You know, the OP could be the one with the wrong impression here.He says its the only kind of seat that his mother can use, but doesn’t say why he thinks it’s reserved for handcapped people rather than their companions. As in said ,in my experience, there is not handicapped seating- there is wheelchair seating. In the stadiums I’ve been to with similar seating ( seats with gaps for wheelchairs) the seats are sold in combination with wheelchair tickets , and there is generally is a limit to the number of comapnion tickets sold per wheelchair ticket. I still am wondering, (and now I am asking ) what sort of disability requires the OP’s mother to sit in a seat capable of having the arms raised but doesn’t require her to use a wheelchair.I’m starting to think she is just too large for the regular seats. Oh, and I’d move away from the seat next to my father’s wheelchair if someone asked politely and agreed to hold his cup so he could drink, feed him snacks and wipe his nose as it constantly runs. Because he can’t do those things for himself.
So if you can’t think of any sort of disability other than being too large, that disability doesn’t exist? There are people who claim to be able to tell whether someone is disabled enough to require a handicapped parking spot by sight.
I’m willing to bet that Mom has mobility issues. Maybe she can’t maneuver very well, and needs to have that arm lifted so that she can sit more easily. Maybe she needs to have an oxygen tank next to her, and has to raise the arm so that she can accommodate the tank and hose. She could need to raise that arm for any number of reasons. I don’t know, and neither do you.
All certainly true, but how do we know the guy with his wheel chair bound friend wasn’t also handicapped in some way himself then?
If he was handicapped he had every right to the seat.
That’s right, I don’t know, and until and unless someone chooses to educate me I won’t. Just like the OP doesn’t know what issues the person in the wheelchair might have that require his companion to stay right next to him or even that the “young,healthy guy” doesn’t also need a seat capable of raising the arm. I’d be willing to bet that when the average person sees someone in a wheelchair, it doesn’t occur to them that that person may not have any real use of their hands or arms. I don’t expect them to know. But if they want me to leave my seat next to the wheelchair, sorry, they are going to have to convince me that they need the seat more than the person in the wheelchair needs me next to them. Or they can let the manager make the call. The OP doesn’t say he explained his mother’s disability to the “young, healthy guy”. He doesn’t explain it to us, so we can’t even say “It couldn’t be more obvious that she needed the seat”. We’ve got OP’s mother, who may need the seat for some obvious reason or may need it for some non-obvious reason, and the “young, healthy guy” who may or may not have needed the seat for his own, non-obvious disability or to provide necessary care to his friend in the wheelchair. We can’t possibly know who was more entitled to the seat without more information, and it’s entirely possible that the OP himself doesn’t have enough information.
Yes, the “young, healthy (looking) guy” might very well need that seat either to assist his friend, or because he has a non-obvious need for it. However, in my experience, many able-bodied people are very willing to use handicapped accommodations even if they don’t need them. The only reason that handicapped parking spots are not used by able bodied people is because anyone parking there without the proper hangtag or plate will get ticketed, and have to pay a big fine. Before these laws were enacted, a lot of limber jerks parked in those spaces, and would not be shamed out of the practice.
Maybe that guy had a real need. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like moving. Based on my experience, I’m willing to bet that he didn’t feel like moving.
I can think of a few disabilities that would require a seat with a fold-down arm - mostly to do with the person’s own arms. It might just be obesity, true, but some types of obesity are classified as disabilities.
BTW, I did suggest moving to the seat on the other side, not miles away. Unless you also have a disability, you could help your father from the other side just as well.
If the OP’s wrong about that seat being a specially designated seat, well, then the bloke was right not to move. But why assume she’s wrong about the cinema she goes to, when we don’t go to it?
Truth be told, on re-reading the OP it doesn’t sound like the guy specifically said he was staying there because of his friend rather than for other reasons. I have a non-visible disability myself, and really hate having to explain it, so I can understand him not necessarily explaining why he didn’t want to move. I was under the impression that he told the OP he couldn’t move because of his friend, not because of himself. Perhaps the OP can clarify.
But in this situation, that would mean moving several seats away- what if you needed to be right next to your friend to help them and not 3 seats to the right?
Some points of clarification here,
My mother is large, yes, but not so much that she wouldn’t fit in a normal seat. Her main problem is with her hip and knee that make it pretty much impossible to sit normally. She needs the lifting arm so that she can sit kind of 1/2 sidesaddle, if you can picture that. This isn’t something where she’s just more comfortable in a larger seat and feels entitled, if that were the case she would have just sucked it up and sat in one of the available normal seats and we wouldn’t be having this discussion.
She has an electric scooter chair that she uses at home and another at work, but we have no practical way of transporting one so on the rare occasions we go out she walks–albeit slowly and haltingly.
As for what the man who wouldn’t move knew–I specifically told him my mom needed a handicapped seat and asked him if he’d mind moving. Initially, I thought he was with the girl on the other side of him and they’d both have to move but he motioned to his friend and said “we’re together”. I apologized, then pointed out an empty chair only 3 seats down, explaining my mom would have to leave otherwise but he just shrugged, gave a pretty insincere sounding “sorry” and turned away.
The chair he was in did have the handicapped symbol on the ends of the arms–which I had pointed out to him–so it was not there simply for companions, and his friend was eating popcorn so I don’t think there was an issue with him needing helping arms. I could be mistaken there, of course, it wouldn’t be the first time.
That’s about all the details I can add I think. It was a 30 second encounter and no medical charts were exchanged, so of course there is the slight chance that he had some non-obvious disability that meant he physically couldn’t sit elsewhere but he gave me no indication that that was the case.
belladonna-
This is simple. The guy was wrong. Your mom was entitled to the designated handicapped seat. It sure appears that he was not.
Never mind – question answered.
(Still, you should have gone to a manager. THAT was wrong on your part.)
Check post #49–
I’m not assuming the OP was wrong. I’m just not assuming she was correct. I have no idea if she was right or wrong about anything- from the designation of the seats to the healthiness of the guy who wouldn’t move. Which means I can’t tell who was right in this situation without more information. Some of which the OP probably doesn’t have - like whether that healthy looking guy had a non-obvious disability.
(Psst- post #49- the seat had handicapped symbols on it)
Yeah, I saw that after I hit submit instead of preview. Healthy guy should have moved. OP should have gone to the manager- who perhaps could have satisfied everyone somehow.
I agree. Let the manager fix it, rather than being mad.
It sounded to me like he’d only need to move to a seat on the other side.
Thanks, that clarifies it.
He should have moved. He was an arsehole not to.
Really, in my opinion, the OP or the OP’s mother should have gone to the manager not because the manager would have made everything ok or would have made the apparently healthy young man move, but because the manager should be made aware that the amount of handicap accessible seating is inadequate for situations in which the theater is mostly full.
Maybe the manager would have made the young man move, maybe the manager would have offered vouchers or free popcorn coupons for a later visit. Maybe the manager would have said “sucks to be you”–in which case you could tell your whole family to start a boycott of the theater.
But since no one spoke to the manager, we are left with an unsatisfactory outcome for one person, and a lot of recreational outrage at a person who may simply have felt unwilling to play the “my disability is worse than yours is” game.
In the end, there are laws for handicapped accessibility. Other than for parking, there are no laws for who can occupy those facilities. It’s a tough world, and some people are pricks. I can’t claim to know who is or who isn’t a prick in this case, but if no laws are broken, then there’s no legitimate complaint.
In which case, he should have said ‘I need this seat too, sorry,’ or something indicating that he was in that seat because he had a disability, rather than because his friend was sitting nearby.
They probably should have gone to the manager, but there was only a tiny window of opportunity to do that - and it sounds like the OP’s Mum was, understandably, unwilling to play the ‘my disability is worse than this bloke who says he needs to be near his friend’s requirement’ too.
At best, some people on here might be a little more aware of the availabilty of seating for people with disabilities, or more willing to speak up for themselves if they find themselves shoved out of a seat by someone who doesn’t give a good reason for it.
As much as I do dislike stating what my disability is and why I need to, say, take the lift rather than the stairs, I prefer that to not being able to use those facilities because they’re full of people who don’t require them for anything other than personal preference. If I were sitting in a seat that was designated for disabled patrons, and someone asked me about it, I’d explain why I needed it.