Actually I was thinking of the Albigensian Crusade and how it and other actions by that pope led to the foundations of the Inquisition.
The fat lady on TV who goes “Abbondanza”
Oooh I just HATE her SO much
Marquis de Sade
I was going to say Gavrilo Princip, without whom we might have been able to avoid both World Wars, but he’s too recent. Maybe his folks, Petar and Marija, instead?
Princip was just one member of a terrorist group. If he hadn’t been there, somebody else would have taken his place.
Unlikely - he was part of a terrorist plot to kill the Archduke’s car, but the plot as originally conceived had already failed. Princip had given up, and was leaving the scene when the Archduke’s driver, trying to return to the hotel, took a wrong turn and drove past him. It was utter chance that he happened to be on that particular street with a pistol when the Archduke’s car turned the corner.
More likely is that something else would have touched off the war had Ferdinand survived, but there’s a chance that the political situation in Europe might have stabilized before something set off the powder keg. Well worth the chance, if it could have prevented both World Wars.
As a side note, I was looking at Princip’s Wiki entry, and I noticed this:
How many Counts Ludwig Joseph von Boos-Waldeck are there, that they need to disambiguate that?
No. Sherman’s plan was based upon his quote, “War is Hell.” He wanted to remind his enemies of that. He actually was anticipating the thinking of 20th century military leaders.
I thought the best person to assassinate would have been John-Paul Marat, but that didn’t work out too well when I tried it.
It’s the first thing I ask when somebody mentions Count Ludwig Joseph von Boos-Waldeck: Which one are you taking about? Von B or the Wigster?
Maybe the guy who turned down Hitlers art school application?
Or the the doctor who killed his mom.
Fuck just kill Hitler and be done with it.
Automocide?
One name the group was known under was the Black Hand. You can be sure somebody else would have taken his place. They knew that by assasinating Archduke Franz Ferdinand they would precipitate World War I.
Ah yes, good old Herr Doktor Metastatic Breast Cancer.
Assuming you’re talking about Eduard Bloch, he was born in 1872, so he’s too young. Also, Hitler didn’t seem to hate him that much; he actually protected him after the Anschluss until he emigrated.
The villain Charles D. Cretors. I suppose I’d have to cut his juvenile throat, or crush his soft infant head, but I’d summon the stomach for it.
Behold, his malignant, plotting visage. “Oh, wait, good sir! I see you are intent upon entering the nickelodeon! Don’t go in without a crisp, crunchy snack in a stiff paper bag! Only three cents to you, sir!”
Scum. His empire was built on the most foul of annoyances.
Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Confucious. Moses… I’m going to need some studying up to make a list of all the inspirers of religious faith.
The biggest problem I see is that if I appear throughout history doing these killings, people might make me into a God.
[obligatory killjoy “I really wouldn’t want to risk assassinating anyone via time travel, especially too far back in the past, as it would certainly destroy everything I know in my present time, probably for the worst, including everyone and everything I ever loved, etc. etc. etc.” Now that that’s outta the way…]
Two come to mind…the first, Anthony Comstock, noted censor and moralist, and born in the right timeframe. Claimed he drove fifteen people to suicide in the name of public decency. Curiously, apparently “in later years his health was affected by a severe blow to the head from an anonymous attacker.” So I may not have been the first person with this idea…or maybe I was/will be.
After him, maybe…Mary Jane Kelly (aka “Marie Jeanette Kelly,” among many other aliases), the rabble rousing demagogue for the Hibernian Fascist League. Sure, the party’s “Dear Boss” died as WWII was ramping up anyway, and arguably can’t be blamed for the worst excesses of Ireland during the war, but even the worst apologist can’t absolve her for her part in pushing the country into the Axis.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference at all—maybe someone else would have taken her place, the war still reaches that far west, and the two hundred thousand in the Cath Dédenach would’ve still died in the streets and the camps. Maybe she’d at least be replaced by someone less competent, and some of the horror could be prevented, or at least the fighting stopped sooner—maybe all that would do is result in one less A-bomb memorial in South Ireland today.
Just maybe it’d work beyond my wildest hopes, and cut off one hydra’s head of evil at the source—one less satellite for Hitler; no SS Brian Boru; none of my mother’s family having to leave behind their surname so they could “pass” enough to get work, after getting out of Manzanar; maybe we would have had one more ally coming ashore at Juno or Sword in '45, and the foundations for a peace in the British isles that wasn’t based cold death, shame, and final conquest, but of magnanimity, friendship, and cooperation against a common foe.
But maybe that all just means Jack—and all that matters is that that bloodstained old harlot ends up like all those faceless dead from the hell that she helped bring about. It couldn’t happen to a niser person.
Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus; preferably at the council of Nicea where I will be using my lightsaber to bring the house down on the lot of them.
As I have told you before, the Council of Eternity has determined that Marat’s destiny may not be altered for any reason, up to and including saving the Earth from obliteration. Every time you kill him it will be undone, and repeated efforts will be met with … well, you really don’t want to know.
While I certainly agree that the pre-emptive revocation of some individual’s oxygen permits would be an excellent idea, allow me to point out that with the tools available we can accomplish this without actually killin anyone.
Just locate the fathers a year before the target’s birthdate and impose upon them involuntary vascectomies.
This neatly sidesteps any squeamishness of actually killing someone. Either the killing in general or for a specific reason such as the ultimate target being female or child.
HA! No way I’m telling who’s on my list! This is all just a scam so Skald can go back and foil the assassination. I’M ON TO YOU, RHYMER!
Wouldn’t you be better offing Kaiser Wilhelm II rather than a couple of blundering Black Hand assassins such as Princip? He was born in 1859 so he makes it. Germany had been militaristic but under control with Bismark pulling the strings.
Bismark couldn’t live for ever of course, but Wilhelm had ambitions and enough idiocy to ensure war was more or less inevitable. Austria would never have gone to war against Serbia without Germany’s blank cheque.