Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? (SEX)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We’ve been trying to have a kid, and the sex isn’t always magical at these times when biology calls us to perform.

After a particularly hard day at work, and neither of us in the mood at all, I’m doing my manly duty in a desultory and uninspired manner.

My wife isn’t particularly enthralled with the prospect either. Nevertheless, trooper that she is she starts moaning and moving in a fairly convincing manner in the hopes that this will bring the excitement level up high enough for me to move things to their customary conclusion.

It starts to work, and so she continues even louder and with more hyperbole.

“Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Oh Yeah!”

I respond with renewed ardor and thing proceed apace as she exclaims various encouragements with newfound enthusiasm.
And then…

"Oh Yeah! Yeah! That’s right!

OHHHHHH!
You
BIG!
BAD
UUUHHHHHH!

wolf?"

“Wolf?” I say.
“Don’t stop!”
“But you just called me a big bad wolf.”

“And you ARE” she says,

“A Big…Bad… Wolf!” and she punctuates each word with a little motion.

Ok. That works for me, I think, and try to get back into my work.

Big bad wolf? Where did that come from?

Is she wondering what great big eyes I have? What great big teeth?

More importantly, does this make her Little Red Riding Hood?

Feel free to share your moments, but let’s keep it fairly clean for the kiddies, ok?

2

No, but I’m about to huff and puff and go blow chunks now.

3

…

She didn’t by chance read your “Ewe sluts!” post, did she?

:eek:

4

Have you ever heard of TMI ?
Well you posted it. :wally

5

I wasn’t going to click on this thread until I saw the last word in the title.

now…

yuck. I’ll think twice before doing that again.

6

Did you huff and puff and blow her … house … down?

7

You are aware, I assume, of the common Freudian sexual reading of the Big Bad Wolf/Little Red Riding Hood story?

OK, neither am I, specifically, but I know there is one. It has something to do with the wolf’s elongated snout being phallic. Sorry I can’t be more specific about this, but my professor talked about it in French class–in French, I should add–and I really didn’t understand much of what she was saying. Also it was about 10 years ago.

Anyhoo, might be worth checking up on for some reason.

And by the way, I wasn’t repulsed by the OP, though I did burst out laughing at the first appearance of “wolf?”

8

You know, unless it was a timing thing “Honey, my temperature is slightly elevated!!!”, there’s no need to do it when you don’t want to.

Otoh, thanks for the laugh, you wolf you.

9

Does anyone else have Sam the Sham’s old song running through their head now?

“Here comes little miss riding hood…”

10

OK, I’ll bite.

Some years back, we were enjoying a child-free evening at home. I lit candles and dimmed lights, and my sweetie put together a stack of CDs in the changer and set it to the Random mode. He decided that rather than risk an inappropriate song that might be distracting, he’d just use all classical music. I thought it was a good idea.

Until the 1812 Overture came on.

We got terminal giggles. Mood broken. Candles out. TV on. Ah, romance…

11

Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood,
You sure are lookin’ good,
You’re everything a big, bad wolf could want…

12

I think you might be trying a little too hard. wolf? little red ridinghood? are you guys into role playing now?

13

“Why Grandma, what big Eyes you have!”

“The Better to see you with, my dear.”

“Why Grandma, what a big …”

I can’t believe no one brought this up before. They probably have too much taste.

14

*All the better to eat her with ? *

15

It’s 7:14 AM Central Daylight Time, I am at work and I am aroused.

Scylla, you just ain’t right.

Silly sex stories… hmmm… I know I have one, but I’ll hafta thaynk on it fer a bit.

16

Maybe, but remember Scylla’s talkin’ start-a-baby sex here.

17

maybe she was thinking of Jack Nicholson?

18

Or Seth Green.

Or Michael J. Fox.

19

I hope you didn’t proceed through contraceptives made of straw, sticks, and then bricks before realizing “Eh, we might as well just try to have a kid.”

20

I thought this thread was going to be about furries. Now I don’t know whether to be dissappointed or pleasantly suprised.