[Abe Simpson]
“Maaaaaattttlllock”
[/Abe Simpson]
If he were unavailable, I’d go for some of that sweet, sweet Claire Kincaid lovin’.
Look, if Pendleton and Bayliss are slapping me around in the box, it means I did it. It’s only a matter of time before Frank’s brooding mindgames and/or Bayliss’ boyish sexual ambiguity compel me to reveal the truth.
If it were Kellerman and the chunky Baldwin, however, I’ll be going with the hyperchicken lawyer from Futurama.
Mine is Abraham Lincoln Jones from The Law and Mr. Jones starring James Whitmore as the title character. James Whitmore could out-lawyer anyone. Good show. Well written. Years ahead of its time,
or
Danny O’Brien from Trials of O’Brien starring Peter Falk as the tough-guy lawyer title character. It was great fun. Once again, years ahead of its time.
TV
Claire Huxtable. She is scary in Lawyer Mode.
Of course, if we can expand to movies, I want Fred Gailey from Miracle on 34th Street.
[hijack]
I never understood how she became a lawyer in the show. When she first appeared wasn’t she a mousy secretary who hired the firm to sue someone? Anyone have an answer?
[/hijack]
Samuel Cogley.
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. His defense never fails and who can resist his caveman-ish charm?
I agree that I’d be guilty & I’d get the lawyer Stephen Root played on Roseanne. “Not-not-not good in court”
Clearly you want the JAG lawyers if you not guilty. Nobody who is not guilty ever goes to jail on that show. If you are guilty go for the lawyers on The Practice. Nobody guilty ever goes to jail on that show.
Joe Garelli, the engineer from NewsRadio. Because he knows to just say “tubalcane” to the judge if you think you’re going to lose the case. Hey, it worked before.
BTW, according to an old promo on WTBS for Perry Mason, Perry only ever lost three cases during the run of the show.
I WOULDN’T want Perry Mason if I were guilty. IIRC, one of his losses, he put his client on the stand (because he found out they were guilty) and “Crossed” them into confessing. Talk about ineffective assistance of counsel. Lets disbar the guy!
I agree with Vibrotronica, but not for the reasons you might think.
The problem with picking a TV lawyer is that you don’t get to pick a TV judge, right? So, how well do you think any of these jokers will do in a real courtroom? From what I’ve heard, McCoy’s Question-‘Objection’-‘Withdrawn’ might work once in a real courtroom. The advantage of Harvey Birdman, of course, is that he’s a cartoon - he can’t end up in front of a real judge!
“I can no longer… enlarge”.
Riboflavin,
I agree. I’d also want a TV opposing counsel. You know, the kind that ONLY objects when my TV lawyer could say “Withdrawn” to make a point.
Otherwise, my lawyer couldn’t make long speeches instead of questions or get up in the witness’s face instead of being confined to the podium.