I’ve heard that women often cheat on their partners because their partners can’t bring them to orgasm. I’d like some women who have actually cheated to say whether or not this is really true. Is it?
And if you’re not sure (or even if you are), tell me this: did you have more orgasms with your lover than with your partner?
Where did you hear that?
From your wife.
Ouch.
Haven’t cheated on anyone, but I have been tempted.
It was not because of a lack of orgasms. It was because of a lack of emotional support and effort within the relationship. Everyone wants to feel special. If you’re with a man who treats you like the avatar of meh, you start looking elsewhere, intentionally or not.
I’ve never, ever heard this. What I have heard given over and over again by women as a reason for cheating is some close variation of this:
If we were on Family Feud, this would be the number one answer. Number two would be: “payback”.
Orgasms would get you a big X.
No, orgasms are a big O.
I’ve never heard that theory either. Back it the day, when was a big slut, I cheated because I wanted to have sex with someone else, usually in a futile effort to boost my self esteem and to make me feel popular and wanted.
What phouka said is my understanding as well. And most women don’t set out to cheat, “it just happened.”
But women are more likely to orgasm with their lovers than with their regular partners.
Evolutionary psychology readings.
My last girlfriend left me because my overwhelming virility and constant, rock-hard erections constantly left her a weak, quivering mass, her energy too depleted to get any work done.
Yep.
Can you give an example?
Judging from various spam I get, I think maybe this is a reason men THINK women have for cheating–or, perhaps, a reason that marketers think men think women have for cheating.
In research surveys, this reason is given at least as often as “lack of support and appreciation in the relationship”.
Which, given people’s penchant for rationalization and blame-shifting, makes me think it’s probably a more common and stronger motive than merely having an inadequate relationship partner.
Circle gets the square!
I only cheated once, before I knew I could have orgasms at all. Although my boyfriend and I weren’t a good match, he was a nice guy, and I didn’t feel it was right to break up with him for “no reason”. Also, since he was the only guy I’d ever dated, or who’d ever been interested in me, I was afraid I’d never have anyone else. So I felt stuck with him, and when someone else did show interest, I cheated when I should have just broken up with him.
Later, when I found out how to have orgasms, I did break up with guys who wouldn’t give me orgasms, but if they at least gave it the ol’ college try (and didn’t get offended when I lent a hand), I had no problem.
No, orgasms had nothing to do with it whatsoever. I don’t need any partner to have orgasms. Cheating is kind of a big deal and that’s a pretty piddly reason to take that step.
And where did you hear* that*?
A book called Sperm Wars, which seems fairly credible, but unfortunately little information on the studies is given – just the conclusions of the studies.
User name/post combo of the day. 