This sounds a lot like my assistant (I say “mine” - I inherited her when I took the job, I personally would never have hired her), who’s the touchiest, most miserable woman I’ve had the misfortune to meet. Far from being on thin ice, the Head of Department seems to think it’s out job to tip-toe around her and not upset her: “She’s very sensitive”, “She needs careful handling”, etc. No, what she needs is a warning to improve her attitude or start looking for another job.
It’s a shame, because this is a great company to work for, and there are plenty of very good people who would love her job - I’m having to let go of a brilliant temp soon because we can’t afford two admins and there isn’t a vacancy. I’ve only worked here about 3 months, so I think once I’m better establised I’ll see about trying to manage her out.
No stompies, slammies, or snippies. But I once worked at a place with whistler. In a 5000 square foot building with absolutely no sound deadening provisions. Everyone knew when he was in his office.
We have Sneezy in our office. He’s one of those who when they feel a sneeze coming on, make as big and loud a production of the sneeze as they possibly can.
Whenever he rips off a huge sneeze, I exclaim “Oh my god, what was that!” and jump up to see if he’s injured himself.
His sneeze level is reduced to manageable levels after this response, at least for the rest of the day.
We have a Chompy, about whom I’ve posted before. He is never seen without a big wad of chewing gum in his jaw. He’s also the oldest person working here, and is a wealthy attorney who merged with our firm years ago. He was the boss and senior partner of his old firm, and is set in his ways of prehistoric behavior. That means constantly making sex or race jokes, despite several classes in sexual harassment and diversity training. I always dodge if I know he’s coming down the hallway to avoid the old creep.
And I always know he’s coming! Why? Because he chomps gum loudly while breathing with his mouth open, and you can hear him all the way across the office. Thanks, Chompy, for the warning!
ETA: This thread is starting to sound like The Seven Obnoxious Office Dwarves.
We don’t have anyone like that, but I have known people in the past whom I am convinced used unpleasantness as a deliberate tactic to avoid work. Any time anyone interacted with these people socially, everything was fine and pleasant. But as soon as the person perceived that someone wanted them to take on a task, there was a truculent pursing of lips, followed by a defensive wall of questions designed to trick the task-giver into going off to do further research, and blame-placing with an attitude of suppressed anger apparently intended to simply deter anyone from wanting to approach with a task in the future.
We also have a Whiny. Whenever I transfer a call to her, I’m careful not to connect her to the client until she has completed the moan of despair she gives at the thought of actually doing work.
Stompy, Punchy, Eeyore, Shouty, Quaker, Slammy, Burpy, Snippy, Brayer, Whistler, Sneezy, Chompy, and Whiny. That’s thirteen, so it’s a full coven of office idiots.
Can you deal with him through emails? Like I have important meetings all day can you leave me the cartridge in “such and such” place. I’ll leave the receipt there for you to swap out.
I found when people go on rants, it’s easier to say, “I hear what you saying, man it’s awful ain’t it, but I gotta get back now, can I have <insert what you need here>”
If you want to get more aggressive call people on their behaviour. If someone says "Ink cartridges are wasteful, you can say, “I agree but since the company pays for it, and you don’t like that, it’s probably better to take it up with someone who can actually DO something to change the policy. Anyway, I need my reimbursment now.”
It’s not major violence, just “repetitive stress” damage to the door. Since he doesn’t close the door, the flings it roughly, the heavy door rattles in the frame. They’ve replaced the hinges umpteen times already, so between the bigger and bigger and bigger screws chewing it up as the hinges get replaced, and the door bouncing aorund in the frame, the frame is chewed up. The molding is coming off etc. He’s actually a 98 lb weakling kind of guy, despite the stompiness.
I wish. Unfortunately, I can’t always. For example, a solution provider that I deal with regularly hasn’t been paid. He invoiced us end of September. Email produce no response so then I have to go ask about it. Then I get the long-winded rant about how the solution provider is an idiot and a terrible accountant. “Just look at this invoice. He’s always behind! It’s supposed to be itemized! Where’s November and December???”
Me: “Well, when he invoiced us in September, Nov. and Dec. hadn’t happened yet…”
No, we don’t have one of those, thank God. We do have one guy who talks really loudly, especially when he’s on the phone berating his wife. And he doesn’t seem to want to abide by the rules: he was changing clothes in a coworker’s area when she walked in on him. I heard the whole thing.
Combine these two and you have my Grumpo Grouch. She was a school teacher, but she retired from teaching and came to work here. She’ll grouch about everything: relieving the switchboard is the worst, and it’s her number one job description. Our poor main receptionist would rather sit up there herself than call her up.
She’ll tell everybody everything she hears. I had the misfortune to share an office with her, and I couldn’t have private conversations with anyone when she was in there: we had to go outside. Everything is her business.
She also sneezes and coughs without covering her nose and mouth. She came in sick once and gave me the flu. I took it home. My daughter was out of school for a solid week, and we were out $80 for a round of TamiFlu.
The best thing they’ve done for me was split us up. Now I avoid her whenever possible.
Oh, you’re right. Sorry. He does, but not like “RAHR! Smash!” more like “I’m too lazy to turn the knob, but if I use my foot and kick it, it will fly open or closed, like magic! Plus, I’m in a bad mood and this is loud enough to disturb everybody.”
I’m so used to seeing the way he kicks doors closed that it didn’t really occur to me that it would conjur the image of the “RAAAHHR!” kind of door kicking.
He uses his knees to fling cupboard doors closed in the kitchen area too. Basically, he is incapable of respecting objects. He doesn’t “place” objects onto a shelf. He “tosses” them. He doesn’t “open” drawers, he “yanks”. He doesn’t “close” doors, he “kicks” them.
I used to work with a couple of Sneezies & a Hungry. One of the Sneezies is still here.
20-ish to 30-ish women working in a mostly man-oriented business. Sneezy didn’t just sneeze. She would “choo! choo! choo! choo! CHOO!” with the last one being a grand finale. They’re all high-pitched efforts at being cute. Not a normal sneeze. I hate that.
The very worst Sneezy is no longer here, but she also doubled as Hungry. She’d start work at 7:00a, and “I am SO hungry” would start at 7:02. “What should we do for lunch? I’m STARVING” would start about 8a. I heard later that some co-workers would actually make bets among themselves about what time the lunch discussion would start each day. She was in a constant state of dieting or exercising to lose weight, and we’d hear about her various diet plans or home exercise equipment, along with all of the excuses why she was making an exception just for today to avoid them. Even when she was actively on a Nutrisystem program, the program food was somehow just a snack in between the dining out. :rolleyes:
The funny thing was that she wasn’t really overweight. Maybe a few pounds here & there if you want to be picky, but she was normal.
Honestly, if you anonymously put a Kit Kat on his desk, his reaction would probably be more along the lines of what you’d expect if you’d left a turd on his keyboard. “What about a $100 bill?” you may ask optimistically. He would gripe endlessly that you just created work for him because now he has to go to the bank and deposit it.