Francis, I was referring to this:
compared with
Oh dear. I didn’t mean for it to read that I deserve sympathy!
No no no, don’t feel sorry for me now or then! It’s all part of growing. I’m just thankful I figured it out by the time I was 21.
Thanks tho
Yes.
Well, except mine.
And my Mom, of course.
You have a severe malfunction in your reading comprehension abilities. The poster to whom you were replying wasn’t saying that that’s what she believed, she was relating what her mother believed, and did it in a “tongue in cheek” manner.
Both of these threads were merely questions and requests for personal reasons/stories etc from those who cheat. Both threads were quite clear in making sure that it was information that was being sought, and were NOT blaming the cheaters.
You need to read past the thread title and stop jumping to conclusions.
Anyway, even if I were lacking in affection and attention in a relationship, I wouldn’t cheat.
I did cheat once when I was much younger, it wasn’t even remotely worth it. But now? I wouldn’t even consider it, no matter how unhappy I was in a relationship. Maybe it’s realizing that having a physical fling with someone isn’t going to solve the problem.
I guess I’m too “results” oriented to waste time with something that won’t get me what I need.
In other words, if I’m lonely and need affection/attention/appreciation from my bf, I think that I’d be much better served if I either tried to “fix what was broken” at home, or if that proved to be impossible, move on to what DID work. And that would mean making a clean break from my current SO and either looking for someone who would fulfill my needs, or find another way to fulfill my needs (volunteer, teach classes etc).
Um, being a woman that really hasn’t cheated…I think the only time I did was in my first serious relationship when we were pretty much ending it.
I just watched this show on the Discovery channel where they say studies show many women cheat to have ‘a man in waiting’ if they are considering ending their current relationship.
This wasn’t the case for me, the guy I cheated with the one night was not someone I would ever get into a relationship with, but it was a clear indication to me that I did NEED to end the bad relationship with the control freak alcoholic I was in a relatioship in. It was just very tough to break up with a control freak. I was also only 18.
He did stalk me for a while after, and harrassed a guy I was going on a first date with once. But he finally moved on.
The only other time I considered cheating was to get even, but I came to my senses before even coming close to follow through…cheating on someone who cheated on you is dumb…
Two wrongs don’t make a right…right?
So I just broke up with him and moved on with a clear conscience.
But I could see the ‘getting a man in waiting thing’ even though I’ ve never done it. I just never found a suitable guy during the time I was breaking up wih current relationships. Or I just didn’t do anything with a guy until I broke off the current relationship…and then told a guy I was interested in that I was single…hint hint. One guy got the hint and asked me out, unfortunately he was just as bad as the guy I had just dumped…oh well, I broke up with him too.