matter of factly “What?”
How the hell do you respond to that?! “What do you mean “what”?! I was saying your name in the throws of passion, not trying to get your attention! I’ve got my thingy in your who-ha, I would hope I already have your attention!”
So I just continued. I completely understand Scylla. Good luck with the baby making!
That was my second favorite personal sex story, behind the “You’re face smells like crotch” story but ahead of “What, you’ll fuck me but you won’t tell me your middle name” story.
You can borrow my leather riding crop if you ever decide the two of you want to play horsie. (You’re not borrowing my cowboy boots, though.)
Several years ago I had surgery for a female problem. No sex for the Kitties for 6 weeks. About halfway through the imposed hiatus, Mr. Kitty and I went to a pagan festival. We purposly camped a bit away from other tents, knowing full well what normally goes on at these events. Apparently, however, during the night a young couple had shown up and decided to camp about three feet from us.
I’m awoken at 4:00AM by the sounds of… well, things going on. Took a few moments to figure out what the hell was happening, since I had no clue people were camped so close. About 5 minutes into it, Mr. Kitty nudges me and asks me if I’m okay (I have really bad nightmares, and he though the moaning was me). I manage to growl “Well, f*** no. Who the hell is that outside our tent???” We giggle a bit, and try to get back to sleep.
After things get to their inevitable conclusion, the male half of the couple goes to take care of nature’s call. He shows back up at the flap of the tent, whereupon they begin some bizarre rendition of the three little pigs. Complete with sound effects and references to the Big Bad Wolf that no kid’s book would allow. I put up with it for about a minute, then sat up and yelled “For Christ’s sake, just let him in the damn tent so he can f*** you and some of us can get back to sleep!”
Complete silence. ::snort:: Guess I ruined the mood.
-BK
Stick to witty observations about farm animals, recalcitrant machinery and perfidious Amish children. I love your writing Scylla but engaging erotic writing is not your forte.
Jarbaby is good at it though a little unpolished and Anthracite has posted some interesting, though overly self conscious, stuff.
You mean he didn’t want to try keeping up with the cannonfire?
:ducks and runs:
Scylla, probably just as well you’re trying for a kid, otherwise if your wife finds out you’ve posted this, you wouldn’t be getting any for months…
Good luck with the trying, by the way.
Funny story, FCM. Personally, I’ve enjoyed romantic interludes during Beethoven’s Sixth. Once you get past the Fantasia centaurs dancing through your head, it’s excellent background music for l’amour.
reading this post = my incessant giggling…teehee!
And good day to you,Scylla, Chaosopher.
I’d like to be a fly on the wall on the day Scylla has to read “Little Red Riding Hood” to his kid and do it with a straight face.
(in sing-song chant…)
*Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Big Bad Wolf, Big Bad Wolf?"
Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Fa-la-la-la-la!!*
Explain?
Gross. Some day Scylla’s kid is going to be 13, and find this thread, and be thoroughly skeeved, as I am now.