I bailed out early from a professional banquet tonight. As I was sitting there, I tried to sort out precisely why I don’t like these events.
The room was lovely, the musicians excellent, the food first rate (five courses), and the MC hilarious. There was nothing to complain about at all, but I still bailed early.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when the person seated beside me turned to me and said that her success in her education and her career was due to her parents having made her read the bible each evening. (I don’t like religion.) Meanwhile, the person seated to the other side of me kept trying to ply me with drinks. (I don’t drink.) They were good people being sociable, as was I, but I eventually came to the conclusion that for me these sort of banquets are really just an extension of work, an obligation to represent the firm and to make the rounds, rather than a relaxing night out.
That being said, why do you avoid professional banquets, or, if you enjoy these events, why do you enjoy them?
I don’t like them either, mostly because I find them dreadfully dull. I can handle acting “corporate” in the office, but it’s a bit draining to have to do it at a dinner party. Maybe it’s just at my office, but at our get togethers we tend to have the most dreadful “impress the boss” conversations. Plus, I really see enough of those people.
I loathe the things, and avoid them like the plague if given enough warning and a fair running start. There’s precisely one I always attend: my city’s Appreciation Dinner for its boards and commissions, and that because it truly is an obligation. I never enjoy it but it seems to mean a lot to some of the folks, so small price to pay. Gotta say, though, it’s one of those surreal times when my introversion shifts over to this bizarre, hard-won ‘adult’ mode. I tend to rescue other besieged souls with even faultier armor, smiles and inane chitchat right at hand.
It’s exhausting. It isn’t really social, because most of the attendees don’t have a damned thing in common beyond work. It’s a meeting without the focus of tasks. Toss in a carefully scripted sequence guaranteed to discourage real conversation while boring the hell outta everyone and you have a never-fail forumla for the worst of both worlds. If you want to preview hell, try being an imported speaker at one of those suckers. You don’t know a soul, most people don’t even want to be there but you’re supposed to entertain/enlighten them after the Goodyear Chicken with Parsley Sprigs. Pure torture for all involved, though it involves less sacrifce than the chickens’. Barely.
I can’t fathom why some people actually pay to attend fancy black-tie-and-gown dinners. I’ll fork over donations to charities just so I don’t have to attend.
Lousy food, weak drinks, bad company, and you can’t get hammered, because you have to work with these people every day. The only banquets I’ve ever been to professionally that were any good were one’s thrown but certain Coaches organizations. Small, laid-back, and good food and drink.
…always wanted to start a thread called “ask the Banquet Manager”… this may be my shot!
Ive been in the Banquet and Catering industry for nearly ten years now, my biggest achievement was leading the Front of House team for the visit of HRH the Queen at Parliament a couple of years ago…started my own business after that, and at the moment I am overseeing the opening of our first cafe…
…and in all of that time, I have only been to one banquet… It was a “Quest for the Best” staff prizegiving at SkyCity, and it was as awkward as heck… I kept looking at the staff, seeing glasses of wine not topped up, timing the delivery of the main courses, meanwhile I was completely ignoring the celebrity guest on my table (the very beautiful April Ieremia) as she made small talk with me…suffice to say, I am not good dinner company…
Mostly I hate the chit-chat, pretending that I’m even remotely interested in someone’s life story or anecdotes. Some banquets require dressing up and that’s never comfortable for me. For company-sponsored events, I only go if there’s some kind of group commitment to attend.
(1) really bad food, with high-falutin’ names that would lead you to believe it’s actually great food only you just don’t know enough to 'preciate it
(2) too much clapping, and you can’t just sit there and not clap
(3) it’s one of those party-but-not-a-party command performance things
(4) as someone said, you can’t get drunk
(5) if the occasion demands evening/cocktail garb the room is invariably too cold but if office attire is okay (for women that is; men seem to be able to get away with it even if the invite calls for black tie) then the room is stuffy
Thankfully, as a low-level government drone, these things are never an issue for me. I went to one Holiday Party some years back, figuring it was a good idea to make an appearance at least, but it was a waste of time and money. The food was OK, the entertainment home- grown, and most everyone spent the evening kissing up to the executive staff. I can’t help but wonder if those guys would have preferred staying home with pizza and beer and TV.
Thankfully, I’ll never be important enough to find out.
I cannot avoid professional banquets, dinners, cocktails and receptions - its part of my job where I can schmooze and politic among my counterparts. I get more done on my work agenda in these situations than in meetings, in the office, working the phone or sending out emails. I make connections, move forward on ideas, get my agenda talked about etc. I sometimes get to meet some new movers and shakers so I can listen to what they are doing, what they find important and how I might be able to help out. I can do this in about one hour and then sneak out. Sounds like I’m a hot shot business person… no, my profession is public health.
The key to all this is: being able to move around and work on what you want to do. Sit down banquet with canned entertainment is a drag. The food tends to be really godawful.
Please let it be a wedding if I have to go to a professional banquet! The food’s better. The sitdown is time limited and there is dancing!
I am one of those people whose biological clocks are Swiss-made even if the person is not.
Sun is out? I’m awake.
Sun is out but it’s cloudy? I’m half asleep.
Sun is in bed? Time for yours truly to tuck in as well.
Funny thing is, the rule works even when I’m in a windowless room with no clock: if Nava starts yawning fit to scare a whale, sun’s down.
Makes business dinners kind of complicated, specially if they’re in Spain: dinner is set at 9, people leave the meeting point at 10pm (and there’s still 1 or 2 people not there), we don’t get the food until 11pm, those last people arrive while it’s being served, and by the time we’re leaving the restaurant about 1:30am there’s still people who want to go visit some bar or other. zzzZZzzzzzzZ! And the food is a lot heavier than my usual dinner, so I don’t even sleep well.
Being a non-drinker like the OP contributes to complicating things. Thanks Og I’m running into less of these, but twice I had to leave business dinners after hearing someone who was already drunk planning how to force a bottle of cheap whisky down my gullet.
I like having lunch with co-workers, and the occasional dinner with co-workers that’s not an “official” function. But the official ones, ugh.
I don’t like them because I feel obligated to talk to people that I have very little in common with.
Small talk is not my thing, and I am sure I bore those who have no interest in discussing the finer philisophical points of life.
Well, the food is lousy and getting worse (I see the budgets for these, and the prices are absurd) but they’re not all bad. At my very first conference, when I was in grad school, I sat next to the guy from IBM who wrote the paper that convinced me to go into my specialty. I was thrilled! Banquets at conferences are good places for mixing, especially if you’re a student.
OTOH, I agree about work banquets. I see those people enough.
I Don’t much like them. They’re part of my job, but don’t work that well for me. I much prefer taking my customer out to dinner - I have more control over the situation, and the food is better. Banquets have a very unnatural feeling, and fact is, most people there don’t want to be there - creating that weird vibe.
I hate those things. I’ve been to many of them because I was in marketing, and am now a small business owner, so I have to network. They suck because either a) everyone there already knows each other, and they’re only there to eat the food and drink with their friends or b) you wind up with a huge Miss America smile plastered across your face saying something like, “Plastics? Really? You know, I’ve never met anybody in the plastics industry. What do you do for your company? Oh, you’re a plastic patent attorney! How interesting.”
I have to admit, though, that the ones I go to have really good high-end food, and the drinks are definitely not watered down. I have to pace myself, though, or get a better tolerance because just a glass and a half of wine or just one cocktail makes me feel awfully…relaxed.
I’m kind of surprised to hear that some of the people here have been to business dinners that start with a prayer. That strikes me as really, really weird and uncomfortable.
The one I was at on Saturday started with a prayer. I wish folks with religion would keep it to themselves rather than force it on others at public occasions.
Really. Ditto that Muffin. I mean even if I were religious I would have been uncomfortable thinking about somebody else who wasn’t. It couldn’t have been more inappropriate. I just sat quietly trying not to look at my GF because we would have started laughing.
It was a “Quest for the Best” staff prizegiving at SkyCity, and it was as awkward as heck… I kept looking at the staff, seeing glasses of wine not topped up, timing the delivery of the main courses, meanwhile I was completely ignoring the celebrity guest on my table (the very beautiful April Ieremia) as she made small talk with me…suffice to say, I am not good dinner company… 