Three assorted Taco Bell items were bad enough. The four assorted doughnuts, of which the maple frosted was the least extravagant, was sheer, unmitigated hubris.
My various internal organs are now in the rabble-rousing, reductionist-political-slogan-chanting stage of anarchic rebellion. Soon they will enter the ‘throwing things, preferably explosive’ angry mob stage.
Hopefully, nothing will end up lynched or guillotined, at least nothing too important. Note to body: The pancreas is considered important. So are the reproductive organs. In fact, lets just assume everything down there serves some kind of purpose.
So . . . Why did I eat all that crap?
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I always feel guilty about buying fast food. It’s not like I couldn’t get a nice slice of pizza or a real burrito for about the same price . . . They were real doughnuts, at least, though that is of no comfort now.
I went with “I don’t understand the question. Why would you NOT gorge on junk food?” but if I could vote for two, I’d add “Jesus made you diet-fumble.”
I voted for the Jesus diet fumble. God wants you to be fat. He thinks you’re funnier that way. I told him that was kind of a douchey thing to say, but he wasn’t really listening to me. You know how God is about that sort of thing.
We all know what you are substituting for with those tacos. The four doughnuts lay your psyche bare for all of us to see, and it ain’t pretty. The less said about the maple frosting the better.
I voted for the option with no votes, because it was lonely.
The AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnnnnngels grew lonely… they took you because they grew lonely… now IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m lonely toooo SONNY BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
I’m going with Jesus made you do it. Obviously, Jesus loves you and wants to hang out with you. So he wants you dead and he’s trying to shorten your life via fast food.
You should start smoking cigarettes. You’ll look cool and if anyone complains you can tell them it’s all part of a divine plan.
