If I told my wife it was her responsibility I believe she’d just tell me to do my own damn laundry.
And I think the OP’s wife should’ve said the same thing, after it happened the 2nd time.
The wearer’s. Your pockets, your responsibility.
Or you can do your own laundry.
I think the launderer, upon finding chapstick in the pocket multiple times, should cut out said pockets with scissors.
But seriously, doing laundry for just two people, double-checking the pockets is no biggie. Throw some kids into the mix and it gets to be a pain in the ass.
The launderer has the final responsibility…but the launderer also gets to keep any money found.
Agreed with the added note that the launderer may not find it even if they double check. The guy’s wallet ended up very clean because I double-checked the hip pockets, where I keep things, and not the ass pockets, where I never keep things because they are damn annoying to sit on. I also don’t keep things like keys and wallets in pockets once I walk in the front door – they immediately go on the end table so as not to get lost.
Since the pants-wearer knows what pockets he keeps which items in, he’s primarily responsible. I do double check, but if I’m looking for tissues in the hip pocket, I probably won’t find a chapstick in the ass pocket.
Once one person is aware the other person is not checking the pockets, why can’t the responsibility be assumed by both people since both will either gain or lose due to their actions or lack thereof. The two of you are sharing your lives together so compromise and share responsibility.
assume you’re both the launderer and the wearer. would you rather check for items while you have the pants on or hunt for them amidst a pile of dirty laundry?
Yes. In the basket means “this can go straight into the machine without doing anything else”. That means that any seams are mended (so they don’t rip any further during their ride through the washer and dryer), all jewelry is removed, and all pockets are emptied.
If someone is doing your laundry for you, be grateful and make the chore easy for him/her. Unless you prefer to do your own laundry.
Empty your pockets when you get home!! Why on earth are you leaving stuff in your pockets and then putting the pants in the laundry basket??! Are you assuming that your pants, whilst in the laundry basket, might have the urge to moisturise?
ALL of the above!
In my household, it’s done like this:
– The wearer of a garment WILL empty pockets when putting said garment into the laundry bin (a cardboard box, actually, in this household).
– Just in case that ever fails, the person doing the wash WILL sort through the laundry (while still in the apartment) before taking it down to the laundry room, checking all pockets for stray content.
– And just in case THAT ever fails, the person doing the wash WILL check all pockets again in the laundry room, garment by garment, while loading same into washer.
(And even then, it’s been known to fail on rare occasions, usually with facial tissue in shirt pocket, which tends to make rather a mess, but doesn’t do any damage at least.)
[sub](Oh, and to avoid squabbles, let me add that it helps that I live alone here, and am thus myself ALL of the people mentioned above.)[/sub]
[sub]Share responsibility? We don’t share no steenkin’ responsibility here! :eek: [/sub]
My boat, my rules. If I’m doing the laundry I can ask the person I’m doing it for to stand up-side-down next to me humming Jerusalem.
Keep in mind we have separate laundry bins and I typically do my own laundry. Sometimes she will grab mine and throw it in with hers as a favor. I check my pockets at laundry time and always have.
I think the solution here is clear. She needs to stop doing your laundry. If she is really just doing this as a quick favor and a way to fill out her own to a full load, this will be easy. She just starts doing half loads and you check your own pockets as needed.
However, if the reason she is doing it is that your laundry tends to overflow the hamper and starts to smell funny, it’s going to be more complicated. If that’s the case, it hasn’t really been just a favor, it’s also been because she feels it needs to be done and you are not willing to do it. And if it’s invading her living space, she’s got a point.
I think I mentioned this in the op but incase it was missed we have separate laundry bins and I normally do my own laundry. She just does it as a favor sometimes when she’s doing hers.
The wearer, but a double check is always useful.
Sorry for the pseudo double post. Stupid taptalk locked on me.
Yup.
Any laundry that’s in the basket/“launder me” area should have been cleared already. The launderer should check as a backup but isn’t required to.
The only things I occasionally leave in my pockets are spare change and maybe a receipt from the grocery store. Anything else gets cleared when I get home.
OK, that makes more sense.
My answer comes in two parts. The first is, when you’re doing your own laundry, do you actually check the pockets as you put things in the washer, or do you just tell yourself you will but periodically forget? If you do, that’s fine, but if not, you should probably decide to bite the bullet, admit it’s not working, and religiously check pockets before putting stuff in the hamper. I totally fail at this, but it’s not actually that hard, so is fairly easy if you make it a new habit.
The second is, assuming that you do check your own laundry when you put it in the washer, either way is fine, it’s not a matter of “one of you is right and one of you is stupid”. It’s like driving on the left or driving on the right – either is completely fine, but a country has to pick one and stick to it, and it’s easier if neighbouring countries do the same.
You have three options:
- Don’t do anything and hope that you don’t ruin clothes and get cross with each other too often.
- Don’t do each others’ laundry.
- You change your habit and check pockets before putting stuff in the laundry hamper.
Either 2 or 3 is fine, so talk to your wife, recognise that it’s neither of your fault, but living together means making these sorts of small changes, pick one, and stick to it 
The wearer, always. If you get into the habit of emptying your pockets when the pants come off, it won’t b e a problem.
That’s the rule in our house, and if something gets ruined, then it shouldn’t have been in the pocket. Though I stopped following that rule when I do laundry once an entire full load of white clothes was ruined by a black ink pen bursting in the dryer.