Yay! I made the book! I can die happy! 
Now I don’t hate you any more. But I do hate your book.
Well, in all fairness, the crystal didn’t seem to work anyway.
It’s the leather pants. You are not, quote, “bringing sexy back”.
I hate you because you add a nose to your smileys because you don’t have a small petite nose.
I hate you because you’re sense of right and wrong as well as your sense of humor has kept you from ever holding anything more than an entry level job.
I hate you because you always gamble on the wrong things, never gamble on the right things, and never believe yourself when you should.
I hate you because you Are funny, but you’ve never brought a nickle home to show for it.
I hate you because you only answer brow-beatings with a guilty look.
I hate you because you look 20 years older than you are but are like someone 20 years younger than you are.
I hate you because no matter how hard you try, you can never succeed.
I hate you because even knowing that, you never stop trying.
I. Just. Hate. You.
No wait… thats all me. You’re fine. Never mind.
I hate you because you’re beautiful.
You should have done it the other way around. Then I would love you.
I had to quit doing that—those pennies that people throw in there kept getting stuck to my ass.
I hate you because I pretty much hate humanity as a whole, so what’s one more.
[quote=“Happy_Lendervedder, post:35, topic:649827”]
Try again. This will never make the book.
See, you’re back again, always wanting more. You’re a f*cking whore for verbal abuse. You’re like Bill Murray in “Bob”. You just don’t get it, do you? I know you want me to use stronger language against you. But I won’t. I know how this tortures you.
Pest.
It’s because you’re planning to publish a memoir which I am supposed to help write, whereas I have not published my own memoir.
But you know what? You’re not worth it.
Oh, wait, you wanted an itemized list - hold on…
- It’s because you’re planning to publish a memoir which I am supposed to help write, whereas I have not published my own memoir.
I hate you because of the thing you did to that bagpiper. Don’t get me wrong, he totally deserved it, but you should have cleaned up afterwards. Also, you have a stupid, stupid face.
You sure that wasn’t me? Because I’ve destroyed a lot of small villages and stolen a lot of sacred objects.
Dang, y’all are a bunch of jerks. I thought that all those things were off limits. Way to hit below the belt.
Dang.
Another reason I hate you…you’re happy all the time. Obviously, you’ve got The Good Stuff and you aren’t Sharing.
Of course, the penultimate reason you are hated is the way you vedder the lenders. You are so compulsive about it (and happy).
You say, ‘Tell me why you hate me!’ and we tell you. Then you say ‘Wah, wah, wah, you can’t talk about those things! I’m stupid, and lame, and I smell bad!’* That is one of the many, many reasons why I hate you… you dick.
*I don’t actually listen to anything you say anything you say anymore because you’re such a cry-baby. If I’m wrong you don’t have my apologies because you really, really suck… you bastard.
Oh I wasn’t talking to you. That bagpiper thing? Totally within bounds for your hatred.
I hate you because of your race, politics, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. I hate you because you are not exactly like me.
I also hate you because you started such a lame-ass thread, which has turned out to be quite entertaining.
Joan Jett hates herself for loving you, leaving me to love myself for hating you.