HAMMER (to the crowd)
Florida, folks! Singing, dancing and entertainment! After the entertainment, there’ll be sandwiches. But, remember, if there are no lots sold, there’ll be no sandwiches. Florida, folks! Sunshine, sunshine! Perpetual sunshine all the year around! Let’s get the auction started before we get a tornado. Right this way. Step forward, everybody. Friends, you are now in Cocoanut Manor, one of the finest cities in Florida.
Of course, we still need a few finishing touches, but who doesn’t? This is the heart of the residential district. Every lot is a stone’s throw from the station. As soon as they throw enough stones, we’re going to build a station. Eight hundred wonderful residences will be built right here. Why, they’re as good as up. Better. You can have any kind of a home you want to. You can even get stucco – Oh, how you can get stuck-o!
Now is the time to buy while the new boom is on. Remember that old saying: “a new boom sweeps clean” and don’t forget the guarantee – my personal guarantee: If these lots don’t double in value in a year, I don’t know what you can do about it. Now then, we’ll take lot number twenty – lot number twentah – right at the corner of DeSoto Avenue. Of course, you all know who DeSoto was. He discovered a body of water. You’ve all heard of the water that they named after him, De Soda Water?
Now, this lot has a twenty foot frontage, a fourteen foot backage and a mighty fine garbage. Now what am I offered for this lot? Anything at all? Anything at all?
(1929, Marx Brothers The Cocoanuts)