Then what are they saying? If it’s commentary, what’s the commentary?
I’ll say the same thing in this thread. “Y’all know there are other topics worth discussing, right?” What do you think that is communicating?
That’s not commentary. It’s directly addressed to the other people in the thread, and saying that you disapprove of people discussing that topic. There is no other possible interpretation if you speak English.
If you truly believe that it’s just commentary, it would be equally allowable if it was a loved one who had died. Do you go up to people grieving at a funeral, acting like the world is at an end, and tell them “Y’all know there are other things to grieve about?” I hope not.
The reason you think it’s okay is because you are judging people’s grief as invalid. In this thread, people are calling it recreational. You are saying it’s okay to say what you said because “they never met them.”
That’s not your choice to make. You don’t have the right to judge anyone else’s grief. In real life, you would be shunned if you did it, so I don’t know why people want to do it online.
Okay. In your thread about being touched inappropriately, I should have just said “who cares?” right? That was my actual opinion. I though you were silly to find it objectionable for someone to squeeze your muscles. People do it to me all the time. How would you have felt if I’d done that?
But, rather than do that, I chose to feel empathy for you, and realized that, while it wouldn’t bother me, it could still bother you. I realized that those feelings are yours, and you have the right to feel how you did, and to tell him to stop. So I offered advice based on similar situations I had experienced. To have said “who cares” would be being a jerk.
Threadshitting isn’t allowed for a reason. It’s not like grieving threads are special. It’s the same principle. Threadshitting is still being a jerk. You don’t have the right to tell other people not to care. You can’t walk up to people in real life and say “who cares” either without being thought an asshole.
And, yes, that’s what “Who cares?” means. It means “You shouldn’t care.” If you don’t want people doing it in your threads, don’t do it in their threads.
I’m sorry, but we DO have the right to judge people. If it’s alright to grieve over a celebrity just because they are a celebrity, it’s alright to negatively judge those who are grieving over celebrity just because they are a celebrity. Both are feelings. Neither is right or wrong.
We don’t have the right to say shit with impunity, though. If I laugh at a person who is genuinely grieving, I should expect to be called a dick–because laughing at a person is rude, dickish behavior.
It simply isn’t true that in real life, a person would be “shunned” because they aren’t sympathetic to someone’s grief. The other day someone laughed at me when I said I was sad over my sick, dying elderly cat. No one “shunned” that person for laughing at me in public. But you know what? I wouldn’t have wanted that person to be shunned. Because even though my grief is real, it’s really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. And I also know this person, as non-compassionate as she sometimes can be, will drop everything to comfort me if I should ever lose one of my parents or siblings. Not all feelings need to be indulged the same way. I believe this even though I’m the first to promote standing on one’s feelings and all that jazz.
I have no empathy for people who grieve over random celebrities. I can only think of a couple of celebrities whose death will make me sad. I can’t think of any that will make me grieve. Maybe one day I will experience that feeling, but right now it seems completely alien to me. But lacking the appropriate feelings does not mean that I have to be a dick. To me, that is a lot more important than empathy.
I would have told you to SHUT UP, BIGT and moved on.
I wouldn’t have liked it, but I’m a big girl. I can handle negative opinions about me.
See, I don’t believe we “choose” to feel empathy. We can choose to show empathy, but not feel it.
I am not wounded that you don’t understand how it feels to have a guy man-handle you against your wishes, because I’m 100% sure I don’t understand all the shit that pushes your buttons. In fact, it is helpful for me to hear the “other side” so that I can check myself and see if I’m overreacting. I like having my feelings validated. But I’m mature enough to handle a little ribbing too.
I don’t have a problem with the “threadshitting” rule. I’m not saying I want the rule abolished or anything like that. All I said is that personally, I don’t have a problem with a little thread-shitting when it comes to this subject.
If I feel strongly about something and someone says “who cares?!”, I’m likely going to take it as a challenge and try to educate that person why I care. I understand that not everyone reacts this way to their feelings being dismissed, but it works for me.
