Why do men have nipples?

I was looking at mine this morning, ( don’t you? ) and started to wonder why I’ve got 'em. I don’t need them, I can’t squirt milk out of them, even though that would be REALLY cool, why do I have them, damn, I coulda had a V8.

Cecil Adams on Why do men have nipples

thanks, I must have missed that one :slight_smile:

To help men find their cigarettes when they’re drunk.

Sua

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I had supposed men had nipples in order to demonstrate our solidarity with the feminist movement.

The real question is why do I have 3?

According to Uncle Cecil, you have a “benign congenital defect occurring in about one percent of the population”, according to Is it true that Anne Boleyn, wife of Henry VIII, had a sixth finger and three breasts? from Return of the Straight Dope.

Men were given nipples so that Marge Piercy could write her futurist/feminist science fiction novel, Woman on the Edge of Time.

The Chicana heroine time-travels forward a couple centuries into a left-wing feminist gender-bender utopia. In the childcare center she sees a burly bearded man in a lumberjack shirt taking care of the children. A baby cries, so the man opens his shirt and gives breast to the baby who happily nurses the man’s milk. She is bowled over and outraged by seeing a man appropriate an ability that was supposed to belong only to women! Her guide to the future explains that they had decided complete gender equality was he only way to go.

Well, it’s always nice to be in the top 1%, even if it is for physical abnormalities.


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