Who's right here?

So, we bought a new house and are in the process of gutting the kitchen.

The old kitchen had ~25-30 feet of oak cabinetry, including a 6’ x 4’ island. brand new granite counter tops that they’d installed after hearing prospective buyer feedback, extra tall upper cabinets (to fit a 9’ ceiling), base cabinets with a built-in brand new sink and faucet, built-in double oven, built-in electric cook top, dishwasher, and fridge.

Since we wouldn’t be using anything in the new kitchen except the dishwasher and fridge, I posted a few photos of the kitchen on FB and asked if anybody knew a charity that would take the old stuff. Caveat was that I needed them to pick it up, because we don’t have a truck, the stuff is heavy, and my husband’s back is already screwed up.

Within a few minutes of posting it (where I got 3 suggestions for charities that would pick it up), my brother’s nephew’s wife IMd me and asked me if they could please, please, please buy it all off of us. Her husband is a handyman who’s done work for us in the past, and we spend a lot of holidays together, so I know them well. I said that they could just take it, perhaps in exchange for a few odd jobs around the house, such as installing cabinets in our laundry room.

She was thrilled. I told her that I needed to have it all out of our house by the following weekend because once the demo was complete, we’d have contractors in and out all the time. I told her that everything would be in the garage, except the the 6’ slab of granite, which they couldn’t move because it was so heavy. I warned her that he’d have to bring a least 3 friends to pick it up.

So that weekend he and my brother show up. They haul off all the cabinets, but leave the 5 pieces of granite…because the granite was too heavy to move with two guys. Sigh. My brother informed me that they’d come back the next Tuesday to get it, and could my husband meet them there and help them move it? Sigh. Oh, and BTW some of the cabinets were damaged during the removal and B would have to repair them. Oh, and worse, the longest piece of granite that encased the sink was broken into two.

What was I to say? I told him sorry, our contractor knew we wanted to save it, but I guess they weren’t as careful as we’d hoped.

Fast forward to today. I went to the house today to meet the painter…and discover that the granite is still there, including the 6’ slab in the middle of the kitchen. The painters and electricians and plumbers have worked around it, but the hardwood guy is coming on Monday, and he can’t do his job with a big rock in the middle of the kitchen.

So I sent a text to my brother (because I don’t have B’s cell #) and asked him what was up with his nephew.

Here’s the response he gave me:

“I just talked to B. He’s out of town but will be by this weekend to get the granite. FYI, he only wants the island slab now because the sink piece is broken, which makes the other pieces useless to him.”


So, before I respond, I ask you: What would you do now? FTR, B is a hardworking father of 2 in his 20s. They don’t have a lot of money.

Tell him that doesn’t work, since you need it out of there now. Maybe he can send someone to come and get it.
You can probably negotiate with the painters or whoever is around to move it outside to get it out of the way. Offer them money if you must. Sure, you shouldn’t have to, but when it comes to family, what can you do?
Oh, and tell them your husband absolutely will not be helping them move anything. The young guy needs to bring some friends or bribe a worker to help out.

I think I’d tell them that you appreciated the offer to pay for the cabinets or to do odd jobs; if they’ll get all the granite out of there before your workers come in, you’ll consider them squared away. Yeah, it’s not as good a deal as they’d offered at first, but the apparent compromise might preserve family peace.

If they can’t do that, I’d go ahead and pay to get the job done, knowing that you’re in the right here.

I hate it when stuff like this happens; you try to do someone else a favour, and they end up taking advantage or taking too long or just not meeting stated or implicit conditions, and next thing you know, you’re about to get all bitchy on their ass because they just won’t do what they agreed to do.

What AnaMen said - he needs to get it out NOW, just like the deal was when you made it. If the granite isn’t out by Sunday, tell them it’s coming out in pieces this weekend and they’ll lose out then.

I have to admit that I never thought of busting the stuff into pieces. I guess that’s an option, though I was really hoping to give it to someone who could use it.

BTW, there are only 2 painters. Paying them won’t work because it’s too heavy.

My husband has now told me that he’ll find a way to get it out of the kitchen by Monday, even if he has to move it inch by inch. Great.

Actually, your best bet may be to go through the brother’s nephew’s wife, since she’s the one who was so gung-ho in the first place. Perhaps the prospect of losing out on the counters will get her to con some other muscle into helping.

Craigslist? If you’re just giving it away post it on the free section.

You let them know what they’d have to do to get the piece in one piece - if it has to come out in pieces to get the floor done, well, that’s too bad, but it’s what they chose.

Maybe you need to stop by some kind of Cash Corner in your local area - where you can pick up a few able guys for a short-term project.

How about just calling a shop that deals in granite countertops? They will have the equipment and experience to move the pieces. And they may be able to use the broken piece, by cleaning up the break and turning it into two separate pieces. Maybe they’ll remove the granite in exchange for the right to use it however they see fit.

I have to confess that my German temper got the better of me and I didn’t wait to hear answers before texting back: “Tell B to forget it. The whole point of giving it away was to get it out of our house. Now I’ve given it away AND still have to pay someone to haul off the stuff that B doesn’t want.”

Then I started feeling guilty because B is a nice guy. I do see his POV that he doesn’t want the other pieces because they’re useless to him. But it wasn’t my fault that the granite was busted. I still offered it up to him with the best of intentions. Had he or anyone, at any point, said that they just wanted a few cabinets or one of the pieces of granite, I would have told them no, that it was an all or nothing deal. I just want it gone so that my husband doesn’t have to break his back moving it himself.

I’ve always known it’s an option. But I’ve posted free items before and have regretted it because people wouldn’t stop calling me, long after I’d already unloaded the item.

So you are in no worse condition than before, right?

Don’t give your phone number out, use a throwaway email address. Only give your phone to the person coming to pick it up. Delete the post once it’s gone.

Much better than your husband moving it.

This is my humble opinion… NO, your husband cannot help them move it. They said they would have it out by a certain day, and you told them it was heavy and to bring more people. They didn’t listen, and there is no reason for your husband to risk hurting himself because of their poor planning. That is what you were trying to avoid.

Ok, so B is a nice guy, a hardworking father of 2 in his 20s, with not a lot of money. Let’s say, for all intents and purposes, today is Friday. (As late as it is, nothing will get done 'til Friday, anyway.) Tell them they have 'til noon on Saturday to come and get what they will, and whatever is left will be gotten rid of after noon Saturday, to whichever person shows up first to take it. Try a granite countertop shop first, then Craigslist, and if nothing else works, take a BIG hammer and whack hell out of it!! (You’ll probably be mad by then, put that German temper to work, and burn off that steam! :D)
Maybe you can use the chunks to outline a flower bed!! (New house, new landscaping! :))

Why aren’t you mad at the contractor instead? You told them to preserve the materials, they did not. Now you expect “B”, who is paying for the old kitchen via work, to take something that is not only useless but extremely heavy and bulky as well? When I buy something, whether with with cash or barter, I expect it to be useable. The contractor broke it, he gets to dispose of it.

I agree with Doctor Jackson. B is under no obligation to take away the broken slabs much less “pay” for them in the form of work on your house.

I’d tell B he’s got 8-12 hours to get everything out of the house or it’s going away. When that fails, post it on Craigslist as first-come-first-serve and it’ll be gone in no time. I have an email account I use only for Craigslist, delete the ad when you’ve completed the mission. Done and done.

You’ve been way more flexible than I would have been. You were clear at the start. I would have been searching for someone to take the granite before they made it to the end of the driveway with the cabinets.

Maybe ask any of the people working on your house if they want it for free?

Do you have a Habitat ReStore in your area? They’ll take broken things, and will often come and pick them up. You can get a nice tax deduction too if you’re interested.

Yeah, you’ve been much more patient than they have any reason to expect. I’d just get it out of your house and write off your brother’s nephew from a) ever picking it up, or b) ever doing the work he promised to do.

What were you going to do with the granite if nobody had wanted it? Guess it’s time to do that.