According to Miss Manners (Judith Martin), women traditionally have proposed, even in the Victorian period. Typically, it went something like this: “Father says we should stop seeing each other; people are beginning to talk.”
Women give ultimatums and then men propose.
Because women know they already got their guy; why ruin a good thing? Guys are more territorial and want to make sure they get to keep it.
/tongue-in-cheek, but just a little
(FWIW, I asked Mr.Tao, but it was after he asked me first and I didn’t say yes. I’d have been happy to carry on as-is ad-infinitum, but I wanted to make him happy. It was worth it.)
Well, traditionally I’d say that the parents on both sides had most of the decision making. However it was usually the groom’s decision to “accept” the bride.
Though there was a rare custom of swayamvar in which the bride gets to make the choice out of a bunch of suitors, sometimes setting them tasks. Shades of several fairy tales I have read.
My first marriage was the result of a mutual agreement that had already been a foregone conclusion and was furthered by happening by accident upon the perfect place to get married.
My second marriage came from her proposing to me.
Apparently, I don’t tend to fall in with the traditional crowd.