I’m talking parties of the “Thirty people sit down, talk and nibble” variety, given in someones home. Just your ordinary, everyday kind of party, where the guests are their own entertainment.
Me, I like being invited to such parties, but I don’t actually like going there. Being invited is an honor, but actually having to go is a chore. I’d much rather have a quiet evening at home with my fiancé.
Parties just seem outdated, obsolete, a relict of the time when free food and free drinks were something worth coming over for. Nowadays, we have dating sites to meet people for romance; and for friendship, there’s the people we meet during the day, in work, class, neighbourhood etc.
Do other people feel that way too? If you are invited to such a party, do you feel you are doing the host a favor by showing up, or is s(he) doing you a favor by inviting you?
It depends on my mood. If I’m on the depressive/anti social end of a swing then it is a major pain to be around people. If I’m on an upswing I’d think going to a party was the greatest thing.
It really sucks to not know from day to day, hell make that hour to hour which side of the spectrum I’ll be on.
I love it! I used to be painfully shy and absolutely hate them, but since I’ve been forcing myself to be a little more outgoing, I actually find I enjoy them!
I like being invited to parties but I don’t go to many unless I know a lot of people there or have my best friend or someone else that won’t abandon me there. I get a bit nervous being around and talking to a bunch of people I don’t know. Rather have my five best friends over and hang out. But when I have a confidant there it’s way easier. The few times I’ve gone to a party alone only knowing a person or two there, I ended up feeling really out of place and bored.
I’m invited to a party tomorrow night at the home of one of my good friends (college keg party that won’t be huge), but he won’t be there to hang on to because it’s his party and his girlfriend will be there and I don’t know her well enough yet to bug her, and I’m annoyed with my roommate and don’t want to bring her, so I probably won’t go. The friend holding the party is the kind of person EVERYONE loves so he has friends everywhere and I know few of them. We usually hung out alone when we were becoming friends.
So yeah, like being invited, don’t always like going.
I’m always up for that kind of party, except for company parties where there’s too much shop talk.
I used to host many such parties as well, when I was married, but not much any more. Now I usually suggest gatherings at restaurants.
I generally don’t mind going to parties that are small, everyone-knows-everyone-else kind of affairs, as long as I know the food is going to be good, people aren’t going to be drunken fools (I need assurances that alcohol won’t be the only beverage served), and I am comfortable around, if not friendly with, all the party participants.
But if there are any doubts that the above criteria won’t be fulfilled, then yes it will be a chore to attend. I may think of ways to decline the invitation or come up with excuses for bailing out early.
Not really a perk or a chore, more of an obligation I’m happy to fufill?
Reading the OP, I realized I haven’t been to a party without a specific purpose in longer than I can remember, literally. I have bridal/baby showers, holiday parties, birthday parties, anniversary, game nights, etc. but no just come over and talk and eat and spend time together stuff.
Then again, most of my friends are breeders, so there’s always a kid’s birthday or graduation or communion or something partyish going on. When we all get together as a group once a month or more for these events, there’s not a big push to have any ‘just because’ parties. And of course it’s kind of a chore sometimes, since we all help one another cook and stuff, but it’s still more of a blessing to have friends/family I enjoy that much.
I detest parties. I find them artificial and contrived (redundent? sorry). You talk about stuff either you are board with or the person you are talking to is bored with.
You are forced to eat food that you would never eat, visit with people you would not hang out with normally and often do things you have no interest in doing in real life.
Give me a poker game any evening. At least with a poker game you might make some money from the gathering.
I work at home and live out in the sticks, so I jump at the chance for human contact with someone besides my husband and the UPS man. In the last several years it seems like it’s gotten harder and harder to get together with people, especially since our favorite coffee-shop hangout closed up shop.
Even without that, I consider being invited to a party a kind of honor, and barring a major conflict, we always go.
Usually I am happy when I first get an invitation and say yes, then the day before or day of I’m miserable about the whole thing. When I’m actually there, I usually have a good time. My husband almost always has to drag me out the door to get there though.
I can’t stand them. If it is, “Come over and watch the game, drink a few beers.” then I"m fine. But, actual ‘mingle’ parties with most people I don’t know? Yuck!
Those kinds of parties are very, very rare in my social circle. I would love to go to a party where someone wasn’t trying to sell me over priced crap. It sounds fun to be able to sit and visit without someone pushing a silly game or catalog at me.
That’s pretty much me, with the addition of the fact that I also like deciding what to wear to the party. Heck, I might even look forward to it for the weeks preceding the party (depending on how my outfit choice shakes out ), but usually when it’s time to actually get in the car and go, I’m not feelin’ it.
Trouble is, if you don’t ever show up, people stop inviting you, and then you lose your excuse to buy new pants.
I thought I wasn’t being invited to the wild office parties because I was new. Then I found out that a coworker, twice my age, who started on the same day as myself had been invited to every party since we started. It’s pretty depressing. I think everyone there thinks I’m some kind of prude–they have no idea what I’m actually like at parties, but I guess they have their assumptions…
Most of the “thirty people talk and nibble” parties that occur are my parents’ parties.
And I HATE those. They’re incredibly dull. They’re okay for about ten minutes if it’s people I know (like a church party or a neighborhood party) and I can wander around to the neighbors and exchange pleasantries and go through the whole “how old are you now? what school do you go to?” bit.
But the ones with people from my dad’s school or from either of my parents’ jobs… snoresville. Especially when there’s TV or dog or board games hanging about. And there are never any kids my age. EVER. So I get to spend hours on end playing I spy with my sisters until I get sick of behaving myself and hang around my mom begging her to let us go home.
On the other hand, the “we’re all going over to Ally’s house after the show” variety where it’s my friends and me sitting around and entertaining ourselves are great fun. They’re even great fun if I only know one or two people. As long as they’re my peers and not my parents’.
It would depend on who’s going to be there and what the expectations are.
If I’m supposed to “be the soul of the party”, you got the wrong gal. If it’s going to be people around whom I have to “watch myself” please no. If it’s people with whom I can relax, then when and where?
), but usually when it’s time to actually get in the car and go, I’m not feelin’ it.
It’s pretty depressing. I think everyone there thinks I’m some kind of prude–they have no idea what I’m actually like at parties, but I guess they have their assumptions…