Why aren't kids "allowed" to watch porn?

Great Debates
101

As a daddy-to-be, I’ll soon have a vested interest in the why’s and wherefore’s of not showing explicit (or non-explicit) sex or violence to my kid. Of course, I believe that kids shouldn’t be exposed to either sex OR violence before they’re ready. Nevertheless, I’d be much more comfortable with my son (or daughter) viewing an act of violence on TV than an act of sex. Why? Good question.

I think reasonable people will all agree that kids shouldn’t be having sex. The definition of “kid” is up to debate, of course, but for the purposes of discussion, I’ll talk about pre-pubescent children - 11 or younger. Now, I believe that behaviors once children are older are fostered, in large part, when they’re very young. Morals are instilled early, and by the age of, say, 13, their general behavior is going to be more difficult to influence. So when they’re young, it’s especially important to get the right ideas in their heads.

So from the above, it follows that you want to get the right ideas regarding sex and violence into their heads, at a time when intellectual subtlety is not their strong suit. So, how do you explain that violence is wrong? Easy. Hitting someone is bad. Making someone hurt is bad. Kids can relate to this - everyone knows what it means to hurt, and it’s easy to present the notion of “making others hurt = bad”.

So, how about sex? How do you present the idea that sex is bad? Well, that’s not right - sex is sometimes good, but sometimes bad. Sex is bad now, because you’re only 6, but later, sex will be a good thing. But even then, sex can have bad side-effects, so you want to watch out for those, so even then sex can be bad. How do you explain all that to a little kid? Short answer: you don’t.

We keep kids from seeing sex when they’re little so that we can put of our explanation thereof until such a time as they’re ready, both emotionally and intellectually, to understand the subject. And then we introduce it gradually, preferrably in a “sex is for someone you love very much, when you’re mature” sort of way. That may be inaccurate, but it’s more likely to keep them from boffing people right and left when they hit puberty than “sex is fun, but be careful”. Every kid thinks he’s careful enough, and almost every kid is wrong.

So anyway, that’s my take on the Sex v Violence matter. I dunno, it seems pretty intellectually consistent to me. Others will no doubt disagree.

  • Jeff
102

I think that’s quite consistent, Jeff-e.

Besides, even children can see that there may be times when they’ll need to resort to violence – to defend a helpless child being beaten up by other children, for example. In contrast, there are simply no reasonable circumstances wherein a child would have to participate in sex. (Note that I emphasize “reasonable.” I’m sure that some of the participants in this thread can concoct some outlandish scenario that would justify having a child participate in such an encounter.)

103

Well what if you had two European swallows carrying a coconut via tether? Are you following me?

Oh right, reasonable…

104

The reason I don’t allow my kids (or didn’t rather, one is old enough to choose for herself now) to watch porn, is because I believe that it’s not age appropriate for them.

This does NOT mean that I (and other parent’s who believe this way) think that porn is “wrong” or immoral, or whatever.

Personally, I merely think it’s “gross” and poorly done. Maybe if it were sexier (and SORRY, but two brillo pads fighting over a hotdog is NOT “sexy” at least not for women), I’d like it myself.

Anyway, sorry I got sidetracked. :slight_smile:

I liken the reasons that I believe it’s not age appropriate to something an older person once told me.

A small child (five, six) had asked her father about a word (describing a sophisticated sex act) that she’d heard some of the older kids say.

The dad sighed, and thought for a few moments and finally he turned to her and looked down at his briefcase and said “Katy, pick up my briefcase for me”.

So the little girl bent down and struggled with it for awhile and finally said "daddy, you KNOW I can’t pick it up, it’s too heavy for me’!!!

And the dad told her, “yes, I know, and that’s the same thing about this word you’ve heard. I believe that it’s too heavy for you right now. Just like the briefcase is, when you’re older, you’ll be able to carry the briefcase, and when you’re older, you’ll be better equipped to carry the knowledge of that word”.

Granted, this little exchange took place in a much more innocent time. I’d wager that many kids know LOTS of words I didn’t know at that age.

But the basic Idea is what I, as a parent, think about sex, and children. It’s not that it’s dirty, that I’d rather they wait, it’s that I believe that they’re not quite ready for some things.

105

You’ve GOT to be kidding!

BS free? PORN? Our (American) Porn???

NOT. As someone else so eloquently described porn to be a woman getting off on having her feet held over her head while she gives a bj, or in having a huge penis repeatedly and roughly shoved into her as being the way to “please” women.

This is SO far from “Showing healthy people having deep enjoyment of sex with both partners interested and having a good time”.

What they REALLY show is what a certain type of man’s idea of " good sex" is. And that, is just more BS.

As others have said, this, NOT that it’s “dirty” or immoral, or whatever, is my main gripe regarding porn, it’s so far from reality.