This kind of fits in somewhat with the theory I’ve been building lately.
Entertainers seem, in my opinion, to be very artistic, emotional sorts. Often we hear these couples speak of how someone “just swept them off their feet” or “are my soulmate and best friend”. Often they are also maybe more spontaneous and daring than maybe some of the rest of us.
I wonder if that predisposes them to marriage pitfalls - the highs are real high, then the lows are real low.
My boss & I were talking about this yesterday, and his take was “can’t they just try, oh, I don’t know, dating for a while? You know, you don’t have to get married!”
I just wonder if they get caught up more in the emotions than maybe some of us boring types.
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward have not been married for nearly 50 years. They have been married for 44 years. They wed January 29, 1958. To me, “Nearly 50” means 49 or more.
And it was Paul Newman’s SECOND marriage.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have been married for only 14 years. And Hanks is also on his second marriage.
My theory is that celebs really can’t “date” like the rest of us. Going out for dinner, for example, must be carefully planned, involving publicists, PR people etc. (even to avoid the media), so celebs tend to go on more intimate type dates (a weekend at a hideaway, say) more quickly, where they’re exposed to a very attractive person’s attributes. My experience has been that it takes a good number of dates to see someone’s flawed personality, and I haven’t been out recently with J-Lo, whose personality flaws I might be willing to overlook even longer than I usually do. So celebs, thrust into intimacy, infatuated by physical allurements, able to afford the risks of divorce more easily, just decide “what the hell, where’s the downside?” and I think, for them, they’re usually making a good (if high-risk) choice.
That’s actually a pretty good point, about the intimacy. I think about the dates I’ve gone on, and I’m sure that your typical A-list celeb can’t exactly hang out in a restaurant and chit chat with their dates for hours on end, can they?
Another view on this: Speaking from personal experience, the entertainment industry is generally tough on relationships in general – whether you’re a celebrity or part of a film crew.
It’s can be extremely stressful with long hours apart and it’s difficult to schedule in time for yourself let alone fit in your spouse. When my SO is working on a film, it means 18-20 hour days and then the person who comes home is an exhausted bundle of stress. My SO’s ex always complained “I never get to spend time with you and you become a different person when you’re working!” and resented my SO for being in the film/music industry.
A lot of it is a byproduct of the schedule. It’s always in extremes:
Either you have tons of time together between projects, or you only catch random glimpses of one another as you’re rushing to work. You have a lot of money when you’re working, then no paycheck between projects. You’re either super-busy, or bored to tears between jobs. It’s a very bi-polar existence.
I’ve known great couples whose relationships became casualties of the insane scheduling and geographic craziness.
“Is it your birthday today? Sorry, honey, I can’t out for dinner. We’re going to be on set until 4 a.m. I promise I’ll make it up to you… How about next Tuesday?”
Healthy relationships are tough enough as it is in general. With one person who is in a high-stress, time consuming job (and that includes ANY really demanding high-stress job – ER doctors and lawyers, as well as celebs) and it’s really hard. Get two people in such a demanding industry and it’s really, really hard – twice the work – and heaven forbid you’re both celebrities because then you’re forever on display too.
My SO and I have had a few uneasy “moments” but only when we were stupidly working on the same high stakes project (never again!) I can’t imagine what it would be like for two A-list celebrities. To have to try and maintain a healthy relationship while being perpetually under public scrutiny.
Another thing to consider: Actors and actresses are these sexual fantasy figures who, in private, seldom live up to their well-promoted sexual personae. Is it humanly possible for Britney Spears to fulfill the fantasies her publicists generate? I doubt it. (I think Warren Beatty and Madonna were both quite relieved after their break-up.)
As the guy who played Maurice Minniefield on NORTHERN EXPOSURE once said, “I never fall in love with actresses because I know what they look like without their makeup.”
Being famous must be a mixed blessing.
The bad side is that you have a slim group of people who could really be a partner. Anyone not particularly famous might just like you for your fame/$.
Also, these people are expected to be cool. You can’t be human, you have to be perfect. If there is the slightest problem you want to be the one to break up with the other so that it doesn’t look “bad” in the tabloids for you.