[everybody]Hi, Ryan![/everybody]
Ok, In plain words I like Far Eastern women because they are different.
do they look exotic?
Why?
Should have. It’s a small thing, but it’s a pet peeve of mine. Carry on.
No no no no no!
BAD RYAN!
What I was pointing out is that the fact that you like Asian women has nothing to do with your post. I don’t care if you like women painted green and carrying thier own crab colony, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you have trouble striking up a conversation.
Ergo, your post wasn’t racist, it was just dumb.
If you wanted to start a thread about the attractive qualities of Asian women, I’d have been there in a heartbeat. If you started a thread about how to talk to a woman because you get all hokey and dorky around them, and I probably would have offered up a little advice.
Instead, you started a thread about how to talk to an Asian woman. There’s not a whole ton of difference between an Asian girl and any other girl, in terms of the conversation you might have if you’re attracted to them. In fact, virtually no difference. My wife is Russian (and, for the record, has sexy Eurasian features, she looks half-Asian half-white, mmmm) and I wooed her the same way I wooed every American girl, both Japanese girls, and the nice girl from Argentina I ever dated: Lots of compliments, paying attention to the conversation, and flowers.
On the other hand, I may have misinterpreted your question. In that case, the answer would be: Learn Chinese, or Japanese, or some other Asian language.
Oh, ok thanks!
I don’t see how what he wrote was racist, either. I’m attracted to pasty white boys. What’s the big deal?
I agree with welby.
Preferences are what they are, but what he (Ryan_Liam) said was a little stupid.
Women aren’t like cows. At least, not so far as I can remember.
thank god I’m a pasty white boy
Too bad for you Jin, I’m pasty but taken.
Do you wear a top hat?
'Cause my pasty white geek boy does. 
No, but I have a really cool flat crowned drover’s hat that welbywife hates with a passion bordering on murder.
Being a sensitive, romantic, loving husband I wear it all the time.
They are not different.
They are different from you.
Is there really a difference (heh) between those two statements? I confess I’m not really sure. Clearly, Ryan spoke in a way that most of us speak – not exactly precise, the meaning is left somewhat up to the listener, certainly most people would understand his meaning, give or take.
But, it’s always interesting (ok, to me, but then again, I like postmodernism) to reflect a little more on these things every once in a while. By saying the women are different, you might be implying that you are normal, standard, the place from where we start measuring things. The women then, are not normal and not standard. You might feel that as a result they are superior, but that is in addtion to being “not normal.” Your statement discounts the possibility that the women might consider themselves quite normal, and that your intended compliment, that they are superior, doesn’t mean all that much because you see them as not normal.
Another point of interest about the description of the Far Eastern women as “different” – does it allow for them to be different from each other? While you may have described the qualities that many Far Eastern women have, do you disqualify those Far Eastern women who do not meet the stated standards? Which would be more attractive to you – a Western woman who happens to have many of the features commonly associated with Far Eastern woman, or a Far Eastern woman with traits more usually associated with Western women?
My only point here is that difference is relative, not absolute, when talking about the wealth and range of human beauty.
I read the post in question, and it struck a chord with me, too, however I am fully willing to admit that this probably had more to do with my own emotional travel case with matching upright suiter (red leather, monogrammed, one squeaky wheel). But I will try my best to keep my baggage out of this.
What I see are two issues rolled up into one juicy ball:
- It’s generally dubious to attribute a single trait (in this case, attractiveness) to a specific group of people (Asian women, if you will), because chances are not everyone in that group shares the trait in question. (Would Ryan_Liam find ALL Asian women attractive, if he somehow got to meet every single one? Doubtful.)
and
- Generally, when such attributions are made, the trait in question tends to adhere to certain stereotypes, even if there’s not an insult involved.
Well, OK, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to just open the travel case for a few seconds…
My guess has always been that a good number of (straight) men who say that they don’t find Black women attractive would hit on me in a bar, and probably follow me home to boot. (Or, conversely, men who say that they DO find Black women attractive in general might not do much more than yawn, stretch, and scratch a testicle if I approached them.) Why? Because apparently (or so I’m told, in a variety of ways) I do not “look Black”…
… thus the stereotyping begins. In this case, “looking Black” apparently involves a certain set of physical characteristics which, whether or not it’s intended, sort of end up being stereotypical.
I think it’s better to use race as sort of an incidental descriptor. I mean, it sounds hokey, but isn’t it the particular configuration of physical attributes on a given person that makes you sing Hallelujah, rather than the race alone? If someone asked you what your girlfriend looked like, would you just say, “She’s Asian” and leave it at that? Likewise, does the fella I’m dating now get license to start sporting the “Black Women Turn Me On” T-shirt, despite his rabid aversion to Star Jones?
But I digress.
Anyway, the point is heck no, I don’t think it’s racist at all to find certain physical attributes more attractive than others (and even if it were, could we help it?). However, I think we can sometimes get ourselves into hot water by unilaterally assigning these traits to all members of a group, whether it be Asians, firemen, redheads, or what have you. I mean, sure, when we read Ryan’s post, we all get a mental picture of the kind of woman he finds attractive, and a lot of us agree with him. But, let’s face it, are we thinking of an elderly woman? Some Asian women are elderly. Is she one-eyed? Some Asian women are missing an eye. Is she toothless? Well, you get the picture.
(Granted, maybe a gummy old broad with an eye patch is exactly what flips Ryan’s switch, but work with me, here…)
And therein lies the danger of making sweeping statements such as the one he made.
However, as others have said, it seems to me like the bigger issue is getting his tongue untied so that he can land a date with one of these women!
How to start a conversation with an Asian girl: “Hello”
Pretty much every friend i’ve made since i moved here has been an Asian girl, and most of the few than aren’t are asian guys. It’s not a big deal, it just is. I don’t know how common asian girls are around Ryan’s place of living, but here, the women are either Asian or men (yes, broad generalization that will probably get me flamed again, but it’s just a joke someone in town told me. frankie says relax.). There is nothing wrong with being attracted to a certain physical characteristic, as long as you do not project personality traits onto every woman of the same physical type.
And while i was typing one of my friends (who is an asian girl, btw) sent me this, which Ryan_Liam will like: Vicki Zhao Wei
Frankly, I found Surreal’s comments much more cringe-worthy than anything Ryan said. Why? Because while he was talking about his personal preferences, he couched them in terms of absolute truths. Asian women have “better skin, better hair, better figures” blah blah blah.
Better than who? Why–all us fat, frizzy white girls with spotty complexions apparently. It may not have been how he meant it to come across, but that’s the way I read it and it did sting a bit.
I’ve found that most guys who want to date asian females do so out of stereotypes. They view asian women as being submissive and exotic. I know more than a few asian girls who are greatly offended by this and refuse to date guys who’ve ever dated another asian girl because of this. There is some famous asian actress who has mentioned this before, but I can’t remember her name…
Humm - I hope that fella’s that date asian woman aren’t getting a bad rap here.
My brother dated asian woman (and eventually married one - my sister-in-law) because he was in rural Japan, and there only WERE asian woman. (My bro is acutally the first non-japanese person that his mother and father in law had ever met).
Another thing - here in Canada, my bro did ok with the ladies (well, he did when he was single); however, in Japan he was beating them off with a stick. Lots of Japanese ladies find very pale skin, green eyes, facial hair and a “tall” nose (big, I think, is what most people would say) really groovy.
Finally, while we are on the subject, I happen to like fellas that are brown. My BF is brown. Honestly, I don’t care how they got that way - born, tanned, whatever - I just like it. That being said, I have lots of BF’s that were even more fish-belly-white than I am, which is saying something.
Having preferences is great - I think dating one race exclusively or refusing to date someone because of their race, is pretty obnoxious.
I don’t find them submissive at all, I hate that sort of ‘colonial bullshit’ stereotype cringeworthy and offensive.
If i told the girl that sent me that link what you said here, she’d hunt whatever guys think that and beat them dead. If anything, i’ve meet less submissive Asian women than in the general public, mostly because the american ones seem to be rejecting their stereotypes more.