How to Be a Better Italian
Lift weights and use steroids to ensure equal parts muscle and zits.
Start fights in bars for no reason.
Date girls with huge hair.
Compete with blacks to see who can wear the most fake gold chains.
How to Be a Better Black
Refuse to use correct grammar, then complain that the hiring process is racist.
Refuse to use a condom, then blame the woman when she gets pregnant.
Refuse to tip, then complain about service.
Order all soft drinks with no ice.
Never show up on time, to work, to movies, or for dates.
Have as many gold teeth as possible.
How to Be a Better Asian
Get drunk on half a beer.
Watch every race of man sleep with your women, while only Asian women and ugly white women will sleep with you.
Own your own store.
Refuse to give the correct amount of duck sauce.
How to Be a Better Hispanic
Make whites nervous by speaking Spanish on the subways.
If you can’t say something nice…knife the bastard.
Have no Asian friends.
Be viciously jealous of your girlfriend, even though she was dating someone else when you started getting it on.
Wear your pants too tight.
How to Be a Better Jew
Pretend to be Italian socially, and act like a Jew at work.
Invent more holidays.
Complain about every meal you’ve ever eaten.
Complain about being single as often as humanly possible.
Be rude to cab drivers.