Just got back from a business trip to the Southwest, where simple courtesy requires accompanying one’s associates to Mexican restaurants multiple times. No problem there, but simple manhood requires using as much hot sauce on it as they do. No problem there, either - just get it down fast, eat bread, drink plenty of iced tea, and keep them from being able to laugh at your silly Yankee face. I’m sure many of you are thinking “Been there, done that. So what?”
Well, do you remember what it felt like a few hours later, when it felt like a hot poker going in your rectum? Even multiple trips to the shitter didn’t get rid of the irritation. And multiple trips to the shitter were required, weren’t they?
So this is really 2 questions, I guess:
Why does Mexican food (or maybe just hot sauce) cause a unique form of irritation? Is the capsaicin in the chili sauce really irritating everything it touches, from the tongue down the entire digestive tract, until it reaches a spot with some nerve endings? And why does the irritation arrive well before the solid form it’s associated with - does the capsaicin separate into a lubricant that flows on ahead?
Why does Mexican food create waste products of such an, um, unique texture?
And why do people on this board still think it’s funny to mention a gemstone on numbered lists?
#1: Just a WAG, but I think the capsaicin acts as an overall chemical irritant, sending your entire intestinal tract into spasm. When the upper end of your intestinal tract isn’t happy, the lower end gets upset in sympathy. Waves of distress signals flash back and forth, even though the actual irritant itself may be hours away from actually reaching the nether regions of your colon, where most of the action already seems to be.
#2 (heh): Because pinto beans are a major component of Mexican food, and pinto beans are very high in fiber. Fiber, fiber, fiber. Zooming along your intestinal tract, shooing everything ahead of it. “Go, go, go.” That’s what fiber does.
I would guess that you’re having such problems mainly because you aren’t acclimated to it. You’re not in the habit of ingesting vast quantities of bowel irritants every day, so when it does happen, your digestive tract goes into hysterical “ohmigod!” spasms.
Also, am I correct in assuming there’s a certain element of one-upmanship involved in these business meals? As in “way-ull, hay-ull, Mexican food jist ain’t Mexican food without chu got at least a 3-alarm fahr a-goin’ 'fore you even put the first bite into your mouth, son…”
Be a wuss–cut back on the hot sauce. Your anus will thank you.
It is perfectly permissible to say, shrugging and smiling, “Well, I like Mexican food–but Mexican food doesn’t like me”, and then order a hamburger. And if your host has a problem with that, well, then that’s his problem, isn’t it?
[sub]ah, these boys and their pissing contests[/sub]
I would wager that it’s the fat, not the fiber that’s causing the, um, urgency. Fiber does act as a laxative in its way, but it doesn’t give you the trots.
Well, that was idiotic of me. The actual segment of the show dealt with why hot food burns, and what’s vulnerable, but the page only provides a synopsis of the segment. Sorry.
*“POR LA BUENA VOZ DEL PACIENTE SE ADVIERTE QUE YA PUEDE COMER CHILE”. *
“That good voice from the patient (a fart) is signal that he/she can eat chili peppers now”
— Old picaresque Mexican proverb.
Some foods irritate the anus when they are expelled during a bowel movement. The most common culprits are caffeine, chocolate, beer, nuts, diary products, and spicy food.
In view of the fact that most Mexican men eat a diet that is high in saturated fats (lard, fried foods, cheese and pork) yet have an anomalously low rate of coronary disease, there is specualtion that the capsaicin may act as an arterial “roto-rooter” of sorts. It most certainly seems to have that same effect on one’s lower tract.
So, it seems that the health benefits may indeed make it all “worth it.”
Zenster
(Who just scoffed down an al Pastor super burrito the size of his head for lunch today. Honestly, guys in line at the Taqueria Chavez were expressing total disbelief that I was in any way able to eat the entire thing in one sitting. I finished it with a bag of chips and some Jalapeño rajas just for fun.)
