Why are educated people more likely to be married, and vice-versa?

[Shodan]

@MichaelEmouse

When US conservatives talk about the important of being married, do they mean stable monogamous long term relationships or only relationships formalized by a marriage contract/ceremony?

Most stable monogamous long term relationships are marriages, so it is typically a distinction without a difference. Most cohabitating relationships are short-term, and either break up or turn into marriage. (Cite.). This is for the US, but cohabitation is typically not long-term in the UK as well. (Cite.).

Regards,
Shodan

[even_sven]

Do you guys have any evidence for this “educated women can’t find mates” theory? I’m pretty close to my mostly-female grad school cohort, and three years after graduation, nearly all of us are married or engaged.

Even if it is true, why wouldn’t this be something that works itself out? Having hordes of well educated women is a fairly recent phenomena, and like all social changes it is likely to work itself out eventually.

[Wesley_Clark]

@even_sven

Do you guys have any evidence for this “educated women can’t find mates” theory? I’m pretty close to my mostly-female grad school cohort, and three years after graduation, nearly all of us are married or engaged.

Even if it is true, why wouldn’t this be something that works itself out? Having hordes of well educated women is a fairly recent phenomena, and like all social changes it is likely to work itself out eventually.

I am going off of articles I’ve read and testimonials from women I’ve known in person and online.

I did find this. It shows women prefer a man with similar or higher education, but at the higher ends (graduate degrees) they seem willing to date down.

My understanding is that with black women the gender imbalance is much worse. So many black men are either in the criminal justice system, or failed to get educated, or unemployed, etc. while black women got educated and employed, now there is a lack of the kinds of men that black women want. But since those men are so in demand now, they have no incentive to commit since they have so many options. In a book I was reading about it one college educated black guy said it was like being a kid in a candy store.

[iceiso]

The idea that two low income people achieving a monetary benefit by pooling their resources neglects that they also pool their debt, which can be significant.

[russian_heel]

Because gold diggers see more earning potential in a college degree and are more attracted to college grads than some shlub either too stupid, lazy or poor to get into college and forced to work at a gas station to make ends meet.

[Voyager]

@SpyOne

That doesn’t exactly contradict what I said.
That article addresses men wanting to marry a woman with less education than them.
What I was talking about was women not wanting to marry a man with less education than them.
And yes, one of my sources was the Atlantic article by Kate Bolick. While she did say women face “a radically shrinking pool of what are traditionally considered to be ‘marriageable’ men — those who are better educated and earn more than they do.”, she was not saying the men were rejecting the women, but rather vice-versa.

Now, not every women feels this way, but surveys show most do.

I composed a long response, but I think I can make it shorter. I think you are probably right at the BS/BA level, since men not having any degree are going to come in lower on the pay scale, and the data shows there is a marriage gap there.
At the higher levels, I think any imbalance in male versus female is more than made up for by the increased willingness and desire of men to marry someone at the same level. And the much greater availability of women at that level. 40 years ago a make doctor wanting to marry a female doctor would find it tough, but not any more. When I was in college I definitely heard women complain about men not wanting to date anyone smarter than themselves. I never heard that complaint from my daughters.
My daughter, by the way, is married to a lawyer. She is smarter than him. He won’t dispute that. However they met in high school, so relative education was not a factor.

[Barrett_Bonden]

@TheUser

I raise this issue because I’m an educated, affluent middle-aged professional male. At all the jobs/offices I’ve worked, there have never been any unmarried women, 100% were married.

@Nava

What sector do you work in? What’s the gender ratio, in general? “All my female coworkers have been married” has a different significance if you work in engineering firms with two women and fifty men vs one of those primary schools where a man on premises is more likely to be a visiting father than an employee.

Along these lines, I work in civil engineering. I’ve noticed that most male civil engineers (~75%) get married within a year or so of finishing their undergraduate degree, typically to a woman in a “nurturing” profession, such as nursing or teaching.* In contrast, the majority (~80%) of the female engineers in my office are unmarried, myself included.

*Exceptions to the civil/nurterer rule are what I call “power couples,” with both partners working in the same field (~5%).

[up_the_junction]

@even_sven

Do you guys have any evidence for this “educated women can’t find mates” theory? I’m pretty close to my mostly-female grad school cohort, and three years after graduation, nearly all of us are married or engaged.

Even if it is true, why wouldn’t this be something that works itself out? Having hordes of well educated women is a fairly recent phenomena, and like all social changes it is likely to work itself out eventually.

I’m in London and God yes, 30-something women looking for a partner … everywhere. I know a bunch of guys a well, and never the twain will meet.

Like an awful lot of guys, it’s just no deal signing up to 20 years of career bullshit so you can play provider in someone elses dream.

[Claude_Remains]

@Chronos

Another issue: If your partner is abusive or deadbeat (more likely at the low end of the income scale), then you’re better off being able to ditch him or her more easily. Marry the loser, though, and now you’re stuck with his or her abuse and leeching.

cite?

[md2000]

@Wesley_Clark

I am going off of articles I’ve read and testimonials from women I’ve known in person and online.

I did find this. It shows women prefer a man with similar or higher education, but at the higher ends (graduate degrees) they seem willing to date down.

My understanding is that with black women the gender imbalance is much worse. So many black men are either in the criminal justice system, or failed to get educated, or unemployed, etc. while black women got educated and employed, now there is a lack of the kinds of men that black women want. But since those men are so in demand now, they have no incentive to commit since they have so many options. In a book I was reading about it one college educated black guy said it was like being a kid in a candy store.

The NY Times quote “I didn’t know you expected this to be an exclusive relationship” was a black, well-educated legal secretary with a good career. She was dating a plumber (also black) so a step up from unskilled labour but still a step down from the education level she had. I think that originally she thought she was lucky to find someone with such solid job prospects, until she realized she was just part of the playing field. Supply and demand.

[even_sven]

@Wesley_Clark

I am going off of articles I’ve read and testimonials from women I’ve known in person and online.

I did find this. It shows women prefer a man with similar or higher education, but at the higher ends (graduate degrees) they seem willing to date down.

This shows who people marry, which is in part a function of who they are around. You tend to meet a lot of grad students in grad school, after all.

This also doesn’t show that there is this great epidemic of women who have educated themselves out of marriage, given that it’s a list of who people marry and all.

I know a lot of well educated women in their late 20s/early 30s. Most are married or in relationships headed that way. A few aren’t, but that’s mostly either bad luck, personality quirks, or jobs with a lot of travel where it is hard to meet people-- all factors that can affect men as well.

[DaphneBlack]

@even_sven

Do you guys have any evidence for this “educated women can’t find mates” theory? I’m pretty close to my mostly-female grad school cohort, and three years after graduation, nearly all of us are married or engaged.

Even if it is true, why wouldn’t this be something that works itself out? Having hordes of well educated women is a fairly recent phenomena, and like all social changes it is likely to work itself out eventually.

Ditto. I know a ton of female PhDs between 1-5 years out from degree, and 95% are married. Almost all are married to a man they met in college or grad school, and most of the men have an advanced degree of some kind, though not always a PhD. I also know a number of female MDs. Over half are married to other MDs.