What physical reasons do you love him/her? What emotional reasons? What are those chessey little hallmark reasons?
I’m trying to write a paper about a guy who is madly in love with a woman, she doesn’t believe him. He decides to make a list for her. Ok, maybe this doesn’t make sense in the middle of the night, but any and all input would be appreciated. Thank you.
Will
I’m writing in the middle of the night, so maybe I can help.
I met my husband in church. Our pastor announced that “a young guy” (Pastor George was about 65 at the time) was returning to the church. As a single mom, I thought a young man about my older daughter’s age would be at the service. Larry showed up.
Ken, who played guitar in our church band, introduced his brother-in-law. Larry kept his head down, so I saw only this kind of skinny guy with long blonde hair. Nice butt, though. The 1st time I conversed w/Larry, I really couldn’t look him in the eye (at the time it reminded me of Moms Mabley’s “That ol’ man was so ugly he hurt mah feelings!” But as I got to know him, I started to enjoy his dry sense of humor. I realized that we’d both been through many of the same experiences & both enjoyed many of the same things. Early into the relationship he sat behind me at church. I don’t remember what I remarked, but his answer to it was, “I’ll always watch your back.”
I married that man about four months after we first got together, & I’ll love him until the day I die. Larry & I just celebrated our 10th anniversary. He’s 58 & I just turned 55.
The answer to your questions, at least as it pertains to “mature” relationships is answered in the above. Many answers, foremost trust. “I’ll always watch your back.”
Love, Phil
PS He’s still got a cute butt.
No SO here, but…
Both of my longer-lasting exes, because we had many hobbies and “likes” in common, but mostly well, because they plain made me horny.
My brother once said, when talking about his wedding, “I married her because half an hour after meeting her, I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” We haven’t gone into further detail.
I can tell you that they have many values in common and many personality traits where they complement each other; that there are things one doesn’t care about and the other one does, and they’ve learned to accept that when one says “I don’t care, honey, whatever you choose is good by me,” it’s true - and of course, to never say something like that unless it is true. I know they’ve had ups and downs and learned to lean on their support net in the downs, as well as on each other. I know Mom is very proud that there are things in which SiL asks her for advice, rather than her own Mom. I know Bro asks his in-laws for advice in other things. I know SiL is pretty and athletic and they’re close enough in height to be comfy if they kiss standing up (hey, it’s always a plus). I know Bro isn’t as athletic but he’s also the kind of guy who won’t ever grow a gut.
I like the back of his neck and his butt, I like his embarrassed smile (he’s shy) and I like that when he laughs this funny little giggle that is so odd coming from a tough guy body.
They are the frivolous things. The big things are that he is completely honest and that he has great integrity. He is completely comitted to us, even though he makes mistakes and is stupid or selfish at times. (Like the rest of us.)
I think she’s really cute in a quiet sort of way. I like the fact that she’s got a darker, more twisted sense of humor than I do. I like the fact that she’s a great cook. I like the fact that she’s ten times smarter than anyone else I’ve ever met. I like the fact that I can trust her no matter what.
She’s a tough cookie, too. She grew up poor in Dorchester and won an academic scholarship to college. I have no problems letting her handle the money, because she’s quite a bit better at it than I am because of this.
She’s also not afraid to resort to physical violence in emergency situations, such as when I talk back. 
No, I totally love my wife.
I can’t give a laundry list of reasons that would seem in any way rational. My reptile brain is clearly in charge here. She activates my attraction switches. Happily, my mammalian brain and cerebral cortex are in happy accord with it.
Also, I like the way she says “Me too” when I tell her how much in love I am. It’s so darn cute!
So many things!
He’s tall and muscular, with a great butt. He’s handy around the house. That man can do every repair job there is! He’s very smart, and self taught.
He tells me I’m beautiful all the time and makes me believe him. 
And one little thing he does is sooo endearing. He asks me, “Did I tell you I love you today?” Makes me smile every time.
He’s cute.
My head fits into the crook of his arm just the right way.
He’s the only person I know who likes to snuggle even more than I do.
I can’t walk behind him without wanting to swat that cute butt of his.
Most of all, I love him because I am a better person whenever I am near him - being with him brings out the best qualities in me, and tones down the not-so-good qualities. He’s like an asbestos blanket for my flash-fire temper.
Oh, dear. I’m going to get all wibbly.
I love the way his eyes change color to match what he’s wearing. I love the way he tans so dark–and how it makes me look china-doll-pale next to him. I love his beautiful collar bones and chest and broad shoulders–and the way he leaves the top two buttons of shirts open to show them off. I love how he’s so much taller than me. I love his little lopsided Elvis grin.
I love his optimistic nature. I love how he wants to be happy about everything. I love how he’s patient and slow. I love how he engages people and makes them feel like they’re the center of the universe. I love how he winks. I love how he growls like a bear, in bed. I love how he always says it out loud when he appreciates or likes something.
I like that he’s a do-it-yourselfer. I like that he does yard work. I like that he’s good with money. I like that he likes his job. I like it that he’s a cat person (I think my cat loves him more than she loves me). I like that when he sets his mind to it, he can build beautiful things. I like that he likes to cook, and bake, and garden. I love it when I’m exhausted after work and he makes dinner for me. I think it’s hilarious that his answer to all household cleaning quandaries is “muriatic acid”.
He’s… goodness. He’s damn good. He’s a good one. He’s what I always wanted. He’s what I was reconciling myself to never finding. Except I found him. And he’s mine.
Elena Petrova once wrote, “Be yourself. But be the best of all your possible selves.” If you can find a person who helps you do that, you are fortunate indeed.
Thanks for the input.
I have lots of reasons for loving my SO.
He understands me (and I’m not easy to understand, or to get along with for long periods, since I usually tend to be an introverted loner). He’s responsible in all the right ways (good with money, has a good work ethic) but knows how to have fun, too. He doesn’t have any significant vices. He’s kind and thoughtful but understands I’m not the type who likes to be treated like a girl (I’m not into chivalry and “being taken care of” and hearts and flowers, and he’s cool with that). Like me, he’s never grown up and most of his leisure-time activities haven’t changed that much from our college days. Also like me, he doesn’t want children and has never admitted to regretting it (I honestly don’t think he does). I trust him utterly and completely.
The thing that always comes most to mind when I consider this question, though, is a minor thing, relatively speaking: he’s kind to cats. Seeing him with our cats, watching him pet them and rub their bellies and get completely starry-eyed when they purr at him…Anybody who does that with genuine innocent pleasure is a keeper in my book.
We’re coming up on our 20th wedding anniversary, so we must be doing something right.
Physical: the fact that he’s not too tall, not overly skinny (like he used to be), his brown eyes & deep voice. He has amazing physical strength too - but he doesnt look all that strong (those strong arms of his are yummy!). He looks good naked.
Emotional: He’s a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, rarely gets upset about anything whereas I do… I’m the high-strung one, I s’pose. For this little crab who hides emotions in her shell, I am like an open book to him. I would say he knows me better than anyone, but I could be over-calculating.
Everytime he caresses me, or kisses me, I get that tingle throughout my body. He doesnt give me false compliments or tempt the insecurities. What I mean by that is - he’s real. We’ve been together coming up on a year and for the first time, a few days ago, he told me that I am beautiful. It meant a lot to me; I didnt take it as a physical compliment, but as a “I see YOU” and this is how I see you.
my Love, who is also a doper, takes my breath away for many reasons.
He so calm and sure of himself without being cocky. He’s grounded and down to earth. He’s very romantic and loving. He always makes sure I know how much he loves me. It’s all the little things - the flowers he brings to work for me, he remembers to give me my pills at night, he does the dishes, he hugs me and gives me passionate kisses even after being together for so long. And it certainly doesn’t hurt that he has such a great body - especially his butt.
She puts up with my BS and she’d kill me if I didn’t.
Wellll the first time I told him I loved him was when he sent me a picture of himself with a uretharl sound up his cock. It’s just that I found sending a picture of himself, as a Dom, looking so vunerable, was rather touching.
And he bought me jewelry. Not that I care about that much, but what he bought me nailed my taste to a tee. That I appreciate.
Physically? Well for a start he’s dapper. He’s dapper as all fucking hell. He could out dapper Fred Astaire. And as behooves the dapper he’s got a lovely thin lithe pale pale British body. Mmmmmmmmm.
And he’s got a tendency for awful puns.
And he wears a really funny hat…well, for an acountent.
And…oh dear, I could be here all day…
Where to start, where to start. . .
Physical: he’s got great hands. Truly. Long, narrow, piano-player fingers. Manly, yet lovely at the same time. Also, the most incredible blue eyes and long, thick, dark eyelashes. (Luckily, our three daughters all got his eyelashes, not my nearly-non-existent ones).
Psychologically: he’s so stable. He’s calm. I’m an emotional mess, but he’s a rock. He tells me everything’s going to be OK in a way that makes me believe it. I trust him. One hundred percent. With everything. It’s never not OK to just be myself around him.
Cheesy Hallmark reasons: he’s not romantic in any “textbook” or traditional kind of a way. But if he goes down to the market for a gallon of milk, he’ll check to see if my favorite steak is on sale. If it is, he buys it for me. When I kick off the blankets in the middle of the night, and he thinks I might be cold, he covers me up (all together now: “awwwwwww”)
Also, I don’t know what category this falls under, but he’s the best lover I’ve ever had.
We’ve been together almost 24 years now. We’ll be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in November. We have three “kids”, ages 21, 17 and 8, and I still believe he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
Many, many times, I find myself wondering what I ever did so right that I deserve him. The wonder of it is, he feels the same way about me.
Oh, man this is like shooting fish in a barrel on SDMB. :rolleyes: 
My husband gives me new reasons to love him every day. I can never keep up.
Physically, he is my ideal. Dark hair, dark eyes, thin, tan, smooth and fuzzy in all the right spots. Physically, we just work. My skin cells were made for his skin cells. I even love the way he smells. He could run a marathon and he still wouldn’t smell bad to me. He is the physical embodiment of safety. I didn’t know safety had a scent, but there you go.
Emotionally, well, it would take a long time to explain. Basically he is the most encouraging and healthy person my life has ever known. He makes me want to be more strong and wise and compassionate and informed and brave, and I make him feel the same way. We just have so much fun together. I could talk to him for hours about anything. We’ve been together 6 years and we still can’t shut up around one another. We lose a lot of sleep because of it! So we have this very comfortable friendship, this very easy way we get along, but on the flip side is something darker and more intense, this thing that makes me fiercely loyal and vehemently romantic. What it comes down to is that during all the moments in my life that I have felt unsafe, and afraid, and confused, and hopeless – he was there. He can just handle it with such grace and calm, I don’t know how, he’s just sort of amazing that way.
Yesterday he gave me a new reason to love him. I’m reading The Watchmen which is one of his favorite graphic novels. He is so excited that I’m reading it because he has been dying to discuss it with me. Anyways, I just finished chapter 4. He asked me my impressions and I basically gave him my armchair interpretation of the book, all the symbolism and what it had to say about a period in history and the influence of technology on the state of the world.
He just looked at me open-mouthed. I guess all these things I saw had never really occurred to him. ‘‘You’re so goddamn smart,’’ he sputtered, ‘‘Like seriously WTF? You just came up with that?’’
And that is basically why I love my husband. He makes me feel special just for being myself.