Because the Bears still suck.
Go PackerS!!!
(In a John Edwards voice…)
Why did the chicken get to the other side?
Because it crossed the road.
My children answer that with “because Mommy was chasing it with a knife”
…to show the possum it could be done
Texas variant:… to show the armadillo it could be done.
. . . for fowl reasons.
To see his friend Gregory Peck.
Thank’s Doc all this time I’vebeen waiting to see you guys post and this is what I get.
HARRUMPH!
Because his blue ones were in the wash.
United States Air Force reactions to this event are as follows:
COLONEL: Successful crossing, well planned and carried out in accordance with my directives.
CHIEF: About time that thing worked; hope the Colonel’s finally happy.
NCO: Changed two wings, a beak, and removed a bad egg, and the silly thing still couldn’t fly across the road
2ND LT: Look at the pretty bird!
AIR EDUCATION AND TRAINING COMMAND (AETC): The purpose was to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least 3 miles of visibility and a safety observer.
AIR FORCE SPECIAL OPERATIONS COMMAND (AFSOC): The chicken crossed at a 90-degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.
AIR FORCE PERSONNEL CENTER (AFPC): Due to the needs of the Air Force, the chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This will be a 3-year controlled tour and we promise to give the chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one road crossing during its career, and this will not affect its opportunities for promotion.
AIR INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (AIA): Despite what you see on CNN, I can neither confirm nor deny any fowl performing acts of transit.
AIR FORCE RESERVE COMMAND (AFRC): If it didn’t happen on a Saturday or Sunday then we missed it.
AIR FORCE FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY CENTER (AFFTC): This event will need confirmation; we need to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather conditions to confirm whether it can actually happen within the parameters specified for chickens and the remote possibility that they might cross thruways designated by some as ‘roads.’
AIR MOBILITY COMMAND (AMC): The purpose is not important. What is important is that the chicken remained under the OPCON of USCINCTRANS and did not CHOP to the theater on the other side of the road. Without CHOPing, the chicken was able to achieve a seamless road crossing with near perfect, real-time in-transit visibility.
AIR FORCE MATERIEL COMMAND (AFMC): Recent changes in technology, coupled with today’s multipolar strategic environment, have created new challenges in the chicken’s ability to cross the road. The chicken was also faced with significant challenges to create and develop core competencies required for this new environment. AFMC’s Chicken Systems Program Office (CSPO), in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) CSPO helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes, and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program management framework.
Tower: The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This unauthorized road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize that chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.
Command Post: What chicken?
To go to Starbucks, but before he got across the road, three Starbucks opened up on the side of the road he was on.
What, like a chicken has anything better to do?
First, pick a male friend in the room…today, we’ll say “Jeff”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Jeff.
Why did Jeff cross the road?
He had his dick stuck in the chicken.