Why do you need to harrass everyone on the road?

The BBQ Pit
1

When you go to the grocery store, at McDonald’s, at the bank, at Wal-Mart, or anywhere else, and you go to leave, and twenty people are in line, and it takes forty-five minutes to get through, you are completely calm. You make no attempt to get through faster. You display no impatience, you do not yell or scream, call people names, yell out profanity, or even mildl suggest that you need the line to move any faster, not even as much as saying something to the person in front of you. You are as cool as a cucumber, despite the fact that you are not moving forward whatsoever, and that you cannot get any speed whatsoever.

This, by the way, is as it should be. I am just emphasizing the point that zero miles per hour is perfectly okay with you.

Now, you leave and get in to your car, and you get to the road, and you move thirty miles per hour. Now, all of a sudden, you do anything and everything to harrass and bully the driver in front of you, because they are going too slow. ???. You are stressed out and angry at thirty miles per hour, immediately after being totally calm at zero miles per hour. ???

How is it possible to get angry at thirty miles per hour if zero miles per hour is completely okay?

Now, let’s increase to forty miles per hour. You, once again, harrass and bully everyone in front of you because they are going too slow, immediately after being totally calm at zero miles per hour.

How is it possible to get angry at forty miles per hour if zero miles per hour is completely okay?

Now, let’s increase to fifty miles per hour. You, once again, harrass and bully everyone in front of you because they are going too slow, immediately after being totally calm at zero miles per hour.

How is it possible to get angry at fifty miles per hour if zero miles per hour is completely okay?

Before I continue this to the end, I’ll just get to the end question.

How is it possible to get angry at three-hundred miles per hour if zero miles per hour is completely okay?

2

Get out of my way!

3

Your very wrong on the line thing. I drop the two items I almost bought and leave in a hurry.

4

I don’t actually yell and scream etc. but I am just as angry at people at McDonalds, Wal-Mart etc. who waste my time by being goddamn slow. At McDonalds or Wal-Mart there is no need to be angry at people making good faith attempts to get through the line as quickly as possible with no fuss, just like on the road, if people travel at a decent speed for the conditions. When some fuckwit screws everything up in either scenario, wasting everybody’s time, it is right and proper to be angry, although I personally don’t actually express it.

Also, at McDonalds or Wal-Mart there is always the option to forego your purchase today if the line is too slow. On the road you probably need to get somewhere, and turning back is not an option.

5

I was never any good at word problems.

6

Too long, didn’t read, swerved around by driving on shoulder and raised middle finger.

7

Different circumstances call for different actions and reactions.

I am completely OK with people hunting deer in the forest, but I don’t want them doing it at the zoo.

8

I shit in bathrooms all the time. Why does everyone raise hell when I do it in an elevator?

9

And what’s with the search for ‘Rock Star’ parking? Really? We’re going around, again? It’s 2 wks before Xmas, you can see the Mall is packed, let’s just save a little time and park at the edge. We’re healthy and mobile, dressed for the weather. We could walk half a block further in way, WAY, less time then we’re spending do this stupid dance! We’re not buying a damn fridge!

Instead, we circle around the two or three, closest parking rows, in front of the mall entrance, where it’s incredibly slow going, and crawling with pedestrians in the damn snow and sludge.

Oh! I see! We’re going to give the first row a try again! :::sigh:::

10

If your friend is waiting in line at the bank while actually in his car, he’s doing it wrong. Cars wait outside, the people go in.

11

You eat at McDonald’s?

12

I’ve never waited 45 minutes in line at McDonalds, WallMart, or anywhere else, except the emergency room, and that was because I ran a guy off the road for driving 300 MPH in a 350 MPH zone.

13

You ever hear of the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” aka the Online Disinhibition Effect?

Pretty much the same deal. One’s the “Information Superhighway” the other is just the highway.

14

The idea that I would be “completely calm” about a 20-person, 45-minute line is the funniest thing I’ve read on the Internet since the Onion had Joe Biden in a ponytail.

15

People still go inside banks?

You don’t ever use a drive up ATM? Or the, you know, drive thru window with that cool pneumatic tube thingy? (I want one of those in my house, for laundry.)

16

So what was the speed limit?

I for one get a little unhappy when people regularly drive 30-35 on the roads near my house that are posted 45 or 50 every 1/4 mile.

17

Those tubes are pretty small. What do you wear every day? :smiley:

18

I don’t know of any of those tube thingies located in the big city. Most of my banking doesn’t involve waiting in lines at all. For example, to deposit a paper check, I use an app on my iPhone to take a picture of the check. Then I drive my car through the front door of my bank to show the picture of the check to a teller. I have never had to wait in line at the bank when I do this; it is very convenient and low stress… for me.

19

So your real beef is with disgruntled pilots. Why didn’t you say so from the beginning.

I’m with you. Fuck the AMR pilots union!!!

20

I know someone like this. Surprised the hell out of me. A co-worker of mine is pleasant and fun to be around, but we went out to lunch one time where she drove and she turned into a Total Fuckwad on the road. Swerving, swearing, tailgating people, muttering angry, dark things to herself. It was a complete 180 from her normal personality.

I drove from then on