How do you feel about women proposing to men?

So, contrary to statements I may have made many months ago, I seem to be gleefully headed down the aisle once again. Amusingly enough, I am 0-2 on proposals, though. With my first wife, it was always assumed that we would get married, and while we were on vacation, we ran into a place we both thought was perfect, and so it was a mutual decision from there on out. No official proposal ever took place.

This time around, my future bribe proposed to me (taking both of us by surprise, I might add, but I still had enough of my wits about me to say yes). A number of people have started off asking me how I proposed, so they’re taken aback when I tell them I didn’t do the proposing (my mom, in fact, said in a state of bewildered amusement, “Well, modern times, I guess!”). Everyone seems pleased, though, even if it seems to strike some as unusual.

So I’m starting this poll to see how others feel about a woman proposing to a man in an opposite-sex relationship. If you’ve actually been in a relationship where the female proposed to the male, I’d love to hear details. I don’t know how to craft the poll as it would relate to same-sex marriages and unions, but I have a number of friends in such relationships and have never asked how the proposals went, so I’d love to hear from people in same-sex relationships, too!

Poll to follow shortly – please come back and vote!

I hope it’s a very large one, presumably being offered by your future bride :smiley:



Oh dear. Now I wonder just what was in the garlic chicken we ate just before I popped the question! :smiley:

I answered that it doesn’t matter, but I never expected that I would have done it. Garlic chicken.

Yes, if you’re ever in the LA area, I highly recommend the parking lot of Zankou Chicken for all of your romantic occasions!

“I am female, and it makes no difference who proposes.”
However, my fiance very much wanted to propose to me, and strictly forbade me from popping the question before he did. As long as I knew it was coming, I didn’t mind waiting. :slight_smile:

My husband proposed twice - my answer both times was not yet. He made it quite clear that he was ready to marry me whenever I was ready but that he wasn’t going to ask again. I proposed a few months later.

We decided to get married together; I probably brought it up first, but I’m not sure. My husband laughed and said, “So, will you marry me?” as we were walking out of a jewlry store after picking out rings, but we’d decided well before that.

I voted that it doesn’t matter.

Did the **goddess **give you a ring?

No rings yet. Just her word. But now that she’s copped to it on the Dope, there’s no backing out. :smiley:

By the way, I’m hopeful that some of the women who have voted that they wouldn’t choose to propose themselves, or that they are opposed to a woman proposing, will come forward and share their thinking.

I put other, as I don’t think anyone should blindly propose to a potential mate. I think it’s something that both parties should discuss and figure out if it’s the right time and that both parties are on the same page. From there, the proposal is more ceremonial, an event to remember.

There’s nothing worse than blindsiding your partner with a proposal they are not expecting, and even worse for the asker, is to be turned down.

I’m male and I think the two parties should discuss marriage together rather than having one party propose to the other. Maybe that makes me unromantic, though.

Any girl who just calls up a boy is just asking for trouble. I think it’s terrible, girls chasing boys.

I guess somebody has to bring it up first but it doesn’t matter who, and the whole down-on-one-knee-with-a-ring thing is kind of archaic and sexist.

I don’t rememebr who brought it up first for us. It was just part of a natural discussion about what to do after college. We’d been living together for 8 years, were both about to finish college and we just matter-of-factly decided that we might as well get married. It was like discussing buying a car. Neither of us is romantic. She forbid me to buy her a ring (she didn’t need to twist my arm).

I’m totally with Dio. I just read yet another article on the DeBeers conspiracy and forbade my SO again to ever even think of buying me a diamond ring - I certainly won’t buy him one.

Gooey proposals leave me cold, to be honest. Marriage should be decided between the couple, and then, what remains of the proposal? Some things should go the way of the dodo, IMO…

but women suggesting marriage first is not a bad thing. It’s just new, and with time we’ll be used to it.

Add another to the “why propose at all?” camp.

Engagement rings are unnecessary (I have one, but it cost less than $100 - and no I didn’t leave off a zero) and a cold proposal has way too much potential for disaster.

In fact, my own experience was almost identical to Vihaga’s - and I have to say it seems to be much more companionable and comfortable and nice that way.

Call me unromantic, but I think that intent, intense proposals and the whole “bended knee and ask her father” tradition is way outdated and I don’t feel any love lost for it.

I can accept that it’s a personal thing, so I don’t mind that other people do it and seem to enjoy it, and want to talk about it. I don’t even care if it’s the girl proposing to the guy or vice versa, or even telecasting it during the SuperBowl if they want to. It’s just that if someone did propose to me, they’re already doing something very wrong!

PSXer is my grandma! :eek:

Seriously, that is how I was raised, and it doesn’t come naturally to me to go against it. It’s okay with me if other women want to.

Gah! You just made me realize that she must have planned it this way to keep me from proposing at Dodger Stadium this year! I’ve been outwitted!

That explains a lot, actually.
[edit: About PSXer, not Dung Beetle.]