Did you write to her asking for advice? Because if not then her response was to someone else. She did not point out your failings, you did.
Exactly. 
Well, I guess I’ll just have to continue being a heathen who is not invited to swanky soirees because . . . anytime I’ve got an atomic wedgie, I gotta pull it out immediately, no matter where I am or who I’m with. Sure, I’ll try to wait till I get to the ladies’ room, but sometimes, depending on the underwear and slacks interaction, a wedgie can impeded mobility. I ask you, which is worse? Quickly pulling out my wedgie and moving along briskly, or moving in such a way as to suggest a pinching of the loaf was taking place AT THAT VERY MOMENT? I rest my case.