Two days ago I bought some cans of collard greens, kale greens and mustard greens, as well as a tin of apricots. The greens are delicious with some lemon juice and sea salt. However, the past two days I have had horrible stomach gas and the shits (which are also weird smelling, and the feces is greenish.)
I know this is disgusting, but I really want to know what’s going on. I have only had these since I started eating these canned greens. I hate talking about gross stuff like this, it’s embarrasing and declasse, but I need to know.
They have a lot of roughage. Natural fiber, don’t you know. Apricots are vicious little things when they hit your lower GI. I wouldn’t eat a whole can at once.
Sounds to me like you changed your diet too abruptly.
Greens have a LOT of fiber in them, which will keep things moving along your digestive tract. Your crap is green and weird smelling because (probably) you put more into your system than your system could digest at one time. The gut pains could be from your body trying to expel the overload more rapidly than the usual load, and the gas is from your intestinal bacteria having a party over the new food items.
Next time, don’t overdo. Gradually increase your intake of fibrous greens, thereby giving your innards a chance to adjust and ramp up procedures for these foods.
Hell, for an interesting intestinal experience, try dried cherries. Man, those things get everything moving. I’m keeping them on hand for medicinal purposes now.
I know what you mean. If we have a meal with a lot of raw or barely cooked spinach, some of it seems to pass through me unscathed. It’s puzzling to look into the toilet the next day and see pieces of spinach leaves floating around. Sometimes, I wonder, “Why do I bother to eat this stuff, if I can’t digest it?”
<Doug pulls on shitproof mod-smock>
Folks, a TMI warning would not have gone amiss here. I don’t assume just because I read the words the shits that an exegesis on their color, flavor, temperature, etc., is forthcoming or, indeed, even relevant. (Perhaps forensically. But still. A teensy TMI, mebbe?)
I also want to remind those of us who are devotees of fresh greens to a) wash them carefully if bought by the head and b) inspect all greens for rust, which will reliably bring on TS if ingested.
<pulls off mod-smock>
You know, I came in here to say “The Greens are a bunch of useless Tree-Hugging Lefties, and they give everyone the shits”, when I realised you were talking about vegetables and not a political party.
Some canned greens are cooked with pork fat added, and if you are a vegetarian, your system might not be used to that, hence the intestinal duress. In that case, read the label.
Or, as all have said here, if your guts are not used to greens and the roughage, especially the kales,with some good sulfuric components, yer intestines may be reacting to the natural clean out that veg material has. If you are just not used to having greens in your diet, give it a couple of weeks. The benefits of greens are worth the adjustment.
Cans? I weep. So does the baby Jesus. You’re supposed to buy a big bunch of them and cook the crap out of them. The smell they make when they cook is a warning to you about what they’re going to smell like coming out the other end.
I would add that balancing insoluble fiber (which is what is giving you trouble) with a bit of soluble fiber may help you digest them better. White bread is usually high in soluble fiber or you can take a few citrucel-type tablets (methylcellulose) with your greens. They’re required to be labeled as laxatives, but they are in fact soluble fiber, which can regulate your bowl movements whether they are loose or too firm.
