Two different thoughts floating around here. But with caveats. That’s fine.
My Wife is just as on time as I. So was my mother. She is umm, my late mother now.
I would probably want to tighten up a meeting for lunch, to what time. Give me a window man. Also for a meeting in the afternoon. If I’m at home and plan to be, mid afternoon at least gives me an idea. Otherwise it could be a 6 hour window. I do have things to do.
Even though I work from home now, give me a clue.
I’ll admit that I worry to much. My Wife left work about 10 minutes ago. It’s a 20 minute drive but the roads are absolute shit right now. She was let off early.
And that’s what bugs me. Sure I can relax and have a beer while waiting for someone. But, now my schedule may be stretched. Maybe not, but it may be. Late people seem to think that waiting for them is no big deal. But it may mess up my day.
I’m curious about those that support being late as to what they would think if they were desperate for a ride and I show up half an hour late so they miss their plane and my reaction was, “Whatever. I was late, that’s my nature.”
You don’t call in that type of favor from that sort of person. If you don’t have a history of being late and show up a half hour late, I assume there was a good reason. I’ll figure out my way onward. Shit happens. Me being pissed helps no one in the situation. Personally? I would have just called an Uber or Lyft and not worried about someone else getting me to the airport on time.
Come on dude. None of the laties in this thread are like that. They have said repeatedly that they wouldn’t agree to do a favor like that or it would be an extreme effort.
I personally wouldn’t ask someone for that kind of favor unless I was 100% positive they were capable of it and even that would be rare. Knowing how I am, I’d take care of that shit myself and not force my anal punctuality on someone doing me a favor.
This, so much this. I can count on one finger the number of people I would ask to get me to the airport on time. My friends are mostly reliable, but if something goes wrong and I miss my flight, I would much rather blame a shuttle company.
I have several laties as friends and they know I won’t wait unless I’ve been called. I accept their quirks which includes them never being on time for anything but work, or doctor appointments, or picking their kids up from school. This obligates them to accept my strange quirk of wanting to be on time for reservations and events.
My little take:
If a Late person recognises that lateness AND is remorseful then any anger of mine for their lateness’ impact is mitigated.
If a Late person that recognises their lateness and is not remorseful then any anger I may feel for the impact of their tardiness is justified.
If a late person doesn’t recognise that they are late then maybe they were not late and my expectations were inappropriate. Or maybe they are selfish, self entitled, self obsessed jerks.
I live in a region of the country that borders being culturally Southern and culturally Midwestern (this fully Midwestern guy moved here a few years ago). Everyone around here – my wife, her family, my local friends, everyone – regards the clock as just a piece of set decoration. My brother in law, by way of example, missed a flight because of his cultural lateness. It’s like it never occurred to him that the 8:25 a.m. departure time on his plane ticket meant that he had to be at the airport, you know, some time before 8:25 a.m. My wife is even worse. For her, “be here at noon” means “leave the house some time before 1:00, if it’s not too much trouble.”
I found this article about time-blindness that mentions the TikTok video. It talks about the medical conditions that lead to time-blindness but I’m still not satisfied. If your time-blindness is a symptom of an underlying illness like ADHD or depression, by all means I will be accommodating and please go get help. But the video and irl people that I know that are late seem to feel I’ll show up when I want because to screw in a lightbulb all I do is hold it and the world revolves around me.
Bumping this with this post because a couple people here have implied their lateness is due to an underlying medical condition so if we can get them back I’d ask them.
Do you get treatment/support/help with the underlying problem?
If so, does that help with your time management?
Certainly different people have different abilities to natively feel time passing, with some people being very good and others being very poor. One other aspect is that if someone is doing a creative activity, the part of the brain which keeps track of time is suppressed. For instance, if someone is painting or reading, hours may pass and they may have little sense of the time. But it’s simple to overcome “time blindness” by just setting an alarm. Phones make it trivial. Someone with self-diagnosed time blindness can have unlimited alarms to remind them about stuff like “leave for work” or whatever. While I can agree that some people don’t have a good sense of time, I don’t think that means the rest of us have to just accept that they’re going to be late for everything.
I am sure I have posted in similar threads before. I cut chronically late people out of my life wherever I can. It is a dealbreaker. I am super easy going and relaxed, the only thing that gives me anxiety is being late. I can’t stand late people and I absolutely do take it as a sign of intense disrespect. Yeah. you have mental health issues that preclude you from being on time? I am truly sorry. Still not waiting for you.
A lot of this comes from growing up in an (East) Indian culture where EVERYONE is late. Aargh! Schedule a party for 6 pm, we show up at 8, and the host isn’t even ready!!!
I have said what I had to say on this subject previously in this thread, to the point of exhaustion. Please refer to my earlier posts, I’m not going to type all that out yet another time.
It’s not quite that simple. But yes, i typically have about a dozen alarms and reminders from my phone or work laptop every day. I spend a lot of time setting up reminders so i don’t miss stuff, am not late to events, etc.