Don’t you know?
Jesus is the Lord of the Dance and he danced for the scibes & the pharisees, but they would’nt dance…
I think the pharisees are still with us.
So just how does Jesus keep his entire upper body totally still while moving his legs like that?
When I was in high school, our parish every year at prom time scheduled a special Mass on Sunday night so we wouldn’t have to haul our asses out of bed and go to Mass on Sunday morning. However, in my case, we wouldn’t even have had to get out of bed. Prom night was license to come home at dawn.
I love that Lord of the Dance song. We sing it at my parish all the time. I always think of Jesus doing his RiverJordanDance. 
It’s a miracle!
I thought it from the ingesting of his own special brand of “Jesus Wine.”
Which brings to mind one of my all time favorite literary lines, from Gregory Mcdonald’s Fletch Lives:
“She had the look of a woman that had been danced with and not fucked.”
I can’t believe I’m the only perv here - the first thing that sprang to my mind was “Sarah Good will…” and “John’s puuuuuuure love!”
:dubious:
I’m sure you have heard the joke about the young [insert fundamentalist group here] couple about to be married, and attending meetings with their [religious leader]. At one of these meetings, the subject of sex inevitably comes up, and they are somewhat startled to hear the [religious leader] enthusiastically urging them to explore sex in many different positions. “You’ll be married! You’re meant to love one another and enjoy one another’s company.”
“Well, what about… from behind?” the man timidly ventures.
“Yes, yes, of course! Nothing wrong with that.”
“What about… with me on top?” the woman shyly asks.
“Certainly! No harm in that!”
“Sitting in a chair?”
“By all means!”
“Well, what about standing up?”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” the [spiritual leader] thunders, divine anger flashing in his eyes. They look at him, stunned. “That could lead to DANCING!”
Oh, for pity’s sake. Well, that was the unabridged version, for those who wanted it.
Hey, that’s how you keep the kids in line. You make a huge deal over the little stuff and they never dare the big stuff. If Cindy Loo is called a slut for showing her gasp ankles, you’ll never have to worry about seeing her knees.
From the OP’s link:
IOW, God doesn’t want you to associate with Republicans and sinners.
I think the whole hands-nailed-to-a-horizontal-bit-of-wood part might help a little.
Jesus as marionette?
OMG-Jesus is just a puppet for God! The scales have fallen from mine eyes…
I would like to know how many teens, with access to the Internet and TV, actually toe the line on this crap. And make no mistake, it is crap.
I do want to print that link out and send it to Youth Group at my church, though. We seem to be moving a bit in the conservative way, and it worries me…My 14 year old found it hilarious. He vows to look at his (future) prom from a Christian perspective. Perhaps he’ll grow a beard and wear sandals to it?
Only the Mormon kids.
D&R…
If he can pull off that water-into-wine bit, he’ll be the most popular kid in school.
I had a sunday school teacher who actually said that “Satan and Democrats” were trying to turn us away from God. Two of the three kids in the room were already avowed dems. The moment was made funnier by the fact that this woman was a living caricature of a southern baptist. A big-ass, bright red beehive hairdo and a hick version of the Scarlett O’Hara accent. She once referred, scandalously, to the Romans worshipping Aphrodite. Only she pronounced it “Afro-Ditty.” To us big-city, full-of-ourselves, teenagers, this was just too much and it was al we could do to keep from breaking out in laughter right in her face.
Not true. In my hometown more Mormon girls got knocked up on Prom night than any other group, even the Catholics. And THEY’RE allowed to use protection (the Mormons, that is…although the whole “don’t have sex before marriage” thing didn’t stop them…).
~Tasha
“Woo hoo! I’m transubstantiating like a motherfuck!”
Somewhere, my anti-blasphemy father is rolling in his grave.
This kind of scripture-twisting always just leaves me shaking my head. An Episcopal priest, with whom my wife and I are still good friends, once illustrated how easy it is to use scripture to advocate anything. He cobbled together snippets of Bible verse that showed God wants us to steal from the rich, kill people who offend us, and kidnap and rape women if they don’t want to marry us. His point was that God doesn’t really “want” us to do any of that stuff, but you can use scripture to sell any concept to gullible people.